Hit-N-Record
Welcome to Hit-N-Record!
I'm Keno Manuel, a filmmaker passionate about exploring the stories of creative minds and sharing their journeys with you. On this channel, you'll find authentic, inspiring conversations with innovative creators from filmmaking, photography, and beyond.
Every episode, I sit down with local creatives to dig into their successes, challenges, and the lessons that shaped their paths. Whether you're an aspiring filmmaker, an entrepreneur, or someone who loves personal growth, Hit-N-Record is here to spark your creativity and motivate you to achieve your goals.
Subscribe and become a part of the Hit-N-Record community—new episodes drop twice a month on Spotify and YouTube.
Hit-N-Record
"Visibility Could Have Saved Me" | Empowering Marginalized Communities with Smoke Breaks Actors
This episode delves into the transformative power of theater as a medium for healing and self-discovery. Our guests share their personal stories of navigating identity, acceptance, and community through their art, highlighting the importance of visibility and authentic representation in the creative space.
• The therapeutic role of theater in processing trauma
• Shared experiences fostering community and connection
• The critical need for representation in media
• The balance between individuality and shared narratives in performing arts
• Navigating complex relationship dynamics creatively
• Emphasizing vulnerability and authenticity in storytelling
• The impact of storytelling on societal perceptions and mental health
• Calls to action for increased visibility and advocacy in the arts
JOIN OUR COMMUNITY:
Discord: https://discord.gg/y6MdmHEGJS
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/hitnrecord/
Website: https://www.hitnrecord.com
Theater was always my safe space. We would work through our trauma and we would feel accepted together. That just wasn't something that was easy to come by where I was growing up. It was hard to feel understood by family.
Speaker 2:You have to be aware of who you are in space and time. I put myself in theater because I wanted to be there, to surround myself with the right people who are equally as passionate and are where they want to be. Realizing it's not a solo journey, realizing that there are other people around you going through similar things, even though we may look different and we come from different backgrounds.
Speaker 3:Acceptance and understanding can be universal if we allow it to be.
Speaker 5:How many Hispanic women do you see on TV every day? Most of our roles are cooking, cleaning and taking care of people. I grew up watching that from my mom and my grandma. I never saw them be able to take care of themselves. That's something that I had to unlearn. But also take that unconditional love and acceptance and resilience with me and be able to break that cycle.
Speaker 2:I have been told for most of my life that I am not Black enough, and that is something that really is hurtful. It is so important for people to check themselves whenever they say that I am going to walk through life like this. Be aware of it, but do not let it hold you back.
Speaker 1:Your most authentic, unaltered form is going to touch someone.
Speaker 4:Every one of us. There's a world that deserves to be nurtured, and however that world is created will determine the outcome of how they live the rest of their lives. Hi guys, welcome back to another Hidden Record episode. I forgot what number this is, but we're doing something different today. We're doing a roundtable with these wonderful guests. Each of these guests came from a long journey to this film to make it into a reality. Are you all excited?
Speaker 3:Yes, more energy.
Speaker 4:Woo, thank you, thank you, thank you, okay, all right. So, um, in this conversation, we're just going to be pretty much talking about how this film came to be and what each of their experiences was like and how they are, how they took their life experiences from, what they have learned how to live with, and then how they poured that into their characters as well as contributing to the entire community. Here, where I think it's it should be, it should be given enough of respect and the amount of awareness as much as everything else. It's still just as important. Okay, there's it's very important to make sure that everybody feels seen and heard, but unfortunately, we live in 2024 where there's a lot of divide. That is what we're gonna be talking about today. Are you all excited?
Speaker 4:thank you, oh, my goodness so what we're gonna do is uh, by the way, this is the first round table, so, uh, please bear with us for some, um, technical difficulties, but that's okay. You know whyonds are made. They started out rough, but you know what, with pressure, yes, yes, with pressure, we're going to come out looking like a shiny gem. Anyways, let's start with the introductions. So go ahead. Local actress and all around community service. Lover of all the things Wonderful, we have the first guest here Next your turn.
Speaker 5:Hey guys. Um my name is deandra. I am I am a freelance worker in the music and entertainment industry. Um my majority background is in the recording studio. Um I do a lot of work post uh in music and film. Um I also do some djing um but I've been a part of the creative community here in Pensacola since 2020. It's been an honor to see it grow and expand and be a part of that, so so happy to be here today. Thank you for having us.
Speaker 4:Whoa, that is wicked. That is so wicked cool.
Speaker 5:Wicked, wicked, wicked, wicked, your turn.
Speaker 2:Hello everyone. So I'm Jason Jamal Ligon. I'm originally from Waterloo, south Carolina, but hey, I made it out. Hi, fam. I've been in Atlanta, georgia, though, for the last 14 years. That's where I'm based, and so I'm an actor based out of there, but then I also work in conservation biology. So, that's my other half. I feel like Clark Kent in Supermanman. Some days one half feels like clark kent and some days it feels like superman.
Speaker 2:So yeah, there's that duality going on but, yeah, I was so excited to play roger in this film for smoke breaks and, yeah, be able to meet all of these wonderful people in front and behind the camera thank you so much for coming out, and now we have the final guest, hi um, thank you for that.
Speaker 1:Uh, my name is liam gardner. I am from louisiana. I have lived in many cities in louisiana. At this point I have considered it my grand tour, if you will, okay? Um, I played leon in the production of smoke breaks. Uh, a little bit about me. Most of my background is actually in theater. I've expanded to film over the most recent years, um, but I do a lot of theater production work in addition to acting. So whenever I'm not on the stage, I'm usually doing something behind the scenes.
Speaker 4:But I'm an artist, theater maker, craftsman at heart you know, with theater it's like we're able to see the world and in a way where there's a bit of humor, and also it's like we don't have to treat everything so serious. If we play right with theater like how to make everything so theatrical it makes it easier to bear through the struggles that we have to live with. Otherwise we're going to be like Joker. Why so serious?
Speaker 1:Why so serious? Why so serious? We need to have a little fun.
Speaker 4:We're going gonna start up with the first question. Let's do a flashback. So, william, who is our esteemed director, the screenwriter and the one that pretty much brought the avengers here together each of them are like the infinity stones. They all come together to create this beautiful project, which is very hauntingly beautiful in a way that really does shine a lot on the issues as well as the complexities to come in the relationship between two people that are not generally considered the norm. So that is what we're going to dive into first. But first I would love for each of you guys to tell me your perspective and your journey in before you came into this project and after the project. Let's start with you, dolores. I know that's your character's name, but we're gonna start with that.
Speaker 3:Go ahead hey, I answered to dolores. That's my name, don't wear it out. Yes, uh, well, the fact of the matter is, is dolores is just me, because I am already the fairy gay mother of the community. I'm the mother hen just pulling the babies in and protecting everyone, and I taught high school for many years and sponsored the gay straight alliances at my schools when I was allowed to. However, here in Florida, we are no longer allowed to do those sorts of things or talk about any of these issues, so unfortunately, that's a detriment to our community and to our upcoming children, who need to have people like me be their protectors. So even more so.
Speaker 3:unfortunately, it's a difficult job to do when you're not allowed to talk about things, so I have spent the last couple of years not working in education, thanks to our wonderful, esteemed governor and some of the laws that have been enacted and I taught English and when you start banning books and banning libraries and banning Shakespeare, there's really nothing for me to do and it's, I think it's hurtful to our children, because all of that was secondary to me to being the protector and being the rainbow warrior of the schools, and kids that didn't even know me would see me in the halls and address me by name because they knew they could come to my classroom as a safe space. So I hate not being in the classroom now because that's one less person you know, to be a warrior for them.
Speaker 3:But at the same time, it's hard for me to stand on my principles and, you know, be there and fighting the good fight when I'm not even allowed to talk about anything, you know. Okay, so, bringing all of that to the table to Dolores I think Dolores is just kind of the mother hen to Leon and we don't really we don't get a lot of that in the dialogue, but I feel like that's the background and that Dolores has been coming to Leon for many years to make her beautiful and just to look out for him and just to be. You know that's their gossip girl. You know, kind of steel magnolias, kind of time in the salon. You know you do the thing and we'll talk about the things and then I'll go about my day and love you darling, and so that's dolores okay, actually, I do have a question to endow a bridge between you and dolores in terms of the character as well as your experiences in life.
Speaker 4:So, as we understand, we should, teachers, we all really do appreciate every effort that you do give us to every students, as well as the kids that uh have grown up in in a situation where they do not have any parental figures. So, going back to what you just said, as a teacher and also as you coming up, coming up with the theatrical background, um, I how have you guys been able to bring in this um perspective, uh, where, as a teacher, you're trying to educate those kids that have literally no guidance and how they should live their life? And, as a theater, as a kid oh my gosh, theatrical kid um, I know there's uh, as a theater we usually have. We use that as a way to cope with some things that we have a hard time understanding. So, between two characters, now that you have shown and have done your best to express that, what are some of the things that you have come out in terms of, you know, educating the viewers on both sides, if that makes sense?
Speaker 3:Sure, my background is also in theater and I'm certified to teach English and drama, and I've been in theater since I was like five years old, so none of this community is new to me. So I've grown up in around this whole community, right, and I'm from Arkansas, where that wasn't necessarily accepted or you know a big deal.
Speaker 3:And even I did collegiate theater as well and for the longest time didn't even know that I had two gay best friends, because they weren't allowed to talk about it then either, because we went to a Baptist college. So there was none of that. Because Jesus don't like the gay people. You know my Jesus does, so that's another topic entirely. But as an educator, when we the last few years were not allowed to talk about things, it's OK, I'll just decorate my whole classroom in rainbows and I had a poster made that says all y'all are welcome. That means everyone and I put all the symbols of all the colors, all the flags and everything, so there's no wordage needed, and kids would notice that and say, hey, I really appreciate that, and that was spoke volumes, without ever saying a word. You know. So there's, there's definitely ways around it.
Speaker 3:It's just unfortunate that we can't have the conversations that we need to have sometimes.
Speaker 3:So you know cause I used to just pull kids aside all the time and be like hey, if you need to talk, I'm here, whatever, and now, like I can be prosecuted and jailed for that and that's.
Speaker 3:I can't in good conscience get paid for a job that I'm lying every day at. You know what I mean. So I think I'm a great teacher, but I had to step away from that because that was just, it was too much of a battle and so I hate it, because there's less support for our kids out there and, unfortunately, the youth suicide rate is so high. And you know, like so many times, we need to have these conversations and that's why this is so important, because we have to have these conversations, we have to let people express themselves, we have to be able to talk about things. So this, this film in particular, absolutely opens up a lot of doors for me to be able to talk about things that I know people definitely need to discuss. I don't know if that answers your question or not, but I would love to have your answer.
Speaker 1:Go ahead yes, so I have been involved in theater since I was in middle school and I really fell deep into it when I was in high school. Um, and theater really fell deep into it when I was in high school and theater was always my safe space. Theater was always the place that I could go with my friends. We would make art, we would work through our trauma and we would feel accepted together.
