Hit-N-Record
Welcome to Hit-N-Record!
I'm Keno Manuel, a filmmaker passionate about exploring the stories of creative minds and sharing their journeys with you. On this channel, you'll find authentic, inspiring conversations with innovative creators from filmmaking, photography, and beyond.
Every episode, I sit down with local creatives to dig into their successes, challenges, and the lessons that shaped their paths. Whether you're an aspiring filmmaker, an entrepreneur, or someone who loves personal growth, Hit-N-Record is here to spark your creativity and motivate you to achieve your goals.
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Hit-N-Record
"I Found My Voice Four Years Ago" | Stepping Into Her Own Story as a Wedding Photographer with Autumn Phillips
What happens when a photographer’s journey becomes a story of self-discovery? In this episode, Autumn Phillips opens up about her path from questioning her identity as an adopted child to becoming a confident wedding photographer known for her emotional intelligence and authenticity. She shares how ADHD, people-pleasing, and family caregiving shaped her business—and how she built systems that work for her, not against her. From diffusing wedding day tensions to serving as a true support system for her couples, Autumn blends artistry with empathy. Most of all, she reframes every obstacle as an opportunity: whether it's a slow season or a personal struggle, it’s all part of the growth. If you’re a creative navigating self-doubt, burnout, or purpose, this conversation will remind you to show up, stay grounded, and redefine success on your own terms.
Listen now and discover how embracing your true self might be your greatest professional asset.
🎧 What Listeners Will Walk Away With
1. How to Build a Business Around Your Brain
Autumn shares how she structured her photography business to align with how her mind works, offering guidance for creatives with ADHD, sensory needs, or neurodivergence to build systems that support their success.
2. Lessons on Emotional Intelligence in High-Stress Environments
She explains how to anticipate emotional challenges on wedding days, de-escalate family tensions, and act as a calming, protective presence — showing how empathy is essential for client-centered creative work.
3. Turning Pain Into Purpose
Autumn’s journey through adoption, self-worth struggles, and identity shows how personal challenges can be transformed into a powerful creative voice and a business built on meaning.
4. How to Build a Values-Aligned Team
Rather than focusing only on skill, Autumn chooses team members based on trust and how they treat clients. It’s a lesson in creating a team that reflects your values and protects your client experience.
5. Authenticity Over Aesthetic
She emphasizes that showing up as your true self and building strong client relationships is more important than chasing a perfect portfolio. Being present and real matters more than just creating pretty pictures.
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What was the sacrifice, or sacrifices, that you had to make to pursue the career that you have now?
Speaker 2:This time last year I was freaking out because I was like I don't really have a spring season, I don't have really many, I don't have many weddings booked. I don't know what I'm doing. I don't know what I've done wrong. Like, do I just hang it up If I failed? Like am I a failure with all of this? I broke everything down, I rebranded my business, I worked through, I worked on myself. Who does Autumn want to be in here?
Speaker 1:Has it been influenced by the fact that you were adopted?
Speaker 2:Those teenage years of like, well, who am I, where did I come from? Why didn't they want me? I even went to the point in my personal life of changing who I was to make other people happy, to try to be included, to try to fit in with who I thought I needed to be around and who that environment was and I think that's the ADHD and the autistic part of me that it's like you're trying to mold yourself into what makes other people happy.
Speaker 2:When you realize that that doesn't work either and you're only hurting yourself, you're the one suffering. I found my voice about three, four years ago.
Speaker 1:What would you say to the autumn before? What would you say to her now?
Speaker 2:looking back on your progress, I'm still learning to love myself. Every day, every little day, you work a little bit harder to love yourself just a little bit more and to do things that keep bringing out the authenticity in me. I tell everybody to capture the action, you have to be in the action, so don't be afraid to just to show up and show out.
Speaker 1:Hi guys, welcome back to another HimRecord. This is another episode. As always and the usual, I'm not going to jump drop my social. It feels like I'm a dead. You're. I'm not feel like I'm beating a dead horse by dropping my socials. I really don't care about that. I just want you to know that this is a new episode and we have a new wonderful guest and she, uh she, hails from pensacola and she, uh she just recently went on a world trip as a wedding photographer, all the which we will be talking about today. But not only are we going to be talking about photos, we're going to be diving into the life of Autumn Phillips wow, can you add the applause here?
Speaker 1:oh, actually I just bought this, so I probably should learn how to add. There's an applause sound here. I knew there is, but I'm uh, I'm gonna do it anyways. Continue. Autumn, all right, yeah, go ahead. Who, what's your name?
Speaker 2:autumn, and tell us what you do my name is autumn phillips um, and I am a professional wedding photographer oh I like to call myself your wedding bestie oh, professional wedding photographer.
Speaker 1:That's the kind of caliber that we're working with here, guys. Guys, not amateur, not intermediate, but a professional photographer. You're more than welcome to acknowledge the audience too. By the way, this is like Deadpool, okay, there are thousands of souls watching through the camera right now.
Speaker 2:Hi, hello Mom, hello Dad, there's something about me. If I look at a camera, I'm immediately going to do like the whole millennial.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:I don't mean to, I just naturally like that.
Speaker 1:Do you like being in front of the camera?
Speaker 2:Not a lot. Not a lot, ironically, why?
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:It's. I am my own worst critic, and so I can. I can work with anybody all day long. Yeah, I can work with anybody all day long. I can tell you what looks good on you, what doesn't, how to do it, how to pose in front of the camera. I've got you all day, but myself, put me out there. I've spent the last two years getting a lot better at that. So this year like the first of this yeah, first of 2024, I set up with a friend of mine and booked a session.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:And like had my makeup freshly done with. With Lena, she's been on your show. Oh wait, wait, really yeah.
Speaker 1:Can you say hi to Lena. She's going to be. I love you and I miss you. And Lena Sierra, huh, and Lena Sierra, or.
Speaker 2:No, they're in Atlanta now.
Speaker 1:I know Why'd you leave us.
Speaker 2:I know I'm so sad.
Speaker 1:You're giving me abandonment issues. Selena, We'll talk soon. Okay, but no, she did my makeup.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and I felt like a whole queen.
Speaker 1:Okay.
Speaker 2:So I had my photo shoot. I got dressed up, I had different outfits and that was the first time I'd ever actually had like professional headshots of myself, because I always just do them myself. I've never been on the opposite end to get that full treatment and that full experience, that like I try to give clients and that kind of thing. So it was super cool.
Speaker 1:Wait are you talking about the profile picture? Is that the?
Speaker 2:one. Yeah, that's the one. That's the shoot, that's the shoot.
Speaker 1:I'm curious what are some of the things that drive you to feel that way? Because it's usually most. There's a lot of people that we always meet that are really good at what they do and when you like. I asked you if you, if they're good on camera, they're like. No, I, I, I wouldn't stay away away from being in front of the camera, it's just interesting. So I'm just curious what are some of the um things that run through your mind when it comes to?
Speaker 2:I've grown so much like I said from like the person, I was probably four or five years ago.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:It really comes with. Just how I see myself. It really comes with that insecurity, that internal insecurity of not maybe picking out things of how I look or what I don't like instead of what I do, and not putting myself in like the right environments of people who build you up instead of tearing you down? That kind of thing, so we'll get into some of that a little bit later Of course there's a section where it's going to be like AA, not for alcoholics.
Speaker 1:Okay, this feels like I'm going to get canceled Kino, if you're watching this, potentially cut this out, I don't know. But anyways, thank you for clearing that up. And is this your first time?
Speaker 2:I'm a very honest person. I don't have anything to hide.
Speaker 1:Honest. Okay, let's rate our honesty throughout this podcast. Please leave us a comment to rate our honesty as well. What's your social security number? Let's see how honest you are. There's a difference then I have a question that's like wedding photography. Before you dive into that, please, please take us to a journey of who Autumn Phelps was when she was born on this earth, all the way up to now we're going to go way back oh yeah, give us the summer station buckle up, better come now goodness well, I was adopted as a child.
Speaker 2:A summer session, Y'all buckle up buttercup. No Goodness Well, I was adopted as a child. I was adopted with a baby, my mom and dad. I was their only child. I was raised their only child. I was very much an outdoorsy girl.
Speaker 1:Okay.
Speaker 2:So I spent a lot of time outside and my parents loved going to Tennessee. We did all kinds of things. So I think my early picking up a camera type of thing would have been my dad giving me one. And it was back when Pirates of the Caribbean first came out and Walmart had these little, teeny, tiny little Disney cameras Really, and I still have that thing too, and so he gave me that one day and it's like I maybe four or five, like I was tiny, tiny little person.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:And I just went kind of from there. That little guy came everywhere with me and I still have like all my collections of cameras Did it have to film.
Speaker 1:Huh, was it the one with the film.
Speaker 2:It was like an old digital camera, though it was like a little Walmart Disney digital thing. It took like photos on it at a time kind of thing, but yeah.
Speaker 1:Oh my gosh, I took it everywhere with me, okay.
Speaker 2:Like the thing I took on Tennessee trips and Sorry.
Speaker 1:There's gnats everywhere.
Speaker 2:When he wants to attack my face, I freak out.
Speaker 1:It was probably very interesting your story. So you said that you were adopted and then you got a big. You picked up a camera. Did you go to college or high school? Yeah, I did.
Speaker 2:So I was homeschooled after elementary.
Speaker 1:If I'm talking, I'm doing this. I'm protecting our conversation from this gnat, so continue, You're good. So talking, I'm doing this, I'm protecting our conversation from this, nat.
Speaker 2:So continue, you're good. So yeah, I did. I took a course in high school. I was homeschooled. I graduated at 16. It's just a little in my glasses right now, sorry. No, you're fine. So I was homeschooled, I went to high school at 16. And from there my dad was sick during that period of time so I kind of took care of him. And then it, when I was like 18 or so, I got accepted, um, like on a full whim, just a whim of me even applying to the art institute. I got accepted to their online division, um, and I was able to get my degree, my associate's degree, in photography there. And, um, as long as they're not like up in my face, we're good, but uh, but yeah. So I got my degree there and I started shadowing other photographers and just learning what I liked and what I didn't like about what everybody else, about everybody's companies and what they did all right.
Speaker 1:The theme of this episode is her story and bugs. We're currently fighting through the struggle of bugs right here. I have no idea what's in here, but I remember everything you just said when you mentioned earlier that you have this deeply insecure insecurity that you've grown up with. Has it been influenced by the fact that you were adopted?
Speaker 2:Oh 100%.
Speaker 1:How did you live through that? Because most people out there, they often bury it. But the creative ones, we always drive our pain into the work that we do and that's why we're so good at what we do. And I'm just wondering how did you, as a girl, how, as a guru, how were you able to for the lack of better term cope with that, um, sense of loss into the work that you do as a creative?
Speaker 2:so my parents are absolutely wonderful. You know, when I talk about my parents, by the way, it's the ones who raised me for the record. So, yeah, my parents were very upfront, very honest with me for my entire life. My mom was, you know, earliest remembrance of her telling me that you know, I was adopted. It wasn't with the words, you know, you were adopted, it was you know, mommy couldn wasn't with the words I, you know you were adopted.
Speaker 2:It was. You know, mommy couldn't have a baby of her own, so she so some other lady, was nice enough to grow you in her belly for me, and so it was like a very, very nice way of putting that. You know, we may not be biologically related to a child, but that I, I'm still your mother, I'm still and you're still my child, like that's.