Speaker 1:My theater community is truly the reason why I am still here, and with that theater community, interestingly enough, as Michelle speaks about education, the theater teachers were lifesavers, not just to me but to so many people around us. The theater teacher classroom is where you would go whenever you were down, whenever you were up, whenever you wanted to celebrate, whenever you wanted to mourn. Um, and that just wasn't something that was easy to come by where I was growing up. Um, it was hard to feel understood by family, it was hard to feel understood by most of my peers, but, but when it came to came time to go to theater, when it came time to go to rehearsal, when it came time to go do some improv, like, everything else was a little bit more quiet and all the good stuff was amplified.
Speaker 1:Um, and interestingly enough, I just recently started a job at a university in Louisiana. I am not specifically a teacher, but I am a theater shop coordinator and facilities manager, so I kind of oversee technical theater students whenever they work in the shop. And that has already been so incredibly fulfilling, because I've kind of graduated into the role of being the caretaker for the younger babies, which is something that meant the world to me when I was coming up. Um, and so there's much to be said about the relationship between a caring educator and um and their mentees. Like it is the impact that an educator has. I could go on for days.
Speaker 4:No, you're good. I'm already touched about just by two of your um experiences and they said to say and the answers you gave, thank you so much. And then, uh, we will always go back to this. Okay, we have so much people to go over, but the one thing I would definitely say is that um teachers have the godlike power it's like they almost have this godlike power to shape, uh one. It's not the world that we live in, but each in them, in each, every one of us, there's a world that deserves to be nurtured and however that world is created will determine the outcome of how they live the rest of their lives.
Speaker 4:And teachers, and great respect to taking up the um, the responsibility to teach the younger generation that right there, it's like by shaping the world for the future generations by um, enabling this um, not enabling um, by building this habit of making sure that, despite things are not being openly talked about, by making sure that you have the power to foster that environment where it's healthy, talk about that stuff, you guys are going to make a huge impact and sure we might not see that come to life in our lifetime, but it is a giant contribution to something that most people might never have realized, because we were part of that, and those people, those are the ones that will lift the fruits of our labor, but we might not be around for that. Anyways, see, you see how deep and fully devout that was. That is how it's going to be, like your turn.
Speaker 5:Could you repeat the question for me? What? What Is the question? Just how I became involved with Smoke Breaks.
Speaker 4:Yes, I'm sorry. Involved with, yes, sorry, uh, so basically the um. What was it like um, basically before you got onto this project and how you came out after working on it, and also, do you do some introduction, kind of like how they did? Okay?
Speaker 5:yeah, action, yeah for sure. Um, so I, like I mentioned earlier, I've been a part of the creative community here in pensacola since around 2020.
Speaker 4:Okay.
Speaker 5:Um, I came in as um a recording artist in in the studio, so, um, my background is mainly hiding in the studio booth with headphones on expressing emotions and kind of like painting pictures with sound. Um, and from there I was able to go into production and film. Um, most of my work has all been behind the camera.
Speaker 5:I've actually done a lot of work with Calliope Films, the production company that produced Smoke Breaks, and worked very closely with Chris and Sierra on various projects throughout the years, and the way I was introduced and invited into Smoke Breaks was actually through Sierra Hobbs, the producer at Calliope Films. She texted me one day and she said hey girl, do you act? And I was like I mean not really, but I can try. And from that answer I meant like I'm fully capable of embodying emotion and being able to portray that. So I was like, yeah, I mean I can do it. And she was like, well, I, I just read a script. Um, I read this character and I swear she's you. I really want you to audition to this part. Okay, and I was like, okay, like I'm down, I'll try it.
Speaker 5:Um, fun fact, I actually auditioned in this very room. This is the room that I auditioned in Um. So um came in, did my audition with Will Um and I honestly truly did not think I got the part. I was like okay, that was fun Like I did it.
Speaker 5:I at the very least I I auditioned, I went out of my comfort zone, I did something challenging for myself, went on my merry way in my life and, um, I think two a month or two later, will gave me a call and he was like hey CC, and I was like, oh my God, like hey, I thought y'all already filmed and he was like no, we're, we're going to film in May, like you're welcome.
Speaker 5:So, um, I honored and a privilege to be a part of this. Um, when I read the script, I immediately was attached to CC. I, just like Michelle mentioned, and very much CC um, from a very early young age I was a safe space for a lot of queer and LGBTQ um individuals. Um, especially growing up in Florida and in middle school, when you're like everything the world is ending every day and you're trying to find yourself.
Speaker 5:I was a safe space for many and it continued on into my adulthood and I take pride in that role. I think we everybody needs a safe space and everybody needs somebody that they can be fully themselves with and be fully vulnerable with, and I love that. I attract that in people. Um, I think it speaks volumes to how I try to live my life and um, smoke breaks is so important because it has that theme of unconditional love in in unconventional circumstance, and I think we live that every day and love is so rare these days and we all need more of it and anything that has to do with that. I am all for and I also would love to touch on the topic that it not only represents this community but also highlights minorities. I'm Hispanic, I'm a Hispanic woman, puerto Rican, born and raised, and the fact that we have both of these in one film I was like sign me up. Like.
Speaker 5:I'm here for it. So yeah, that's kind of how Smoke.
Speaker 4:Breaks came into my life. Oh my gosh, i'm'm just gonna say, I'm just gonna ask one, okay. Okay, so you mentioned you do music, right? Yeah, so, just like what teachers and, uh, theater does oftentimes, when we talk about hard topics, not everything has to be discussed through words. Um, it can be the sound of music, yes. So, um, in the same manner as teachers and educators, when you do express yourself in music, there's some, there's something magical about the fact that you create these sounds that help people really get in touch with their internal child, their inner child and then also understanding and making it easier for their internal conflict to be seen and heard through a sound of music.
Speaker 4:So, as someone who has dived into music, how have you been able to contribute to the film with that background?
Speaker 5:Yeah, that's a great question. I think the biggest thing was for me is embodying emotion and embodying a theme. I do that, you know, daily in when I write. I believe every song can be a small world, and when you really dive deep and you can add all those colors with the sounds, um, people feel it. You know what I mean. It's, it's frequency and people feel that within themselves. Um, so I knew, coming into smoke breaks. I was more than capable of translating that into not sound but film, um, visually, Um, and it was. It was just so. It was a beautiful thing to watch instead of listen.
Speaker 4:Um, so, yeah, Thank you for doing that, oh seriously.
Speaker 5:It's literally my purpose, so thank you for providing the space.
Speaker 4:Shout out to Calliope Films. Yeah, and if you were looking for a studio, please book Calliope Films or Npetsacola. You can find them on Instagram. I think it's CCC underscore studios. I might be wrong, sorry, chris, I'm doing my best to promote your stuff, so if you're looking for a studio book here Anyways, back to the conversation, make sure you grab your popcorn soda.
Speaker 2:Okay all right, your turn, my turn, all right. So let's, let's go back in time. Let's go back in time when super before, before superman this is like the origin story, yeah. So I'm thinking back to high school and I remember having, like my, the beginning of my quarter life crisis, and I remember asking my parents, like what, what should I do? Like? What should I do Like? What should I do? Like I'm really like, I was very, I'm a very anxious person. Yes, I've calmed down a little bit, but back then it was a real bad, okay, so both speaking of teachers here, bear with me. So I'm the child of two teachers. So my dad, for the most of his career 39 years teaching public high school taught chemistry and German, and my mom, for a significant part of her career, taught biology and chemistry. And so I am the child of two parents and they just pushed me to do what I love. All of that You'll figure it out later.
Speaker 2:So, fast forward went to college and I studied theater and I studied conservation biology because I wanted to, like, save the world, but I also wanted I love theater because it got me to explore who I am and just going through this singular journey in life. And so I was like I don't know what I'm going to do with this. So I started out studying engineering at Clemson and I was like this does not fit right. So I switched over to conservation, biology and theater and my advisor even said I've never seen this combo before. And I was like yeah, but I just want to do it, cause my parents said like I should just do it and like maybe I should just do it. And he was like calm down, just I'll, I'll sign off, figure it out later.
Speaker 2:So fast forward, like 10 more years living in Atlanta, all this stuff, like I still work at a botanical garden and I still act. So I'm still doing both of those things. And so I'm so grateful that my parents, as teachers, were just like shine, just do what you love doing. And I'm still doing exactly what I love doing.
Speaker 2:And so at this point in my career, I'm really thankful that I have people who will look out for me and send me scripts sometimes, and I love, you know, the bigger film sets and all of that. But I really love the passion projects, and this is one of those passion projects. I can just feel it from day one whenever I first got a text from Paul Conroy, who's the founding and artistic director at Outfront Theater in Atlanta, georgia, which is the only LGBTQ plus theater in the Southeast, and so that is the origin of my, I would say, start with Smoke Breaks was really getting a text from him saying like hey, you want to be you, you want to be a part of this, and I was like I guess, I was like I want to see the script, and so I read the script and I was like, ooh, I was like this is good.
Speaker 7:I was like Ooh, this is.
Speaker 2:There's some juice in here. I love a little juicy script and so I was. There was something about it. I was like these characters are like. I felt like a fly on the wall when I was reading it.
Speaker 2:I'm like I should not be seeing this, I should not be reading this, but it was just something about those words that Will put on that page and I was like there's a lot going on here. So I did the staged reading. That was at Outfront Theater. I met this lovely person over here and so we were just, you know, kiki-ing offstage and onstage. And then afterwards will came up to me. He's like, oh, y'all's chemistry on stage was like so good. I was like oh, oh, okay, yeah, great, okay, thanks.
Speaker 2:And I think too, it's like will, we all got a standing ovation and all that. It was just a great first read, hearing it out loud, all of that, and so fast forward. Will was like I, I can't say anything, but like I really want you to be involved with this, like I think we have funding to make it happen. I was like, okay, will was like I can't say anything, but I really want you to be involved with this. I think we have funding to make it happen. I was like okay.
Speaker 2:I was like Atlanta is five hours away. I don't know Can we do this, but Calliope Films, sierra, chris Del Shores Foundation, will. They all banded together, they opened up their purses and they found that money this local art community here in Pensacola, like they found the money to make it happen. So I'm just so thankful to be a part of it and still be able to be a part of this passion project. I think that we would all agree that, again in front of and behind the camera, there's just been a lot of passion along the way, and so, yeah, I'm just curious to see where it goes from here.
Speaker 4:Always a question after every guess. Okay, here's my question for you. Okay, so I heard that you did struggle with anxiety at an early age. Now, what I find interesting is that you also found your home in botanical gardens and an overall theme of nature conservation. Now, I would imagine, when it comes to those kind of things, one of the things that you would have to keep in mind is taking great care of the plants, making sure that they're in good for lack of a better word thorough life. Okay, they're not dying off.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 4:They're green, beautiful, full of life. Now, if you take the great care to those plants, how did you make sure that was also applied to your own personal issues with anxiety? Because when you don't do that, anxiety does become an issue work to a point where it becomes so incapacitating. So how did you do that? And especially, also, you're an actor. The fact that you're you're being so courageous enough to put yourself on stage, that does not help with the anxiety part, oh no, it just puts yourself on a display for everybody. So my question to you is basically with the mixture of botanical gardens and the interest in nature conservation, how are you able to make sure that you're taking care of yourself with the issue of anxiety?
Speaker 2:Good question. So I feel like the through line for that is really listening. So I feel like people will talk about like I talk to my plants, like I whisper to my plants, but, more scientifically speaking, it's like you make observations, you make scientific deductions of like, hmm well, based on this, I can tell that this has happened. What has been the cause? It's cause and effect. I think that's what it is, and so whenever we think of science, it's the cause and effect. So we see the effects when we really try to ask scientific questions to see, like, what was the cause of it.
Speaker 2:So I think it's the same thing with me, as I try to listen to my body and just get in tune with that. So with acting, you just have to be present, you have to be aware of who you are in space and time and given circumstances, and so I think that that has been the same thing. So I started out as an orchid horticulturist, and so people think that orchids are really hard to take care of, and we I always say that it's not. We just like to abuse them and put them in spaces that are comfortable for us but not for them, and I think that that is true for people as well. We like to put people where we think they belong.
Speaker 2:And I don't think that that's always does them well, and so I feel like for me it's like I've. I put myself in theater because I wanted to be there and at first, yeah, I had to acclimate. We say the plants have to acclimate. If you put them from this circumstance, to this other environment. They need time to acclimate. So I think that in college I was not a star y'all. I was not a college like rock star in theater. I was nervous.
Speaker 2:It was bad y'all. I got on stage and it was just like wet. It was not cute at all but I feel like I gave myself years to acclimate to it.
Speaker 2:Still on the journey. We're still all loving growing, all these things. But, yeah, I feel like I put myself in an environment that I wanted to be in and, because of that, like I've just started to surround myself with the right people who are equally as passionate and are where they want to be, and I feel like there's this synergy that's created. So another part of it is just not realizing, realizing that it's not a solo journey. So I think that's also helps with the anxiety is realizing it's not a solo journey, um, but realizing that there are other people around you going through similar things or that you can feed off of that are, that are there for you as well. So that's helped to calm the anxiety as well. It's like it's going to be all right. We're all in this together. We haven't done this podcast before. We're all in this together.
Speaker 4:You know, that is such a beautiful answer, um, the one more thing I want to add to that is it still connects If you think about it, pretty still connects to the teacher. So, if you think about it, a garden, we have a caretaker. Um, that's you right. You're taking great care of each plants, but the plants could represent, as teacher, those are the kids that you're also helping them grow, make sure that they're acclimating to the environment, especially those that do not feel seen and heard, and also they are in a minority. So if we think about orchid as a type of species that is that needs great care, but they're also the type that might not live long if not get put in the right environment.
Speaker 4:We're all. We're all just powerful in that way. The fact that each of you have this capability to make sure that you cultivate the environment and the future, that's something to great. That's something that you should always be proud of yourself for taking that responsibility on. And the last thing I would say is the? Um, what touched me was the way you explained about how? Um, with anxiety and with just being around with the right people. What I found really beautiful is that oftentimes, when we see a beautiful flower, they're always the first ones to go because people will pick them up, often forgetting that when you do pick them up, you die out.
Speaker 2:Yes, poaching is real y'all.
Speaker 4:So in our pursuit of our career, sometimes we might forget that we're also that same flower. We're literally sacrificing ourselves and the time and effort that it takes to make something so meaningful. So I think we should all remember to, as we get picked up by each of the flowers, like we're the flowers, we have to remember that we have to make our lives meaningful and impactful and not filled with any sense of hatred and negative emotions. We have to leave this world better than we then we were born into so good job.
Speaker 1:All right, your turn all right, all right, I'm also going to take you back in time for a moment. Um, so, yeah, I, as previously mentioned, uh, theater was my thing. Theater is, but has been my bread and butter for as long as I can remember. Um, and whenever it came time to go off to college, I was like, you know what, mom and dad, I'm gonna study theater. And they were like, oh, you're gonna cool, cool. And this is like coming off the brink of like, having a sister who was salutatorian, having a sister who got a very large scholarship to a private university in louisiana, and then there's me, the second one, wanting to be a cute little artist. Um, I, I say that, but they, they, they're very accepting of my journey now.
Speaker 1:Um, but when I came into college, that was pre-transition, so I was still identifying as a female. I was identifying as a lesbian at the time, which there's also a lot of lore there we can unpack Um, but it was in between my freshman and sophomore year of college whenever I started transitioning. Um, so I started socially transitioning and then, a couple months later, I started medically transitioning and whenever I entered college, I had intentions of just studying performance. But whenever I started my transition. Nobody in the department really knew what to do with me. Acting became very uncomfortable for me to do, because it's hard enough to act as it is. It's even harder to act when you don't feel comfortable in your own body. So there was just like this huge disconnect. Um, so I started studying technical theater. I was kind of pushed in that direction, but it ultimately served me because I did fall in love with it.
Speaker 1:But, um, I actually was not performing for many years in college and it wasn't until, um the semester before my senior year, where Del Shores was holding auditions for a play that he was commissioned to write at my university and I, just as soon as I knew he was coming, I knew that I was going to be in the show, and I don't know how to explain it I don't mean it in a cocky way I was just like oh, del Shores is coming here, I'll be in his show, absolutely so. I auditioned for his show with an original monologue that spoke about the struggles of being trans and in his words, it was one of the best auditions he had seen, which means a lot to me to this day and from there I was cast in his show. He wrote this very beautiful character for me and it was my first time playing a trans character on stage. Um, from there I, after working on that project, uh, and, and studying with him and his acting for the camera masterclass, I knew deep down inside that Dell was going to be a huge um segue for me in my career.
Speaker 1:Um, and then, lo and behold, it is fall of 2023. Uh, dell reaches out to me and he says hey, I just got this incredible script from one of our writers. Uh, and our writer search Um, his name is William, I'm going to connect you with says hey, I just got this incredible script from one of our writers in our writer's search. His name is William. I'm going to connect you with him. The role in this script is yours, unless you mess it up. He used stronger words Unless you mess it up.
Speaker 1:And I read the script and I kind of just broke down immediately because it was the first time that I had really seen myself in a character, the first time that I had really seen myself in a character.
Speaker 1:So I've always said that with really good acting, you shouldn't have to reach super far, and with this character, I did not have to reach far at all. There were so many shared lived experiences that were written into Leon, which also just a side note. Whenever I told my family that my name was Liam, my stepdad, being the clown of a man that he is, was like, oh Leon, did you say that your name is Leon? And he still, to this day, calls me Leon? So whenever I received the script from Will and the character's name was Leon, I was like, yeah, this is this, this is my role. It was just one of those like cosmically connected things. But yeah, this, this character, really felt like a reflection of me in a lot of ways. So I am very, very grateful that I was able to play this role question time I love a question all right.
Speaker 4:so growing up, it sounds like you did, uh, have a sense of black sheep, uh feeling like a black sheep, especially when you're in the transition phase, but also it does sound like you also kind of struggle with body dysmorphia, because there's like a huge disconnect and that's why you have to go through the entire transition phase.
Speaker 4:And then what I want one thing I really found that I think is really lucky for you to have is that your dad you mentioned that he's a he has a clown in, oftentimes, father figures. There are a lot of father figures that have a very strong sense of conservative views and with conservative views, it would also play a huge factor in most children. When they grow up, they have to mold them by instilling some of the values that they were taught. So by hearing the fact that your dad had, like, the sense of humor, which also connects to theater, it must have made it easier to understand the world in your own way, without feeling pressure to live up to the conservative views that he used to live with. So my question to you is this With all those struggles and things that you had to learn how to live with, what is the one thing that you were so proud of uh contributing to this film for the people that struggle the exact same thing that you're going through and are still going through and working to become better at really visibility.
Speaker 1:Visibility is the most important thing. Um, I've said it before, I've said it, I'll say it again um, there is not an abundance of trans mask representation, specifically not a bunch of trans mask queer representation, and being visible really demystifies the trans experience. Like that, I think, is my whole purpose as a person, specifically as an artist, is demystifying the experience and just talking about it, like, like you don't have to suffer in silence, and I think that speaking about all of the trauma that you went through, as unfortunate as it is to relive it sometimes, like you need to express to your community how this is a unified struggle. You're not alone. Hi, here's everything that I went through.
Speaker 1:I think that you can relate to this. Let's talk about it and let's again demystify it, because I get, I've received the most absurd questions from every walk of life since I started transitioning um, many ways and disrespectful, but a lot of ways out of genuine curiosity. Um, and if we just talked about it more, you know you wouldn't be feeling so alone, you wouldn't be feeling so isolated. So the most important thing to me is just talked about it more, you know, you wouldn't be feeling so alone, you wouldn't be feeling so isolated, so the most important thing to me is just speaking on it.
Speaker 4:What was the painful part about feeling alone and in a world where you felt like no one was ever going to understand you Because you spoke on visibility? What is the most painful thing that you had to live through without giving the equal amount of visibility? Do you have brothers, sisters?
Speaker 1:I have five siblings.
Speaker 4:Okay, one more question, then we're going to move on to the segment. I'm going to make an assumption that and also follow that up by saying that well, I'll follow up first and then I'll ask. In a family setting, parents we always try to do, they try to do their best to give equal share uh, fair share of attention to each children, because they need that, especially when they grew up. Um, now, of course, there will be kids that may not turn out the way they the parents thought they would, because, unfortunately, one thing I've learned from the previous episodes that parents should have to learn how to not change the child into who they want to be, but rather, like as a botanical gardener, they have to foster them to create an environment that makes them feel so happy about who they are. So, in your case having brothers and sisters, if I'm wrong I'm sorry, you have siblings how did you go about making sure that you didn't feel like you were invalidated and not enough if you weren't given enough visibility from your parents?
Speaker 1:So it was an interesting reaction on all sides of my family because, for context, I have divorced parents and everyone took it very differently, but everyone took it very hard at first it was to a point where, with certain sides of my family, I actually did cut myself off from them for an extended period of time because, unfortunately, I was receiving very intense text messages every day. I was receiving like Bible verses every day and a lot of condemning words on the daily basis. And, um, I had to, I had to isolate myself, I had to distance and at that time it was many years ago. So my a few of my siblings who were younger than me, I was not speaking to them for a bit. Um, I, even one of one of my family members was like telling me how selfish everything that I was doing was. And, um, you, have you even considered how this will affect your sisters? Have you even considered how this will affect us?