Speaker 1:It's a powerful thing yeah.
Speaker 2:So it wasn't ever that I didn't feel loved by my mom or my dad or anything like that it was more when I got older and like those teenage years of like, well, who am I, when did I come from? Why didn't they want me? Why didn't my birth parents? Why didn't they want me? Why didn't my birth parents?
Speaker 1:why didn't they want me?
Speaker 2:Like, what was so wrong about me that they didn't? It had nothing to do with my mom and my dad, it was all with me. And I was like where do you come from, Well? Who are they, Well? Who are you? Well? Does it, does who I am, have any impact on where I came from before? How much does DNA play a role in your personality and who you are and who you become to be? Um, because I I also didn't have siblings or anything like that it's just me, my mom and dad.
Speaker 2:So it's like, were those the things I know? Now I didn't know. Then, when I turned 18, I did end up finding my biological father. Um, yeah, he was. He was actually in Pensacola. We're actually friends. Yeah, yeah, it's crazy, we're friends.
Speaker 1:Okay.
Speaker 2:He's super, super cool and I think the biggest thing with that is that he kind of he didn't come in into meeting me as, like I'm your dad yeah, it was like, hey, I contributed to making, to making you a person, but I I your parents are your parents. I just want to know who you are. Are you okay with me learning who you are? Just just that, like I'm not your dad, I'm not you know, that's so. I have a very big thing with my parents. I'm a very much of a of a daddy's girl, as you've learned through talking to me the last couple of months.
Speaker 2:Is that, uh, that like I feel DNA doesn't play a part in who you become not fully that, like the people you surround yourself with, is the most important thing and that, as far as my parents like I, may call him my biological father, but my dad's my dad, because he earned that right to be called my dad. My mom's my mother because she earned the right to be called my mother, that kind of thing. If that makes sense?
Speaker 1:Yes, it does.
Speaker 2:I do know my biological mother.
Speaker 1:I've had contact with her before I do know, my biological mother.
Speaker 2:I've had contact with her before and her reasoning on things of why she gave me up and the things of that it was like okay, well, I have the information now, but it wasn't something I personally wanted to continue.
Speaker 2:I guess, so it was like all right, well, I have my answers. Thank you so much for that. I hope you have a good life and good experience and we touch base time to time throughout the year, but I am a lot closer to my biological father as a friend. Just because of how the situation would go down, I felt like he took a lot of accountability for, you know, this is what happened, this is what didn't. This was my mistake, this was my regret. This is how it went down and you were honestly better being taken care of by your parents, and she, on the other hand, had more of a like bigger plan to it and wanted me to be her daughter and this kind of thing. And I'm like no, you don't have that right.
Speaker 2:I'm not trying to be just like. You didn't earn the right to be called that Like I have a mom. She's the one who's been with me the last 20 years. She was the one that picked me up when I cried. She's the one who took care of me when I was sick Not you Like. I appreciate answering the questions, but that's kind of that was kind of it for me. Not that there's anything wrong with who she is. It's just I don't know. It's just it's a weird thing.
Speaker 2:It's a weird thing that I've spent my whole life trying to properly explain to people who don't have the same experience, I guess, but yeah.
Speaker 1:You did a wonderful job, thank you. And okay, there's a ghost in here. Apparently I'm scared. That scared the daylights out of me. I know that scared me alights out of me. I know that scared me a little bit too. It takes a certain courage and strength and humility and bravery to accept that, while you may not have been wanted, you are strong enough to find that for yourself without having to depend on them, because our parents are often the ones that dictate and influence our lives, and that's something you can own for yourself, not them. You so I want to, I want to let you know that too.
Speaker 2:Also, screw you tv for ruining up, for ruining a permanent, uh, ruining a sentimental moment here anyways, I do want to say this, though, before we move on yes, that the family you have is is fit. I've had the honor of making the family that I've, that I've wanted, if that makes sense. Yes, I didn't have a biological family, and growing up I didn't my parents, because my parents are also older, so when people adopt, they're in their 20s 30s. My parents were 42 and 43, yeah, so they had spent ten years trying to have their own baby, had adopted a child, lost that child.
Speaker 2:Oh, no, and had taken it back from them after like having custody of the baby.
Speaker 1:Oh my gosh.
Speaker 2:And so then, having me it was, it's a whole thing, but they didn't have a very large family from their siblings, they didn't have all of that big family that most people do. So it really was just the three of us and, like my two grandparents, that's a grandparent.
Speaker 1:Oh my gosh.
Speaker 2:And so I had. I view it as an honor and a privilege now because I've had the honor of welcoming people into my life and saying they're family and calling them family. Like I've got four moms. I have four people out there that I call them You're my other mom, Because they've all been a part of my life. They've all been my aunts and my uncles and my siblings and all these people that most times you don't get to choose whether that's a good person or a bad person.
Speaker 1:Family.
Speaker 2:I've had the honor of being able to do that and really welcoming people who I don't want to say deserve, but deserve to be a part of my life and a part of my inner circle. I get to call them family because that's who I've always had.
Speaker 1:What I found interesting is the way you describe your biological father as a friend rather than a father like with the labels. It reminded me of this saying, which was as corny as it sounds family is not often defined by blood, but sometimes friends are. It's not by blood, but it's also the friends that you have that you can call on as family.
Speaker 1:Yeah and that's the point of what I was trying to say oh dude, we needed the context to really understand who the hell is, autumn phillips, and how the hell you got to here, which you did a great job, by the way. Now the second question. I wanted to have a follow-up. I wanted to have a follow-up question to that. When you're experienced with all of that growing up, how did that define your definition of love and the work that you do, and also into the family that you have built? How did that sense of abandonment and the way you carry yourself and finding what it really means to be a family, how did you define those words into the work that you do and the family that you have raised?
Speaker 2:Oh goodness, that's a loaded question.