Speaker 1:And for me, as much as it really messed me up, I took the distance in the space that I needed and was like hey, I provided you with the resources that you needed to understand. Like, whenever I came out, I gave everyone in my family like pamphlets and links and resources to try to understand. Like, whenever I came out, I gave everyone in my family like pamphlets and links and resources to try to understand. Um, you can lead a horse to water, but you cannot make them drink it. Um, so I distanced myself, but through the distance, I did not let that stop me from being me. I did not suppress myself.
Speaker 1:Um, I continued to be genuine and continued to be me. Um, over time, I did receive the necessary apologies from those family members and we did build that bridge. Um, and I think that the most important thing that I did was staying true to myself, because it showed my siblings like they won't say it, but I think that they kind of saw a lot of that courage from me and I think that it did shape them a bit in a way. Uh, cause there's there's some intensity in a lot of aspects of my family, but, um, just staying strong in my values, I think, made all the difference in the world.
Speaker 4:You're doing a great job. Thank you Seriously. Okay, all right, that's a segment of our introduction. Okay, um, we're going to take a break when you do that, guys. Popcorn, soda, gatorade, powerade what drink were you drinking?
Speaker 5:Oh, I had a NoCo. I had a NoCo. A NoCo BCAA. It's a natural. It's a natural energy drink. It's got 200 milligrams of caffeine, but it's sugar-free and naturally flavored. Lots of vitamins, delicious Even think about getting that before we come back to the show okay.
Speaker 4:All right. So now my question for all of you is this Given the fact that we have a teacher, a musical I'm just going to call you musical producer, because I can't think of any other name and we have a botanical garden gardener, and we have someone who's now becoming an educator, as speaking as a minority, you know, each one of you represent a specific minority, as a whole and individually. What is the one thing that you are so proud of bringing in terms of the message? Those minorities that deserve to be seen and heard? I want to. I want for you guys to share to the audience why and how you contributed and how they also can contribute outside of creative projects too.
Speaker 3:Um, so I think what you're saying is that, even though we may look different, and we come from different backgrounds and different places, we're able to share so many things.
Speaker 3:Love is universal. Acceptance and understanding can be universal if we allow it to be. Um, I don't. I think we all came from such different places but yet we clicked immediately. And it's not always like that, especially. I mean, I've sung in a lot of bands and a lot of times they don't all get along and they butt heads and it's you know, everybody, every man for himself. But this cast and crew, like literally everybody was here for each other. Everybody was just so accepting and loving from day one, before we even met each other, and I think there's no reason why the world can't be like that If we just let go of our own stupid selfish pride and whatever like, and just let people live their lives, you know. So I think, I think there's an important thing to be said for just, you know, let people be people, and you do you, I'll do me, but we can get along while we're doing that.
Speaker 4:Yeah, I actually want to. You just said something that made me remember. I wanted to say to liam, so you mentioned that, uh, visibility. Family is not always bound by blood. The way you guys have described that can also be a family where you are able to feel the fullest of who you are. That's all I wanted to say. It's not a question, but I appreciate you passing the microphone.
Speaker 6:Let's give a applause for Jason for helping out with the microphone. Come on now.
Speaker 4:Superman. That's what Superman. Okay, go ahead.
Speaker 5:Cece. Yeah, um, I mean I'm, so I'm really passionate about this subject and I'm I'm going to try and keep it concise, but no, no, no, no no. Don't keep it concise, I'm like Dolores, who just labs off.
Speaker 5:I'm, I'm going to actually I'm going to start this off with a question. I mean I'm I'm a hispanic woman, and how many hispanic women do you see on tv every day? How many hispanic leaders do you see every day? Women, specifically, I mean most of our roles are cooking, cleaning and taking care of people, and I grew up watching that from my mom and my grandma and I never saw them be able to take care of themselves, and that's something that I had to unlearn. But also take that unconditional love and that um, just acceptance and resilience with me and be able to kind of break that cycle.
Speaker 5:And with my passion being a creative, specifically in music, I definitely want to be an example for young Hispanic girls and to be able to see them, for them to see me and for them to be like hey, I want to be like her, I can be like her because if she can do it, I could do it. Um, and that's not only from my background, um, it's also in the way I look. Um, I think there's so much pressure to look a certain way and to fit a certain mold and, um, I think, as long as a healthy body is a beautiful body, and um, because we come from all different types of backgrounds, everyone's going to look a little different. We should celebrate that we don't all have to look the same. Um, and just just being, just being an example, just kind of exactly what Liam was saying being visible and being your truest, most authentic self, because that is what inspires other people to do the same, um, so yeah, I mean I could, I could talk about it for forever, but you didn't talk forever.
Speaker 4:I didn't feel like that was enough, but those are.
Speaker 6:I'm happy with the answer. We're going to go back to your minority topic Okay.
Speaker 2:Your turn, jason. Yes, okay. So for me I'm just again, I think it's, I think it's just the visibility matters. I'm. I don't want to be up on a platform or put up on a. I don't want to be put on a platform, but I understand that when I step out of my door, like people are going to see this, so I understand that, like that's what people see, so they will treat me a certain way.
Speaker 2:Certain things might happen differently to me than it might to other people at this table, but I think it's really important that people just are themselves, because I have been told for most of my life that I am not black enough, and that is something that really is hurtful, because I don't have another choice, like I'm going to be black, no matter what I do, no matter where I go. And so these are people on both sides who are black, people who are not black, who tell me that I'm not black enough. It's like trust me, when the police see me, I'm black enough. Okay. When the media sees me, I'm black enough. Okay. When the media sees me, I'm black enough. And so I think that it is so important for people to check themselves whenever they say that and really think about what they mean when they say that Because I was raised that I am going to walk through life like this. Be aware of it, but do not let it hold you back.
Speaker 2:So in my other life, working at a botanical garden, I've been to conservation conferences, and out of hundreds of people, there were two of us there, you know. So for me, a big platform is just talking about the environment. The environment is for everyone, but there's these stereotypes that, like black people don't swim, we don't go outside. There's insects out there. I love being outside. I love it. I love it. I love being outside doing yard work. My neighbors will tell you, I am out there just sweating it out. I love the outdoors.
Speaker 2:And so I don't want to be held back from those spaces because I look like this. That's stupid, I think that's so stupid and so even when it comes to art, it's like I appreciate that I can just be like. The script doesn't bring up that Roger's African American, but I happen to be African American.
Speaker 2:I think that's the best way to introduce these topics and diversity is just have people represented on camera, just doing their things, loving how they love and not having to comment on who they are, because, again, people who need to see it will see it. They will see that.
Speaker 2:Roger is this, they will see that. Liam is this. They'll see that Cece is that. Like they know, they see the people who need to see it will pick up on it without having to explicitly say it. So I think it's good. I think it's good art. I think it's good. I think it's good art. I think it's good art when you just have people represented.
Speaker 4:They're here, literally here at the table, and you don't have to say it, you don't have to verbalize it. You know, visibility like uh, every societal change that we have seen in our lifetime and before our lifetimes always comes with seeing what happens. First, it has to, uh, somebody out there has to be the first one to take the step. And you know, usually when they take the first step, when the crowd sees that, when they see it's so visible, now they will want to follow because they believe, because that person is showing what they are, what they also believe in. And what becomes from one person? It also becomes a crowd, and from a crowd it becomes like a collective, and from a collective it becomes like Thanos' army that is about to fight and make a societal change which I think is so important and especially touching back on the minority. I hate this microphone keeps. I think it's because the, the things that you guys are saying are so fire that.
Speaker 4:I just want to stay away. You see, it keeps doing this. But, going back, jokes aside, I love the man, um, the fact that you talked about visibility, but also the minority. It's so sad enough to see the, the people that, especially the color of her skin and the ethnicity that we have to live with being being the ones that are responsible to show that it can't be different, because sometimes it's hard enough when we see our family members not know and not see that that's not all they can be. They can be more than just that and at the end of the day, just like what all flowers and plants do, we all, uh, are reduced into nothing more than soil and things that will help the earth when we die. It doesn't matter if we're black, white, any other color out there, okay, it doesn't matter if we're black, white, any other color out there, it doesn't matter, because when we die, we become bones and we all return our bodies to the earth. What matters is how we leave it behind. Anyways, that's what I want to touch on.
Speaker 4:You two mentioned something that I really love. What you just said, anyways, your turn.
Speaker 4:Lee.
Speaker 1:I touched a good bit on it earlier, but, as previously mentioned, visibility, visibility, vulnerability I think that is the strongest thing that you can do as an artist, as a person, as a human being in general being most authentically you and being honest about that, because your most authentic form, your most authentic unaltered form, is going to touch someone.
Speaker 1:Um, and having a platform. Like Jason said, like you don't, you don't always want to have a platform, but you need to recognize that the power that you, existing as yourself, is and that is a platform in itself Um, it, it really changes lives. Had there been more representation, visible when I was growing up, I think that I would have saved myself a lot of trauma, I would have saved myself a lot of anxiety, I would have saved myself a lot of suicidal thoughts, which is why the things that we do now are so important to other members of our community, because it's not just you, you're not just alone, and it makes it so much easier when you can see that can we give a round of applause for each of the guests here?
Speaker 4:am I the only one? Oh my goodness yo, I'm working with a tough crowd apparently. Oh my goodness, um, we're gonna take five here. I I'm going to double check everything, but, guys, you did great and when we come back we're going to go dive into the film itself. You all did fantastic. Now, class dismissed. Go get some water. Come back when the bell rings. Thank you, hi guys. Kino here Just wanted to take a second to say thank you so much to each and every of all of the creatives that have appeared on the show.
Speaker 4:If you enjoy deep conversations like this, make sure to hit like and subscribe on YouTube, and if you're listening on a podcast platform like Spotify, make sure you follow that so you won't be out of the loop for every month, because I try to drop at least two episodes. So grab your popcorn and soda and let's get back to our conversation. We're now going to dive into the actual film itself, but before we do that, I'd love to get you guys to have some of the socials so you can keep up with their journey as well. So let's start with from the left all the way to the right.
Speaker 3:My name is Michelle Edge. I guess we'll go. Instagram is at and this is all one word. Meg Chicksinger, m-e-g and then chick and then singer altogether would be my main thing. Um, you can find me on Facebook. Michelle Fiona diva shell there's a long and storied history behind that name. Uh, so it's a few of my nicknames just kind of crammed together. Most people call me diva, my cup here. We'll let you guys know that. I'm not sure why, cause I'm so shy and retiring, but but yeah, those will be my, my main socials, I guess.
Speaker 5:My Instagram is. The handle is at the violent orchid we can actually, we can actually get into it, cause we were connected in that way and I'm really only active on Instagram. I have a website in the works, but you can find me on spotify, apple music soundcloud under the same name, um, and then my artist name is just my first name, d'andra d-y-a-n-d-r-a, so please listen to the music, um, and there's definitely more music coming, so oh, look at that, mine's simple.
Speaker 2:You can find me on Instagram and Facebook at my full name. That's not it. It's at Jason Jamal Ligon.
Speaker 1:Period. So you can find me on Instagram and Snapchat at Leems Beans. That is L-E-E-M-S-B-E-E-N-S. On my Facebook is Liam M Gardner. I don't have Twitter. Slash X.
Speaker 4:It was bad for my mental health and also our esteemed director, william Medlec. I noticed that you changed your username from Swagmasterbox5000 something. It is now the William Mecklinson. I have speech impediment. Speech impediment, guys. Yeah, go on, come here, come here, just come in here. Oh guys, look at that, he's making an appearance. All right, I guess.
Speaker 7:I'm making an appearance. Come on, big cheese. Hi, my name is Will. I am the stage mom of all of these amazing, incredible people. I've been behind the camera the entire time. I did change my Instagram name from swagmasterboxtop5000. I realized, okay, I need to make it a little bit more professional, a little bit, but still keep it unhinged. So my name is Willard. Will A-R-D Metlock, m-e-t-t-l-a-c-h-s-o-n. It's the same on all my platforms. I'm on TikTok, on all the things for all the Gen Z and Alphas and ish. And yeah, you can also follow the journey of Smoke Breaks at Smoke Breaks Film on Instagram as well. Period.
Speaker 4:Bam, come on on round of applause for him. Well, yes, yes, okay. And also the bts is hannah gregory.
Speaker 6:Come on, hannah, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on bring it in.
Speaker 4:Okay, microphone, who's doing that? Thank you, so so much.
Speaker 3:Hello, my name is Hannah Day Gregory.
Speaker 1:H Gregory Photography Great photographer Hire her for services.
Speaker 5:You better check out her work at Sittnick.
Speaker 6:Very warm store chief, by the way, that's a compliment, that's a compliment.
Speaker 3:In case you want to see it. Yes, girl.
Speaker 4:All right, guys, I don't know what chapter we're in, but I'll just call it chapter two. We are now going into the um. Uh, what's the best title? Uh, we're just gonna go to the film, okay, but we're focusing on the characters. Now buckle your seats, because this shit is about to go wild. Okay, here we go. Question number one it's for you, lamb. Okay, are you? Are you ready? Allegedly, your support for the Okra Project focuses on the nourishing and supporting the black trans individuals. How did this activism influence your portrayal of a trans character facing personal challenges in the film, particularly around themes of intimacy and identity?
Speaker 1:So the Okra Project has resonated very deeply with me since the day I first learned about them. As you said, it's black trans mutual aid, specifically in regards to feeding black trans people, making sure that they're getting good, nourishing meals, because it is the most difficult part of the community to be in is to be a black trans person, specifically a black trans woman. I love, love, love what the okra project stands for. Um, and the most important thing to me is mutual aid and supporting your community. So what I took from you know what they stand for and how I integrated that into this performance is just the taking care of one another. It, the community is, is what has kept me alive. Community is what keeps me me alive, community is what keeps me going, and community is a big part of this film. Uh, community and connection and caretaking.
Speaker 4:So I kind of took that message and wove it into my intentions as a performer how are you going to, how do you see yourself, uh, implementing that invention when you do have a family? Because, guys, we don't stay as kids. We eventually turn into adults and eventually we have to pass on that legacy. So how would you want to build your community around your family in the future, if you, so to do, choose to follow that decision? How would you want to build that kind of community and foster that environment for, for the kids that you eventually want to have?
Speaker 1:Whether it be biological or chosen, I think that one of the most important things that you can do is bring people together. Have a reason to bring people together. Like I love cooking for people, it's something that I enjoy doing In college. I lived at one point I lived with seven other roommates in college with a very large house. Wow, all theater, kids at that Girl it was never boring.
Speaker 3:We could do a whole podcast on that.
Speaker 1:But one of my favorite things that we would do is everyone would get together and we would cook something, and I find that there's a lot of intention that you can put into a meal that really translates into inner warmth that exudes outward whenever you share that with someone.
Speaker 1:So even if it's something as simple as cooking a great meal for family members, I think that's a great way to foster community, to foster deepening connections and to just bring people together, because we're rapidly approaching a time in which isolation is becoming the norm and I think that isolation is contributing to a lot of mental decline and the most important thing that you can do is see the people that you love and have those shared experiences together. So just bringing people together. Everybody wants a good meal, everybody wants a good meal. So let's eat, let's gab, let's share the love. That's, that's what I want to do with my family okay.
Speaker 4:And then the last thing is what is the one mistake that you want to avoid by, uh, make it the same mistakes that everybody else has been doing? And when it comes to, um, bringing awareness to the community that we all, uh, come from? Now, how do we do that for the kids that you want to, to make sure that they're growing up in a life where there's no sense of confusion as far as who they are and who they want to be?
Speaker 1:I think that one of the most important things that I have learned is eliminating projections. I think projecting your ideals, your assumptions, what you want, onto another person is one of the most dangerous things that you can do. Um, it's so damaging. Um, they say, assuming makes an ass out of you and me. Um, and projections come along with a lot of assumptions, and I think that it's so dangerous like you need to be acting like this. I expect you to be acting like this. I expect you to be feeling like this. It's so damaging. Um, it's something that I catch myself doing every day, whether it be in my relationship with my friends, with my family members. You need to drop the projections, drop the expectations and embrace the authenticity that is being portrayed, because the most dangerous thing that you can do is expect something from someone because, that's how you think it should be.
Speaker 4:That's not the reality I love, love what you just said. Now when it comes to each one of you guys. So you said, uh, about how, like projection? Now let's acknowledge some of the things that we already have stated here. You have trouble with, uh, the kids and making sure that you don't want to.
Speaker 4:I don't know how to phrase it, but like you're trying to balance between projecting what you think they should be exposed to without coming off as someone that is already pushing too much on the kids, especially when they're growing up as a student, music and also the minority. As a Hispanic woman, based on what you said, where, yeah, I saw my grandma and my mom and all of your family generation, all of that living the certain way that you know for sure that they can be more than just that, that's a projection by itself. As a black person, all of this culture that is just so toxic and unhealthy, and even with the political authority figures as well as the police, all of that, that that is also a projection that has been put into the community that you are part of. That is so unfair and should not have been that way and should not be in the future, and same way with you, especially with transitioning into a different type of person where a lot of people have a hard time understanding.
Speaker 3:So how did each and one of you contribute to smoke breaks? Or you should be that way, or whatever, based on, maybe, your growing up background, or maybe based on your I don't know your political affiliations, or whatever. And, like you said, as a teacher it's I never want to look at a kid and think there's not potential. I never want to look at a kid and think there's not potential. I never want to look at them.
Speaker 3:And and even if they're underperforming as a student, you know, academically. There's potential for something there, so I never want to discourage whatever's going on. Um, so I try to. I try to treat everyone as equally as possible and even though that's a treacherous way to say things, you know, because it's not pie right and we're not all entitled to a share of whatever. Um, I I try to extend that into just the human world too and not put my expectations on people and I really.
Speaker 3:Sometimes it's a struggle to just see people how they are and to just love them where they're at, but that, I think that's what we sort of have to work at is just love people where they are and not where I want them to be or where I think they should be, and and the thing is, is everybody's struggling with things that we don't necessarily know about?
Speaker 3:you know, like I don't bring it all into the classroom, I got stuff going on at home that I just leave there. I don't bring it in, and I know they do too, and especially as teenagers like it's hard enough to be a teenager on a regular quote, unquote level without any of the extra stuff going on.
Speaker 3:And so I think, um, I think in our society, because we have all these platforms and because we have all these socials and et cetera, maybe we are a little bit more able to visualize differences and to see sort of beyond our own world. That doesn't necessarily mean we're going to accept or we're going to understand, but I think, like you keep saying, everybody keeps saying visibility is really helpful and at least seeing outside your own little box. So am I always good at not projecting on people? Absolutely not, because I think we all have to, we all. It's so easy, yes, to look at somebody else and say, oh, I would never. But then I have to think, well, I don't know if I would ever, because that's not happening to me or maybe that's never going to happen to me.
Speaker 3:You know, like you said, all of our experiences as human beings are just different, because they just are. But that's what we have to work on is kind of just meeting people where they are and working together.
Speaker 4:And how did you do that with your character and especially the interaction between you and Liam's character?
Speaker 3:Sure, sure, especially the interaction between you and liam's character, sure, sure so? Um, acting sometimes is reaching beyond yourself and playing a different character and being able to be somebody else. But also method acting means that you take on that character, that or maybe you already are that person and so, like I've said before, dolores is already in me, so I was already the Michelle Visage right. So it was very easy just to. I mean, I'm not quite as old as Dolores, probably, and I'm not from New York, but it was very easy just to be like, oh, sweetie, baby darling, I got you, you know, and it was, that was just, it was so natural, like I never even met Liam, but I was like I love you so much.
Speaker 3:Just, it was so natural, like I never even met liam and but I was like I love you so much and you know. So that's I. I don't think I put all that thought into it ahead of time, really, but I think the more I'm sitting here talking about it, the more I'm like you know, we just have to. We interact with so many people on a daily basis and you're not going to treat everybody the same way, but you know, maybe if you're just kind to people, that goes a long way I think, uh, with my character, cc, um, it it really, I think, boils down to just authenticity.
Speaker 5:Okay, um, I believe when you are fully authentically yourself, it invites others to do the same thing, um, and some people aren't going to understand that or be comfortable with that. It's going to trigger some people, um, because they they simply don't understand. They've never been introduced to something like that before, um, but it it opens up the conversation and um, we're all human beings. We are no, no one is perfect. We make mistakes every day, um, and we all have our own insecurities. So I think projecting is a part of the human experience.
Speaker 5:But when you're able to uh tap into your emotional intelligence and kind of reel it back and be like, hey, maybe I need to just realign my thoughts, my behaviors and be more accepting, or maybe you're nice and meditated and ready to go and you're a safe space, so it comes in waves. But I think with Leon and Cece, there is so much more to the story than what we see in smoke breaks. Leon and sissy, specifically, um, have a long, lasting friendship, um, and I think it's it's well versed and very apparent um in the 12 minutes that smoke break is so yeah, well, what do you?
Speaker 4:I wanted to acknowledge, if you guys watched the previous episode with william, william did mention that the idea of smoke space invent uh, it all boiled down to the experience that I think it was the sister correct. Uh, the smoke breaks that inspired the title.
Speaker 7:So the story, like part of the name, smoke breaks right is, I was very much inspired by the conversations that my sister would have with her clients and the conversations that she would have with her coworkers, right, because there was something weirdly romantic over these life-changing conversations, over something that could inherently kill you, and I thought there was, there was some kind of magic there and, courtney, if you're watching this, like my sister, all like these conversations that she would have with, like her gay besties and her, you know, like you know with her coworkers and her clients, like she would get told oh my God, I'm getting married.
Speaker 7:Or oh my God, I'm having, you know, a kid. Or oh my God, this, I got this huge promotion Right. There was something about having that conversation over a cigarette, because it's anybody who's like a cigarette smoker or anything like that. They know these types of conversations where it's just this conversational bridge, and I think it's something that can kind of be replicated through coffee. I think it's something that can be replicated through getting a drink with your friends, just having that external thing be the bridge of these conversations.