Speaker 1:Oh hell yeah, Autumn come on now. What did you? Oh, okay, I'm sorry, how's the weather?
Speaker 2:Oh no, you're good, you're good, go for it. Well, the weather, it's cold.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah, it is so go ahead.
Speaker 2:Again, it's not about DNA, whether they're your family or share the last name. It's about their actions. Do they show up and they show out?
Speaker 1:Do they show?
Speaker 2:up. When you need them, Are they there. And I look at that in my personal life and for a long time I was a part of an environment that wasn't that way, that wasn't supportive, when I was younger. But in the last couple of years I've kind of changed that up. I got rid of the bad and the negative and really looked at myself and reevaluated and I put that life experience that I had into really making an experience for my couples that I bring in for my clients and their weddings, that I am not only their cheerleader, like if I have a client.
Speaker 2:I told a girl this the other day. I was like you get your decorations in the mail and you want someone to be excited with you, and like mom's not answering the phone or X, y, z call me, be like, hey, send me a picture.
Speaker 2:I got my decorations and I'm so excited and I'm going to be like oh my God, you got your decorations and I'm so excited with you, like I want to be your cheerleader too, and like, if there's sometimes there's family dynamics on a wedding day that don't always work out or that there's some tensions.
Speaker 2:I ask that in advance. I go hey, are there any family dynamics I need to know about? If you get overwhelmed, do you want me to get people out of a room? Do you want me to give you a minute? I'm your guardian too. I'm a shield for you, me and my associate, because I always have a second shooter with me. We are there throughout the whole day, the whole experience, the whole year and a half or so that we're planning your wedding, and then I'm a part of those meetings with your planner and everything.
Speaker 2:It's so important that you vibe with the person. And so, in regards to your question of you know love and how you put that into it, that's my biggest thing is like really showing up and showing out for whether it's personal, family or friends or friends that I call family, or whether it's clients and showing up and kind of showing out for them, being them for them, or if it's like they're overwhelmed on wedding day or we don't know what to do, like, ok, I got you. Are you OK with me doing this? Do you want me to put you in a room by yourself? Do you want me to go get so-and-so? Yeah, ok, bet, I got you Like it's just, I'm going to show up and show out.
Speaker 1:Now, how did you define what love means to you when it came to the family that you've built?
Speaker 2:Again, we show up for each other. There's no judgment. There's nothing that my inner circle could say or do that would change how I feel about them. That would make me not want to be friends with them or anything like that. Like it's just be honest, I'm the most honest and brutal person, and it's probably like the best and worst thing about me?
Speaker 2:yeah, is that, um, but you're never gonna not know what I'm thinking. I guess is there. I used to be very laid I'm still laid back but I used to be very scared and very concerned with what other people think because, I think of the stemmed family, like not being adopted kind of thing.
Speaker 2:They didn't even want me. So who would like? Who wants to be friends with me, like my own parents didn't, and that's not that anybody ever said that to me. That's me thinking about, about myself growing up. So it's. It's crazy of going through all so many life experiences in the last 28 little years I've had and getting to the point of not caring exactly of how things look not caring what the outside perception of me is, of just being me, and that's probably the hardest and best thing I've ever really done and I'm still avidly working about it.
Speaker 2:I walked in here and apologized like three times to you off the bat. You're like, you don't have to do that. You don't have to like you're right, you're right, I've been, that's the thing. It's the thing I do.
Speaker 1:I'm not gonna do that anymore now that we have dive into about her upbringing. That is how autumn is. You are very brave for sharing that story. Thank you, do you like? In the words of the kung fu panda master, ugui said to po something about the past and future, but that is why we call today the present. I'm gonna have to find a cope which matter, did that anyways continuing on um.
Speaker 1:So you went back to um. So, after having lived through that, now you are now finally calling yourself a wedding photographer and you've gone through all the world. But before we get into that too, how the hell did you even think? How did you know that photography was for you? Because I knew you, said you, you just bought a camera and started taking cute photos with that Walmart point-and-shoot camera. But how did you really? What was the moment for you that clicked that?
Speaker 2:I definitely want to do this for a forever oh, I have never not been artistic, if that makes sense oh yeah. I've I I paint and I draw and I take pictures and I can sew. I can do a lot of different artsy things.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:But photography-wise, how did I know? Goodness, it's just. It's as much showing the world, the way that I see it, as much as the reaction and emotion that people have when they see a photo that means something to them Is that. Is that communicate, if I communicate that properly? Um, I'm, I'm very much a vibe person, um, so when I direct clients or something like that, I'm all about the vibe and how it feels.
Speaker 2:I don't want you to look at something and be emotionally connected to it and not just say, oh, that's pretty, that's a pretty picture. I don't want that. I want you to feel something. I want you to be like oh my gosh, yes, I love this. Or look at what was I doing, what were they doing?
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Or like what was I doing, or what was that animal?
Speaker 1:What a piece of artwork that you can remember, not not from a wedding photographer, but from your childhood era. Was there a movie or a photo, or even a game or a book that really just like whoa? It really touched you in a certain way. That informed the way you tell the couple's story this is.
Speaker 2:This may sound old-fashioned um but I was raised very traditionally, um, traditionally so, at like a traditional christian kind of setting. Yeah, and so, like growing up, my mom and dad were very much like don't ever take anything you have for granted and look at the creation that god's given you, look at okay you know, from the grains of the sand to the stars in the sky, kind of appreciation. And, um, so it.
Speaker 2:So my photography journey with a camera started really with that, the appreciation of nature itself, of being thankful of being on this earth and that and for me that you know, god didn't have to give us the sight that we like to see in color, and such vivid color, to see as far away or to experience life, the way that the human body experiences life, and just appreciating those kinds of things and that kind of part of nature and then pivoting that from nature's emotion, which may sound funny.