Speaker 7:That's something that I wanted to replicate in the conversations between cc and leon and I think that d'andra and liam really replicated that conversation really really well.
Speaker 7:I mean, I mean, anybody who watches the film, they can really see how impactful their performance is. It's incredible the talent that these actors have. It's, it's, you know, insurmountable really. And I think that everything that I had in my head with the conversations I saw with my sister and her coworkers, it showed on screen A lot like Cece, even though my sister isn't a Latina or a you know, she is an Italian, an Italian American woman.
Speaker 7:And a lot of Cece, a lot of my own sister, is brought into the character of Cece. I want you to meet her so much. She's laying out Cause and so, yeah, that's really what inspired the title of Smoke Breaks, because there's something weirdly intimate over having those conversations over a smoke break.
Speaker 2:What was the word? It was a projection, projecting. So I'm going to. I'm going to maybe comment on a different angle of it. So when I think of projecting, I'm thinking of the technique of acting multiple techniques out there but, um, whenever I approach a scene, when I'm acting, I've been trained to not project how the scene will go so it's like oh, this is.
Speaker 2:I read this, so it's like, okay, so by this point I need to be happy, I need to be excited about it. It's like you don't always know that's how it's going to go, um, and so I feel like for me, as a person, not trying to project how the character is going to feel at a certain point in time in the script is important. So whenever we hear action, it's like how you're feeling in that moment. All of our lived experiences have brought us to that moment. So, as we were saying before, it's like yes, I'm this, yes, I'm that, yes, I'm that.
Speaker 2:African-american work in conservation, all this stuff Nobody cares about all that stuff, but it does influence how I arrive to that moment in time, and so I think that it's project the. When I hear how do I not project? It's really about those moments in time. Okay, I'm on camera, I don't care, it's like I'm we would do it in the bed scene. First thing, it's like you wake up in the morning. How do I feel in the morning? Rough you know what I'm saying?
Speaker 2:it's like you're thinking of so many things when you first wake up. I don't know about other people, but I'm already thinking of hundreds of things before I rolled to that side of the bed.
Speaker 2:And so it's like I feel, like you, I don't have to project. I'm working to like, not project how the scene will go, how exactly I'm going to feel, because it's going to be different take to take all of that. And so I think that that's important to create. That authenticity, as we've said, is just being in the moment and that lived experience at that point in time when it's time for that take.
Speaker 4:I think is really important to help capture that magic I did see that you had a lot of experience in stand-up comedy a lot and so and so, with the projection thing.
Speaker 4:Going back to this universal statement, laughter is often the medicine to most of our pains. So with stand-up comedy, you also mentioned that word by word. Comedy taught you that the world has a space for your big ideas when you surround yourself with the right people. Now, when you think about that, how did that help you balance between comedy and also while making sure that you're taking great care of the serious undertones throughout this entire film, especially the dynamic between your character and Leon's character? How did you balance between comedy while making sure that it doesn't come off as offensive?
Speaker 2:yes, okay, so fact checked so again the internet is full of wonderful things and deep research, so I've done comedy. I've thought about doing comedy for a long time I did stand up once so far I'm scheduled to do it again. I'm scheduled to do it again. So I have lots of friends who are comics in Atlanta and it's a great scene and I am learning. I'm crafting all of that, but I've had a running note in my phone, for I think it's six years that I saw.
Speaker 2:I'm just like when I think things are funny, I write them down and I giggle to myself, and so I just went back to that note whenever I was working on that first stand-up routine and I think lots of things are funny.
Speaker 2:On the drive here it's like, oh, that's, that's cute. Let me write that down. I'll use that later, but you're writing during the film last night. Yes, it's like little things, it's tiny little things and again, I think they're funny. But I it also helps of life is hard, life is dramatic, all of that. But I love the to find the comedy in life, like certain things are just really funny, like oh, I'm straddling a leg of a table over here. I think that's cute, nobody knows, nobody knows, you know, but it's like I think that's, I don't know, that's a funny moment to make something more serious, a little light-hearted, um, and so I think, as it relates to the film though, I think it's important to also find the real life moments. There are a lot of times when it's like things are funny, things are not planned, they're not dramatic all of that, and so bringing in those comedic moments into different scenes, it's what happened, it's what organically happens in that moment, as I was saying earlier, it's like just don't forget about the training.
Speaker 2:It's like, no, this is hilarious to happens in that moment. As I was saying earlier, it's like just don't forget about the training. And it's like, no, this is hilarious to me in this moment. It reminds me of a computer scene no spoilers. But there's a computer scene with roger and I was like in the moment I was like this is, this is what I would do, and so I went for it. I made a choice. It made the final cut. You'll have to see the film, but I think that that got more than a giggle from the audience, because I think it was one of those lived-in moments of what would you do in that situation.
Speaker 2:You'll have to watch to find out. Love the answer love the answer.
Speaker 4:And also, since we're on the topic of your character and also leon's character, there's this section in the film where, um, it was my own interpretation of it, but when the idea after, after, um, the andrew's carry, okay, great, uh, her character. When you, when leon's character and your character, uh, were talking about the struggle of the relationship where it became so stale and then you ended up having to depend on the card, the tarot card. Reading the part that hit me in the end, I was like what the fuck? That's not how I thought it would end, which was, yes, your relationship will be clarified by a third person. When it ended the way I, I was like holy shit, that was a good william, you did good, that was good.
Speaker 4:So the reason why I'm asking is this um, so would roger and lean's character? If we talk, if we look, uh, if we watch the film, there's this immediate change where, when you brought up so, um, how do you feel about open relationships? And then your character, for some reason, had this like change and how he, how roger, saw leon. What I found interesting about that is, if we look at the modern dynamics of, in today's relationships, open relationships often really hard to navigate, and so how did that change in the script and how you acted that out? How did that influence and shape your thinking and outlook on the idea of open relationships?
Speaker 2:Yes, so I think that this was, uh, that, that the way that Roger reacted to all of that is different than how I have reacted in the past with a specific relationship. When it comes to open relationships, context very different, but still my reaction to the possibility of opening up a relationship personally is very different than Roger's. Since then, growth has happened, talks have happened, all of that stuff.
Speaker 2:But I think what I appreciate the writing of this film and any good work of art, because it challenges the artist as well to challenge thinking, perspectives, all of that, and so I appreciate having to take a deep dive and go back to that place and think about that relationship and the idea of open relationships. And for Roger and Leon's characters in that moment I thought it was so important You're seeing an older, more mature Jason in that Roger that you see and allowing that to be a possibility. And I think, as you said before, it's the projection. I think there is that idea of how Leon thinks or perceives Roger will react to bringing up this possibility but then in the moment, that character, the significant other, roger, is accepting of it and I think that that is a, if it's brought up properly, the idea of an open relationship can be an option.
Speaker 2:And I think that that is a beautiful moment. That I was able to realize on film is that that is a possibility, and I think it also just shows that if you see the film, it can create more intimacy in a relationship if you're able to speak more openly about those tough subjects going back.
Speaker 4:If you watch the episode william um and hit record, one of the favorite things I love what he said about in that episode is conversations. Not only did it happen in pre-production, where william had multiple hard conversations with the producer and the director and dp uh, shout out to you calipe films, Chris and Sierra what I love about that and it connects to what you just said conversations. If we just open up about what we really want, it will just make things so much easier. But instead we're here playing mind games. We're not. We're not Professor X here. Okay, we have to use words. That's much beyond that.
Speaker 1:Your turn. Okay, we have to use words, but that's much beyond that your turn lean. So I've had a couple of experiences with um, changing the boundaries in a way in some of my major relationships. Um, it's something that, if you ask me, like, similarly to jason, if you asked me years ago, like open relationships, I would have said absolutely not, um, but there's a lot more nuance to it than I think that people recognize. At the time when we were filming this, I was in a blooming relationship with someone and, interestingly enough, between then and now, we have had our own conversation of that sort and this film actually had a lot to do with how we had that or how I responded to that conversation.
Speaker 1:Um, and, honestly, projections, bringing it back up has a lot to do with navigating that. Um, because you know it's, it can be easy to to take it personal and to think, oh, I'm not satisfying needs, needs, there's something that I'm lacking. But you kind of need to think beyond that and think, no, there's, there's a lot more gray here than there is black and white. Like I got you, you got me. There's a lot of love here, but that's also something that we can potentially share with other people, um, so yeah, but uh, in terms of this film, I think that leon had an abundance of anxiety, specifically coming from a trans perspective as well, because it is very different, um moving through an open relationship through the lens of a trans person trans queer at that, um than just a queer person.
Speaker 1:Um, there's a lot of fetishization when you're trans. There's a lot of oh, this is, this is so fun and exciting. Just just two days ago, someone um slid up on my boyfriend's snapchat story and was like oh, is your boyfriend trans? And he responded and said yes, and the person said that's hot, girl. I don't even know you. I don't even know you. The first thing you said the response is being trans is that's hot, very weird.
Speaker 4:So, like, those types of experiences were things that I was thinking about whenever I was going into this performance because it's not as easy in this community when you are built different in that film your character had this huge personality and the way they talk and the way they basically interact with your characters, how did you do your best to portray the best? How did you draw from your life experiences into portraying that specific character to the best capability that you could give? And that's one scene during the I think barbershop scene. Go ahead.
Speaker 3:It was Leon's beauty salon scene I stand corrected. I apologize, go ahead uh dolores is a big character with a big personality and luckily they put her in some big hair to help personify that um. I kind of felt like dolly parton, to be quite honest.
Speaker 3:So truth be told that informs dolores a whole, whole, whole lot, because you know, dolly's this larger than life but everyone loves her kind of personality and so being able to just draw on that as well as, like I said, just the very gay mother thing I already got going on like it was no big deal at all, just to be like, oh, I'm going to see my gay hairdresser today, because of course I am, and that's just what I do, and why wouldn't I?
Speaker 4:How did you draw from specific life experiences that helped you be able to create that specific way of interacting with his character?
Speaker 3:Well, like I said, I've been around the community for so long and it's. I mean it's not, it wasn't acting, it was literally just like I'm going community for so long and it's. I mean it's not, it wasn't acting, it was literally just like I'm going to see my friend and you know there's all the love. Hey, baby, I'm doing this and that and see you later you know, so it was. I didn't have to reach very far for Dolores to be quite honest, and I'm okay with that.
Speaker 4:What I first of all, congratulations on being on the acting scene. Thank you Oftentimes when we're stepping into something uncomfortable. Yeah, it's painful, scary, but you know what we grow, absolutely.
Speaker 1:And that's the most important thing.
Speaker 4:So how did you, being that as your first experience as an actress, how did you portray that? By drawing from life experiences and making sure that it's accurate enough, especially when you're representing someone that's from a specific community, that all of you have done all of you have done a great job of representing your characters to make sure that it reflects almost the same way that your community will think, if that makes sense, so, as with your character, what your interactions during the smoke breaks. How did you draw from that, with your life experiences and portraying that character?
Speaker 5:Yeah, yeah, um, ironically enough, I've I've had real life conversations with my gay bestie, just like CC and Leon had on screen. Um, obviously the circumstances were different and it's a little more complicated in the film, um, but I've, I've had those really raw, um vulnerable conversations of of like, hey, I'm, I'm going through a rough patch, I really love this person, but I don't really know what to do, because I know I have to love myself and I was kind of having to be the voice of reason and the voice of reminding um, you know, you, you do have to love yourself and you do have to do what's best for you, um, but let's look at the bigger picture together and, um, I kind of what Michelle said I don't feel like I had to dig too deep to uh, bring CC to life, because I connected to her in so many ways right off the bat, um, one of those being the conversations, another one being the tarot cards.
Speaker 5:Um, I'm a very spiritual individual. Um, I actually do read tarot cards, um, and it was just, it was just easy, you know it was, it was simple, and I I want to say that I think what makes smoke breaks so special is that every single one of us relate to our character so deeply because we've been through the hardships and the pain and the sorrow and the mourning and the grief that is portrayed in the characters and we were all kind of able to pull from that from our past and transform it and alchemize it into the art that we see in smoke breaks um.
Speaker 5:I truly believe that's what makes this film so special so there I'll start with dolores's character.
Speaker 1:There has always in my life. I've always been a mama's boy always been a mama's boy, in any aspect of the word.
Speaker 1:I love meeting a mom I love, I love my mother. Figures, um, there's always been. Whether it be a teacher, a peer, a colleague, there has always been some type of maternal figure in my life and to me, dolores was that maternal figure that we, we have this genuine bond and rapport. Um, you might not be blood, but like we're family, we go way back, it's easy. I can be myself with you, I can be vulnerable with you, um, and it's just a genuine loving, caring, maternal, like relationship. Um, so I didn't have to reach very far for that, because I there's always some type of divine feminine in my life that that I share some deep connection with um and that's similarly to how I feel with cc's character.
Speaker 1:Um, I would be nothing if it weren't for my girls. Like, there's like a strong, like three female presenting people in my life who are my rock. I go to them with everything. A lot of them actually do read tarot as well. There's been so many times where I've hit up one of my girls and been like a diva is down, I need to unpack. I'm going through a rough patch and they're like oh, dude, do you want a reading? Do you want? Yeah, yeah, I always want a reading. So again, yeah, yeah, I always want a reading. Um. So again, I just didn't have to reach very far and I feel so lucky to have been acting alongside these two people because we we really didn't know each other before this and we just moseyed onto set and had such a genuine connection. And again, it's not like we had to reach very far, um, because it just felt like we were translating our lived experiences on screen with ease.
Speaker 4:Well, actually, okay. So we now have a couple of themes Projection, the minority, and then also now the relatability, because that's ultimately what it comes down to. You all relate, so I'm going to curse now so fucking much to these characters, and now, actually, I want to jason's character into the mix, okay. So, um, related relatability, there's a lot of things that you guys did a great job, um, in expressing and making sure that these, the dynamics, relationship dynamics which, in both of your characters, were accurate enough.
Speaker 4:Now, especially with the loss of interest and one other one in your partner, is almost going to be something that happens no matter what. And so when we look back on our past relationships, sometimes we it's like there's this sense of shame, the sense of um, embarrassment, shame and oftentimes guilt that when we start to lose interest at the other person, did we do something wrong? Are we, are we being a bad person? Are we, especially in the community that you're representing? How did you navigate through the overwhelming sense of messages that you hear from in real life and also in your character, when it comes to navigating the um, making sure that the relationship between your characters are healthy?
Speaker 2:Yeah, let's talk about, talk about Roger's journey. Yes, I feel like Roger's journey, from my point of view, is that he's realizing that his partner could not fulfill all of his needs. And is it cheating, is it bad for the relationship if you fulfill part of that relationship from a computer monitor, from another person who walks by on the street? I think that's the point at which the audience catches Roger in this journey, in this story. What got them there? What happened the morning before? All that stuff? I think it's interesting. We need to hear some more. We need to hear more from Will about where this story came from. Okay, we're bringing in.
Speaker 2:Will, let's go. So, yeah, I think that's where for this short people will catch Roger. It's at that point in time of like ugh, and you can see it, I was feeling it of like should I feel ashamed about what happened Should. I feel ashamed about opening up relationship and I think that it is active. It's like you are the point the earth has not been formed yet. It's like it's being formed and I think that roger's world is shifting in the scenes that we see him in with leon and no more how.
Speaker 4:What were your thoughts on what he just said? Because sometimes I love what you said. It happens so often. It's that, um, when we start to look for other influences to satisfy our especially our sexual needs, well, we're done like it's right there. You are now actively making the choice. Whether you acknowledge that or not, it's a subconscious and a conscious choice to actively look for other sources, uh, and sources to make it feel complete and satisfied, not from the other person. So how did, how do you feel about that when you wrote that script?
Speaker 1:it's funny that you brought up that specific point that jason made, because that's what I was going to echo um I think that, and not everyone feels this way, but to me it actually is quite selfish to expect one person to meet all of your expectations and to supply the solutions to all of your needs as a person.
Speaker 1:Because, while your partner is your partner and that is your person like I can speak from personal experience like my person is my person and I feel deeply about that and I'm very certain about that. As much as I love him and as much as he loves me, there's parts that we're not always going to be able to support about each other, and that is OK. I think that there is a lot of reframing mindsets that we have to do around partner satisfaction and you know you can think that I'm hot and sexy and you can meet a large portion of my needs, but you know you can also see somebody down the street and think they're hot and sexy. We can both think that they're hot and sexy, Share something together, really access new layers to our relationship that you didn't think were possible. It's not always with malicious intent, is the thing. I think it's actually quite selfless to recognize that there is more to you than than me and what we share yeah, relationships are like um, they're like crossword puzzles and they're like um, those square.
Speaker 4:You have to draw a pencil, only to find out shit. There is no exit. So what do you do? You go back out and try to fix everything to make sure you find a way out. You create your own way out so that it's all so goddamn hard to navigate. So now we will now focus on the group itself. Looking back on the entire production itself, what were some of the ways that you guys especially I keep hearing this theme where, yeah, I didn't know them, but you know what we, the besties. Now, if we look back on the entire production itself, how did each and one of you work together to make sure that the chemistry that you showed on screen and also behind the scenes? What did you all do to make that possible?
Speaker 1:let's start from right to left.
Speaker 1:We're gonna keep revisiting themes that we revisited I think that we all just showed up as ourselves, um, like I don't know, like the expectations weren't higher, excruciating. It was okay, we've had minimal amount of rehearsal time, um, and it was remote rehearsal time at that. I kind of have the vibe for, like, what's going on? But like, let's meet in person, let's, let's gab it out and see where, where our middle ground is. Like we, we went through intimacy training together and you, I, I don't know I think from an outsider's perspective, you would have watched that film and would have thought that we had been training for an extended period of time. But no, we, just we.
Speaker 1:We did it during the days of shooting, which shout out to sierra, you were a phenomenal intimacy coordinator. Shout out to sierra, you were a phenomenal intimacy coordinator. Shout out to Sierra. That is such an overlooked job, but it's so important. But, yeah, just showing up as our authentic selves and trusting each other. I think that trust is so important when you're creating a story and when you're doing a performance, and I think that we had such a strong level of trust, you and I, us together as well, trusting your instincts and being vulnerable.
Speaker 4:Yeah, Good answer.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I think, quickly, I'll just add to it, just framing it in a different way, is just open. So I came with like an open heart, open mind, no expectations of all. Right, I'm going to show up and this is how we'll be, and so I think that that adds a whole lot to the conversation. And I think that the other part would just be that when you, when you show up, it's like you have to put yourself aside again. It's like show up to set ready to work, and I think that it's not just on camera but it's also like behind set, in between takes. All of that being courteous and conscious of the folks in the room and all of that making sure that everybody's taken care of. That's really important. And yeah, I think that that helped.
Speaker 2:And I'll also just say like it was a luxury to be able to even have those rehearsals. So I know that like theater is a much slower process. It's a more thorough process versus for a lot of like big budget films. It's like when they watch your self-tapes or in-person auditions, like they want to see it ready to go package deal. So the fact that we did even have any virtual rehearsals was a luxury and that we were able to form that closer connection with Sierra and Chris of Calliope and that we were able to get a coffee with will like that really did create more intimacy that you typically don't have that access to on a bigger film set you know, what you said really does, uh, reveal a lot of the things that most people do not even realize.
Speaker 4:That needs to happen, especially when representing the communities, because if we don't really open up ourselves to the people that we never met before, how the hell is that gonna translate so well on the screen, which you both did a great job with, I love?
Speaker 1:that scene where you also showed the.
Speaker 4:you portrayed the awkwardness, and this because sometimes people always think about the positive things, but we don't often think about the awkwardness, the, the real-life scenarios that always happen. There's always going to be moments where it's going to be awkward, quiet, even some sense of discomfort, and you both did a great job, because we need to learn how to balance the two. Now, as you can see, a new person just appeared. We all manifested.
Speaker 7:we want to come back world to come back, yes, so, okay, like this particular question, I just really loved because and I really wanted to kind of just add my point of view because, um, a bit huge, uh, my, a huge intention that I had when directing with everybody is that really set felt like recess okay, and we, um, one thing that I learned from luca guadagnino, um, you know who's like a really famous director is that he never actually had auditions.
Speaker 7:He had conversations, right, and even though we did have auditions, there were a lot of conversations that we would have all interpersonally in regards to the backstory of these characters, and I think that, really, I think one thing that we talked about in our previous podcast was really how there is an entire life story behind the micro expressions that the characters portray, right, and there were a lot of conversations. They weren't necessarily rehearsals, but it was just simply lore behind all of these characters, and I think that helped create a lot of intimacy that we all kind of felt, not only between me and these actors, but also the actors themselves. It's just simply fully understanding the characters through and through. And that was another thing that Chris and Ciara and I had is we had just simply a lot of conversation about the characters themselves and I think that's what really helped create this really positively intimate, warm, welcoming environment.
Speaker 7:And again, the biggest thing that I said before we even greenlit the film is I said I want this set to feel like recess you know, even though, yes, it is a quote unquote job and where, you know, we all kind of got paid for it and da, da, da, da da, and there's money involved. It's really us playing pretend with our friends. It's these friends that I now have that have helped create this story, you know, and it's fun. It doesn't have to be this super big, serious thing. Obviously there is a level of seriousness, especially when it comes to intimacy, coordination, but at the same time, there can be a lightheartedness to the seriousness, and that was something that I really wanted. I wanted every single individual here to feel unconditionally loved, because that is exactly what is on in my head in the script, you know is unconditional love I wanted to portray.