Speaker 1:Wait, what Nature's.
Speaker 2:Nature's emotion. Nature's emotions so like the emotion of like from animals or anything like that, or just scenery, because I I'm a big mountains girl, so from the beach all the way to the smoky mountains, I have photos of them.
Speaker 2:Um, I feel like they all have a feeling and some sort of emotion from them, whether it be from the time of day that they're taken in um to the season that they're that the photograph is taken in. So communicating like a scenery to a person is the same way of like from the time of day to the how that person's feeling. Capturing that emotion in a picture and being able to relive that moment that's what I tell my clients is that whenever you get, whether it's from the time you get your gallery back or whether you're showing your grandkids your wedding photos 50 years from now.
Speaker 2:I want you to have the same emotion and the feeling that you have looking at the photo as you did when you lived that moment. So that's kind of part of my tagline, I guess.
Speaker 1:I just have to say this Nathan, I think you're right. Nathan is a previous guest that I had on Henry Court and he is a photographer in the commercial world.
Speaker 2:Yes, I know exactly who you're talking about, sosinski. Yes, I see you.
Speaker 1:Say hi to Sosinski for me, hey, he expressed in the episode about how he wanted to capture things in God's image, and when you went on about how you wanted to capture the exact same way, I just found it really interesting, because there are photographers out there that want to capture for the sake of it looks cool, but it really depends what they are as part of their identity when it comes to interpreting the world as they see it. And for you it was just like natural, timeless, and you're pouring what you believe in into the work that you do, and I was wondering with that, what is one part of the Christianity background that you try to uphold in the work that you do?
Speaker 2:Oh, there's so many of it, go for it, pick one one. I mean, are you talking artistically or just throughout my whole business aspect and dealing with people?
Speaker 1:it really depends on which one has the most impact on the work that you do, though, because, like I think it's more, even as far as art goes.
Speaker 2:I think it's more and always more about the people that you're photographing the people you you're communicating with and I was listening to, um, you had, uh, I think, her name's.
Speaker 1:Annika.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I was listening to that all the way down here and I was like that's such a good point, yeah, and like she has, she has such a good point of like it's always about the people.
Speaker 2:It's always about the people. It's always about the people you're, you're, you're talking to and communicating with, whether it be your client or whoever they are at that wedding, at that event that you're photographing. It's always about them, it's about the people and, because of that, how I display myself and carry myself through those events and through the planning process with my couples, it's so much about I believe in kindness and very much being kind even when people aren't kind to you back, um, in having patience, but also knowing how to properly communicate. And I may not always word things the right way, um, because you'll hear me say I'm a lot in this podcast, but the point of it is is, when something happens, I'm not just gonna going to go, okay, all right, you know, I'm not going to cower down if there's something that needs to be said, I'm going to be like, hey, we only have X amount of time. So I think that's important and just like loving them.
Speaker 1:All right, Casper.
Speaker 2:Where you at, bro.
Speaker 1:Please leave us alone for a while.
Speaker 2:She wants to hang out with us too. That's the thing, what she wants to hang out with us too. So, like, um, like I told I said a minute ago, I want to be your cheerleader if you have something good happen, but I'm also on wedding days. There's tight timelines, um, and sometimes this year alone I've gotten a lot of like, hey, we're going to do all this and you have 30 minutes to do it.
Speaker 2:I have to be up front to serve them well. I have to speak up at the same time and be like, hey, I'm really good at my job, but I'm not a miracle worker. There's no way these four things are going to happen in a 30-minute time span. Can we move something around? Can we add an hour? Can we find something somewhere to make this more doable, to capture all that you want in this time frame, without things happening, without missing anything, because I feel like people are investing in me and when you invest in me, I'm going to invest just as much back into you If I want you to trust me and go. Hey, you don't get do-overs on a wedding day. There's no creating the first kiss again. There's no creating the first time that the couple see each other again.
Speaker 2:There's no first redo with dad on the first look. There's no redos on any of that. So it's like you have to trust me implicitly, whether it from my experience to my personality, to be able to handle that day from beginning to end not flawlessly, but as flawlessly as possible on as the day will allow. And so I tell people on their phone call, on that introductory call that I have with folks is like, hey, I'm going to be very honest with you. If I can do something, I'm going to make my best choice and put my best foot forward to make that happen for you. But also, if it's not doable, I'm going to tell you that's not going to happen. And I feel like that's just as being realistic is just as important as being your hype person kind of thing. Your expectations everybody's on the same page and in the same book and that you know you're investing in someone you can trust instead of just hearing a yes man all the time and putting your gallery back and being like well wait, where's all this?
Speaker 2:What's that, what's this? Why? Aren't these here and it's like, well, like we talked about it, there was this, there was that. There's timing problems here that were out of our control, or there was this or that and I let you know. I have to let couples choose Like sun. Have to let couples choose like sunsets in 10 minutes. Stop, we're behind schedule. Do you want to stop and continue family photos using after after this and take your couple photos now? That's your call.
Speaker 2:I'll do whatever you want to do, but if you want sunset photos that you told me were that were important to you, we need to go ahead and pause now and go do those and then, come back, um and that's a really hard thing for, I think, anybody to learn to have to to be able to speak up, because you and you're in front of a bunch of people that you don't know too yeah, so it's like am I gonna get a bunch of pushback from this?
Speaker 2:but it's like they've trusted me and they're expecting me to keep them on time, expect them to keep get those photos. So it's like I have to say, yeah, we can make this, but this is what we have to do to make it happen, or it's not going to work out. Kind of thing Does that make?
Speaker 1:sense, yes, first, awesome way of describing your process. Second, there is actually one thing I wanted to draw. I wanted to connect the dots between your Catholic background to what you just described. So you mentioned that. Okay, by the way, I'm not well-versed into the religion because I've lost my way, but I'm trying to find my way back. Okay, I'm a lost sheep. Please help me. All right, whoever is my shepherd, please help me find my way back. Anyways, there were a couple of things that I actually wanted to connect dots.
Speaker 1:So, if I understand correctly, with God, you have to what he does, like you, serve one of the. There are so many core principles that can always apply to not only just a personal, not into your personal life, but in business. And there were a couple of things that you mentioned that just sounded similar to what they practice in that belief. One of them, you said, was serving people. And the second one was you were talking about how trust. The same way you would put your trust into God, it's the same way that your clients are putting trust into you, because they respect everything that you've done and they know that you can get the job done.
Speaker 1:And the third thing that I also really appreciate what you said was how you were upfront about and being realistic while being able to be their cheerleader. That's not something that everybody has, or not everybody has the capability to learn yet, because that requires a lot of emotional intelligence and awareness with the amount of people that you're dealing with. So for all of that, seriously, you have to give yourself some congratulations, because that is an achievement on its own. How did you learn to balance between your beliefs in Christianity and especially with the principles, not only into professional life but into you as a person?
Speaker 2:I Never assume I have all the facts. That's the biggest thing, because there's so not have been the nicest person, or they may have rushed past you.
Speaker 2:You may automatically be like well, why are they? Like what's wrong with them, or like that kind of thing, but you never know what they're going through. Don't ever assume you have all the facts of a situation. So it's making sure that I can stand for me myself and I just stand before God at the end of the day and be like, yeah, I did everything, like I hope I made you proud today, like I did everything. I live my life today at the best way I could to be kind, to be honest, to be trustworthy to to whoever it is that I meet and communicate with and just never think that I know everything that's going on in their life to judge them or make those kind of. Does that make sense?
Speaker 1:Yes, yes, it does.
Speaker 2:People. On a wedding day you meet somebody, people in business, so many avenues of people in life and, whether that's in my personal life or business life, like I don't ever want to assume that I know what's going on with someone that I fully understand their situation enough to make a judgment.
Speaker 2:Because, just as sure as you think that that's not the case at all and there's been assumptions like that made about me in my lifetime, my life of like, oh well, this, this and this happened with her and that's just the way that it is. I'm not going to even honor that with a response, but like, because you don't know the truth, you don't know the aspects of what my life was like at times, but I don't owe you an explanation so I'm not going to give it.
Speaker 2:So I try not to put that on other people either.
Speaker 1:And like someone's.
Speaker 2:If someone was rude to me or someone sent me some sort of message or something and I don't like it, or I don't understand why they had a tone or why they had whatever it was with me. I I don't understand why they had a tone or why they had whatever it was with me. I try to make sure that I'm not just jumping to conclusions, because I don't know what their day was like. I don't know what's going on in their mind.
Speaker 2:I don't know, are they suffering internally and nobody knows that. You know what's going on. So I always try to be kind first. I be kind first, and that's just that's what I live by, and I think that's the biggest thing of having a relationship with God, and what it means to me is just be kind, no matter what. Try to fight with kindness first.
Speaker 1:You know, the very word that you just chose for yourself is kindness. That doesn't come naturally unless you have given a lot of time with forgiveness. I have given a lot of time with forgiveness, and forgiveness requires a lot of awareness to just learn that not everything has to be the way you think. For example, this past weekend, it was a hard thing for me to do. It was a hard thing for me to do and it will. It took over.
Speaker 1:I believe it was two years for a person that I had a lot of beef with and it was through. It was through something so simple that just triggered the, the need. Because I was talking to my friend. Do you know abe nab? If you, by any chance such a cool guy, you're to meet him one day. He said he's down there, but yeah, hey, autumn, make connections, wonderful person.
Speaker 1:Anyways, it took a while to it took something so trivial to get the sense of urgency within me to say you know what? I think I need to talk to this person and forgive, and I didn't realize that without forgiving, I would have continued on to the path. That would not have been the most ideal. It would have been filled with a lot of negative emotions that would still affect me into the work that I do every day, and I'm not going to forget this net. There we go. Hi guys, kino here Just wanted to take a second to say thank you so much to each and every single one of you that has been with me on this journey for Hidden Record and just sharing all these stories of all of the creatives that have appeared on the show.
Speaker 1:If you enjoy deep conversations like this, make sure to hit like and subscribe on YouTube, and if you're listening on a podcast platform like Spotify, make sure you follow that so you won't be out of the loop for every month, because I try to drop at least two episodes. So grab your popcorn and soda and let's get back to our conversation. The reason why I bring up that is because how did you take the first step into forgiving yourself as who you are and then how you forgave your parents because of what they did, and how you understand the definition of forgiveness based on the family dynamics that you have seen with your clients?
Speaker 2:okay, um, so the first part of that. There was, I guess, the word forgiving of my biological parents, for sure, but I also, because I was given the opportunity to meet them. As an adult, even though a young adult, I was able to see that them making the decision to give me away or to let me be adopted by other people was honestly the wisest and best choice for me.
Speaker 2:That was, given a situation that they had at the time and that they weren't together, that really was the best thing for me. And looking back on that now as an adult, you know you don't understand when you're a kid, you just know. You know as a kid, like I said, my mom just said, you know, somebody grew you in their belly for me because I can't. That doesn't make me love my mom and my dad any less. That's just like well, wait, there's other people. So I wouldn't say it was as much. I guess I was angry at them for most of my childhood, at my biological parents that is, and my biological parents that is.
Speaker 2:But getting to know them and know who they are and what they went through and knowing again, just not making that quick judgment of, well, they just didn't want me, because that wasn't true, it wasn't that they didn't want me, I didn't think they could take care of me adequately enough, as I deserved, and so they said you know what the best thing for her is that we give her to a family that is going to give her all the love and all the care and be able to take care of her the way that she needs to. So that's probably one of my biggest lessons, and like making sure you have all the facts before you say something to somebody before you make those judgments, because I came forward as an 18, 19-year-old being like why did you do this to me?