Speaker 7:I wanted to convey that to my castmates and I wanted the castmates, to you know, convey that with each other and I think just having those conversations in the beginning really helped create what you kind of see on screen again the efforts that you have done, and especially recess, most work, most collaboration projects, especially passion projects.
Speaker 4:There are a lot of creators out there that, while they may have good intentions, sometimes we can come off as dismissive, especially when there's a lot of value in each, every people that we bring on the project. They have a value that will help elevate the project. But what you did by making it like like recess and making sure that they you've created a space where there are uh ideas and what couldn't make it better is always welcome.
Speaker 7:So you did a great job in that well and like, okay, you think about recess when you're in like second and third grade? Okay, whenever you are playing pretend with your friends, it's never no, no, no, no, it's not like this. Okay, a lot of it is very yes. And whatever you're playing pretend with your friends when you're in childhood, right, and when I was, yes, I wrote these characters, okay, but I very much emphasize with all of these actors, I said these characters are just as much yours as they are mine. Okay, yes, okay, I put the words on the script and everything, but you guys are embodying these characters. So, therefore, they are yours as much as they are mine. And because, again, these actors, if you see them in this film, they are incredibly talented. They are chosen for a reason.
Speaker 7:We had a ton of people audition for these roles and we had a lot of people that wanted these roles. But people audition for these roles and we had a lot of people that wanted these roles. But these individuals, they were chosen for a reason, not just because of how they said the words, but also just simply who they are as individuals. All of these individuals that you see here are just absolutely incredible people inside and out, and I think that's really important to have on a set.
Speaker 7:Okay, yes, you can have the most talented actor and the actress in the world and everything, but if you guys aren't able to translate what your guys' messages are to each other, if there's a mistranslation, there's going to be flaws there, and that was a big thing that I wanted to emphasize, just simply as a first-time director is really being able to have harsh conversations with anybody here, and because they're going to come up right and, um, I think that that simply just shows on screen a big, very a huge compliment that we've gotten on the film screening is that it all feels natural and it's because it was it really was all of these actors. They say it's very natural, we didn't have to reach very far. And, yes, they didn't have to because we did the reach the far reaching in the beginning unfortunately, guys, we are running out of time it is with heavy heart that I wish I could keep them here and talk more, but you know what we're gonna go out with?
Speaker 4:a bang on this. Yes, got 30., got 30. Yes, that's why we are. Anyways, go on. So I want to take this few minutes as an opportunity for each of you to really say what you want to say, because if you have never been given an opportunity to really speak out on things that you wish you had, I want to use that now.
Speaker 3:I want to use that now. So I just want to kind of piggyback on what Will was saying about the intimacy of the cast and how initially I was going to piggyback off of Jason with the open mindedness and the open heart we just showed up ready to work whatever. Whatever it just it is what it is and it happened and it flowed. And that was sort of where I started. But then, listening to Will, I was like I just want to give kudos to Will quite frankly all the way around because a he wrote the script before he met any of us but yet it's like he wrote the characters specifically for us. So that was some kind of kismet karma thing. But then the fact of the matter is that Will has made at least me I speak for me. I think I probably speak for everyone. Every step of the way has kept us involved, has kept us informed, has made us feel so comfortable and so much like family and so much a part of the process and just the entire time I come considering myself the mother earth kind of mama hen here. But honestly, this stage mom has literally just made us all as much a part of this as anyone. It's Dell and Emerson and will and us, and it's like we all were just one big team the whole entire time, and I think that really informed the way that we came to set and work together too, because I never felt like I didn't know what was going on. I never felt like there was any facet of it that I wasn't involved in, even though I wasn't pointing the camera or whatever. Like some kind of way.
Speaker 3:I felt like it all just synergized together, and so I just I really want to thank Will for including me, for including me and, unbeknownst to Will, I had been in this very studio not long before the audition, talking to a casting director who told me that I would never be cast in a film because of my age and how I chose to wear my hair and why did I make these choices, and my headshot was whatever. And so there was a moment in time in this very building where I was broken down and discouraged, and then to come in and audition and have Will turn right around knowing none of this and being like, oh my gosh, you're so perfect, you have to do this film. I'm like, okay, so that happened, and I just got chills even retelling the story and and so I pulled him aside one day and I said thank you for making that person to be a big fat liar. Because here we are.
Speaker 5:And so I mean I I guess I just want to just thank everyone you know for having me be a part of it. It was truly an honor and a privilege. Um, I I always learn so much when I'm on set, no matter where I'm placed. I've I've been everything from a PA who gathers the snacks, all the way to a sound engineer that's checking the levels of a microphone, um, to being the person in front of camera for because Will saw that in me, um and it it's how small or large it seems in the moment or to other people. I mean, I started my creative journey at the end of 2019. And the fact that I'm here today is crazy. So anything's possible. Follow your dreams. Um, love people. We need more love, um, and yeah, just thank you guys. Just so much gratitude. Thank you.
Speaker 2:Yes, yes, yes, yes. So shout outs to everybody yes, yes, yes and um. It's like just naming names once and for all for all these people involved, but like yes will. Yes to um, dell and emerson of the dell shore foundation. Yes to sierra hobbs and chris of calliope films. Yes to anyone who showed up for the stamp film festival to come and support us at the premiere. Um, you need, you need a moment.
Speaker 7:Sorry, yeah, I just want to emphasize, like when you guys said like yeah, um, I was talking to chris and this premiere was like the largest numbers that we've had, that like stant has really ever had. You know beyond, like the headliners, you know beyond like this. So every single year, you know, stamp brings in like a celebrity and everything where they can do a talk back and everything. But when it comes to just a film and a film premiere, that we had the largest numbers that we've had to date, you know, in regards to audience attendance.
Speaker 7:So I'm sorry when you said like thank the audience and everything like seriously thank you the audience because it's like, oh my God.
Speaker 4:That's because you guys are making a societal change. Good job, continue on of course.
Speaker 2:Of course, film and theater would be a dead media if there was no one around to watch them. So we'd have to thank everybody who sits through and listens to this podcast that ever sees this film. Yeah to the donors who make this possible. Definitely, because money turns. Thank everybody who sits through and listens to this podcast that ever sees this film. Yeah, to the donors who make this possible. Definitely, because money turns a piece of paper with words on it into a film. So definitely on that regard.
Speaker 2:So thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, and I think this is a call to action for myself as much as it is for anyone else. But it's like keep going. So keep hosting, keep photographing, keep writing, keep directing, keep singing, keep doing all of those things. Keep living, um, because the world is going to try to kill us, but it's like. But we have to keep going. So I think I really just want to end with that call to action to myself and to everyone else, to keep going, keep doing it to the best of your ability. It's like we don't know how this story ends, but we do know what today is, we do know where we are right now, and so just making the most of our time and continuing to just like write this beautiful story of life like one page at a time.
Speaker 4:Yeah, that's a beautiful thought. By the way, it's a real page turner. You know what I'm saying, no pun intended what good.
Speaker 1:Um. So I echo all the sentiments, all the gratitude that was expressed by everyone else who has spoken um. I have so much gratitude for each and every person who has consumed this, who has funded this, who has helped make this possible. Um. I think that the note I want to leave off on is keep doing what you're doing. Keep making what you're making, keep using your voice, because, god, we really need it. Um.
Speaker 1:It is an increasingly terrifying time to be a minority in this country, um. With that being said, please vote, vote. I'm gonna spike the camera on this one vote. Register to vote, not just for national elections, for your local elections, because that's where the issues are. That is your, that is where you are planted. You need to be reprimanding what is going on, um. So use your voice. We need these stories to be told. These stories could not exist without you using your voice. Trust your gut, trust, trust that artistic desire that you have. If you have any inkling, express it, share it. We need it. Um. Protect trans kids, protect trans kids, protect queer youth. Um. Free palestine, free sudan, free congo.
Speaker 4:Please speak out on the issues of injustice that are deeply embedded into our everyday life there are so many questions left unanswered, but I think there's good, there's a that's for a good reason, just like what jesus said with the story. The story is not done here. We will all cross paths here and we're still writing our own page. Just this just so happened to be a crossover episode, just like for on bojack horseman. What is this? A crossover, crossover episode, wow, but I'm trying to. What I'm trying to say is, even though this podcast is the only my, me, me you might think it's the last time we see all of us together, but that's okay. Like I said, this is just the first page. There will be a new page where we see everyone here again at this roundtable.
Speaker 4:So, did you want to say something? Yes, he did say he wanted to say something.
Speaker 7:Sorry, I'm sorry. Okay, I've said this multiple times. Maybe this won't be the last time that we're on this podcast. If you've got a check, I've got a script and I've got an entire talented cast.
Speaker 4:right here You've got to check, yes and so, that being said, you can always find our socials. It'll be in the description and please, please, please, do what they said. We cannot afford to leave the ideas and the talents that we have been given. We will be doing a disservice not only to ourselves, but to the people that are looking up to us, just like orchids. If we do not do well to take great care of them, they will die off, and when they die up there and the beauty that they have that could have been shown, it would have been this, it would have been gone. Okay, that's what I'm saying. We need to treat ourselves like plants, because we need to blossom and contribute to this world that is becoming full of divide and everything. That's all I'm saying. That's our job as a creative. Okay, anyways, I'm going on the spiel. Uh, amen, so what?
Speaker 4:amen yes, amen. That being said, um, if you are looking for the next episode, stay tuned for that and maybe, just maybe, I'll probably get on, get everything, every one of them, on a one-on-one interview, so maybe stay tuned for that, okay, uh, that is where what I said, okay. That being said, thank you so much to Chris. Chris, thank you so much for hosting the studio for this podcast to be possible. Thank you so much, and also to the Foundation, emerson, everyone at Dell Shores. You guys are doing a fantastic job. Please keep following your mission to make every message be seen and heard as much as possible. Just like what they said said, visibility is the most important thing here now for you guys. Please walk away with knowing that you are not. You are perfect in in your own way. Never, ever, let anyone make you feel out of anything, otherwise you're a fucking diamond. You need pressure to become the shine king. That makes sense. Thank you so much for watching this episode and you stay tuned for the next one. And that is pretty much it. Kino Manuel signing out, say goodbye and cut.
Speaker 4:And that's a wrap for today's episode on Hymn Record. Thank you so much for sticking with us and I do hope that today's episode was insightful and also it gave you some kind of fresh perspective in your creative journey. If you're listening on Spotify or any other podcast platform, a quick review is definitely going to help. It helps other people find us and, for those that are watching on YouTube, make sure you drop a comment down below or a question, because I would love to see what your thoughts are. If you have any takeaways, advice, insights, anything of the sort, I'd love to see what you guys have and, most importantly, I hope you guys can take away a lot from these conversations, especially if you have hearing loss or disabilities, because I want you to know that you are not limited by your condition and that you are more than just that. Thank you so much for watching, stay inspired, and I'll see you all in the next episode.