Speaker 2:Like what is you know what's the life that I could have had? And they're like no, they're like no, let me tell you. And so it's like this is a situation at hand and it's like, oh, all right, okay. Well then, yeah, I I see why you did it, then I I see why you made the choices back then that you did. I, I get that, um and so, with clients, it's, it's. I feel like I'm a broken record right now.
Speaker 1:You're good.
Speaker 2:And the bridge, that gap with them is just to help them communicate. Help them communicate and, at the end of the day, again, my clients have invested in me, they've trusted me. I'm going to put their mental and emotional health over anybody else there. I'm going to be like, hey, this is, they still want to see you right now. Like, give her a minute, We'll be right out. Y'all have this talk later, but today is not the place for that. I've had moms think that that's their wedding and their wedding day, and their dads that they're paying for it. They're going to get to do what they want, no matter what the bride or the groom, whichever it is and I'm just like no sorry.
Speaker 2:I'm with them, I understand that, but I'm their guardian. Today I'm here to support them and help make sure you guys. If this is a problem and y'all need to have this communicated later, that's totally fine, but now is probably not the proper time.
Speaker 2:Let's not make anybody cry on their own wedding day. Let's move past that. Let's be kind for today and we'll face those problems tomorrow and y'all can communicate that together tomorrow, when I'm not in the picture, but today's not that day. You don't want to ruin our wedding day, right? No, no, no, I'm not trying, okay.
Speaker 1:Well then, let's take a breather.
Speaker 2:Why don't you get a drink If there's photos? Is that the other Like we'll settle that for here and for now, let's not go there today. I know you don't want to do that to them and they're always like oh, no, no, no, I didn't, and they're half the time, just so in their own emotion.
Speaker 1:Who has?
Speaker 2:kind of upset the couple. They're always just kind of so in their own emotion. That it's when you kind of politely go, hey, this isn't, are you sure this is the emotion you should be having right now. Like, can we sideline that emotion for now and come back to it without saying or making that either party make that, make them feel like their feelings aren't valid?
Speaker 2:yeah because that's not my place. I can't tell you how you feel. I can't tell you how you think. It's one of my biggest pet peeves. Don't tell me what I think. Don't tell me how I feel.
Speaker 1:You don't experience the world the way that I do, so let's not go there emotional regulation and being able to communicate emotional regulation and being able to understand that to the way you are able to weave into the communication, to understand that they have to feel seen and heard because you're right. People often subconsciously put their emotions first because it's going to happen and the ability to do that takes a lot of work. So, audience to the 10,000 souls that are watching this, give her applause Second. Wow, Just wow.
Speaker 2:I just genuinely want to help people. That's it. I just want to genuinely give people a good day, because there's so many bad ones. We have so much. Everybody's going through something I don't talk to anybody a day in their life where there's not like, oh, I'm doing good, and then it's like where's the butt? Like all right, what's what's? You know what's going on, what's really going on, and so it's. We have such a habit. It's like me and you were talking before we sat down.
Speaker 2:It's just good there's so much more behind that, though. Sometimes I don't like being asked that question if I'm not good, because it's like I don't want to just pour out my soul to you right now. Because it's not, we're just doing simple niceties. Yeah, but like there's so much. Everybody's going through something and it all kind of leads back to just showing kindness to people and trying to understand them. You know, there's this phrase kill them with kindness. Yeah, I was trying to do that it's my rule.
Speaker 1:You want to be like. I'm sorry, um, but remember there's always room for you in this world and everything that you do. So never, ever, apologize for that, and I've spent.
Speaker 2:I've spent the last I found my voice about three, four years ago.
Speaker 1:Really.
Speaker 2:I found. It's taken me that long. I found and I found it mainly because of my business life and like when? Cause this? I? I don't know if we're going to get to this question or not Um, but starting out as a wedding photographer and like following around and learning from different people and, um, different photographers, that kind of thing I was scared to stand in the aisle, cause. That's where everybody walks down, that's where everybody's staring at you.
Speaker 2:You're in the middle of a wedding aisle and it's like everybody can look like I I'm not trying to be center of attention right now, but I kind of have to be here to get that shot right there. The couple and I was so scared and then you just have to do it like no, you just have to do it someone's in your way, you just have to tell them to get out of your way and I'm like I didn't have that. I was so timid and so scared really, yeah me. Second I was like hi, no, oh, I'm, I'm sorry, I'm in your way, I'm oh, like. Everywhere I looked, yeah, um, I was so nervous and so timid with everybody and everything.
Speaker 2:I didn't have a voice. I even went to the point in my personal life of changing who I was to make other people happy, to try to be included, to try to fit in with who I thought I needed to be around and who that environment was. And it's not until it's like you come to that moment of like because I changed myself and my personality, which is going to sound crazy and I was wrong for this. I was very wrong for this, but I you know, I was early 20s, and change your personality is like they don't like me. Okay, well, who do I need to be? Who do I need to be for you to make you happy? Then, like who, how do I need to be become? So I kind of pivoted to try to be that kind of person.
Speaker 2:And then there it's like oh well, you're fake or you're conceited and you're this and you're that. I'm like wait, no, no, no, no. What do you? What do you mean? What do you? Mean me, yeah.
Speaker 2:So when you realize and you have that come up into, like being yourself didn't work being somebody you thought they wanted didn't work, and I think that's the ADHD and the autistic part of me that it's like you're trying to mold yourself into what makes other people happy. I was definitely a big people pleaser, and it's like when you realize that that doesn't work either and you're only hurting yourself and you're the one suffering. Um, in this personal thing it's like, okay, we've gotta call it, we've gotta call something's wrong here yeah and maybe. And why am I getting treated this way, like what's coming?
Speaker 1:when why?
Speaker 2:and it's like, oh well, I'm allowing myself, I'm allowing myself to be treated this way. Well, why am I allowing myself to be treated this way? Well, why am I allowing myself to be treated this way? And it's like, oh, you don't like yourself.
Speaker 1:Oh wow, you know you don't like yourself, yeah.
Speaker 2:Okay, well then, what's wrong with me? And it's like you pick out a couple of things, like, okay, I have this thing where it's like there's it's one thing to acknowledge that you may have a character flaw, and I'm like, okay, well, I'm going to actively work on this.
Speaker 1:Yes.
Speaker 2:There's another for just browbeating yourself for no reason. It's a whole other thing. I get that one. I realize that that's what I'm doing. I'm doing this and I don't deserve to be treated this way. I don't deserve what I'm getting from other people.
Speaker 2:I'm from my inner circle and I don't deserve what I'm giving to myself. I need to show up and show out for myself, and so, after COVID, that's pretty much what I did. I broke everything down, I rebranded my business, I worked on myself, I stopped associating with all the people that I was at the time and it's like all right. So who do I want to be? Who does Autumn? Who does Autumn want to be in here and be on the outside?
Speaker 1:And it's.
Speaker 2:I found my voice and I said all right, I'm speaking up for myself, I'm not going to endure this, I'm not going to take this. This is what I am and this is what I'm not, and I have been that way since. It's just like I am me all the way around. I am me all the way around.
Speaker 1:No Autumn be quiet. This is my podcast, now and then you can. Now you have to show me your voice.
Speaker 2:My throat. No, no, just kidding, I'm out.
Speaker 1:You're doing.
Speaker 2:No, I'm just kidding, You're great. No, that's like. I'm sorry I sometimes I might get too serious. Do not get too.
Speaker 1:No, no, shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up. No All right, you're right.
Speaker 2:You're right. Like I said, I can take criticism in that aspect. You're good, you're right.
Speaker 1:What would you say to the autumn before? What would you say to her now, looking back on your progress? What would you say to her being in the position to finally be so, so happy with who you are? What would you?
Speaker 2:say to her You'll find yourself eventually. You just you may have to, you may have to get drug through the mud a little bit, but you'll find yourself and you'll be better for it. Because I most people say they live with the regrets and they have all these things.
Speaker 1:No, the trauma, I went through the things I endured.
Speaker 2:It made me who I am now. Like I wouldn't be who I am right now. I wouldn't. I wouldn't be such a confident business owner, a confident person and, as you've seen in the beginning of this, like I'm, I'm still. It's an active day-to-day thing of working on it.
Speaker 2:I have I have really bad anxiety, I have all kinds of things, but it's like do I let those stop me, or do I? Do I let it be an obstacle that I have to move out of the way, or do I let it be a wall that stops me? And that's that's what I teach. A lot of my mentees and people that I mentor is like do you so you have a nine to five and you want to be a photographer?
Speaker 2:you have kids, or you have this like I also take care of my dad. So it's like you have these things, but do you let them be obstacles that go okay.
Speaker 2:Well, it may delay my progress from point A to point B for X amount of time, or I need to find a plan of how to work with the obstacle to make it not an obstacle anymore, or do I see it as a wall that's just going to completely shut me down, that I'm not going to be able to continue to go forward? So it's really a mindset, guys. Did you get that? Your mindset is everything, your outlook on life is everything, and so if you're embracing negativity and you're going to be negative if you're around sad people, you're going to be a sad person, and it's one thing if there's a reason for that. But just people who are habitually that way is what I'm talking about sad person, and it's one thing if there's a reason for that, but just people who are habitually that way is what I'm talking about.
Speaker 1:It's exactly what you said earlier the people, people, people too, because not only are you choosing the right people, you're also choosing the choice of finding the better future for yourself yeah and I really I'm. God. What you just said hit me right now because, oh, I'm. I'm at a place where I'm trying to find an option to make everything not an obstacle, my really having met Amanda. By the way, amanda Amanda Hensley, makeup artist, I shoot with her.
Speaker 2:I have the worst personal names. If you show me a photo I can tell you whether I know them or not. But if you're like do you know so and so I'm gonna be like have no idea you're good this, I'm not a names girly. Oh, she's so cute.
Speaker 1:I don't think I've met her you are gonna meet her okay, bet um, but okay, long story short, the reason why what you said really affected me right now is because I'm at a I'm at a position where I'm trying to find options, where the things that are so important to me in my life, I'm trying to make sure that anything that I decide doesn't turn them into an obstacle, because, as much as we all want, we want to have everything, but there are decisions that we will face that might require giving up some of those in order to turn the obstacle that we're facing into a possibility for the sake of whether it's for a career or for your own personal reason, and that is why what you said touched me, because I'm trying to figure that out and just the hardest thing it isn't even just deciding whether this thing is going to be an obstacle or a wall.
Speaker 2:It's deciding how to handle that obstacle in a way that is authentic to you, because how I would handle the obstacle won't be how you handle the obstacle. Does that make sense?
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:So it's your mindset.
Speaker 2:I guess I say perceived reality, because everybody's experiences in life are different, so that perceived reality for each of us is different, because that reality is. That is our reality. It's just perceived differently by other people. And until you're okay with being like, no, this is my situation, I don't have to explain it to you. And handle that situation authentically to yourself, to where, at the end of the day, you can still sleep at night and that you can answer For me. I say, as long as I can answer to God at the end of the day and be, like all right.
Speaker 2:I did everything I could to be peaceful with all men, to be true to myself, to be an honest human being like to be authentic to me and who I am like. That's what I'm going to do, because, at the end of the day, I have to answer to myself, I have to answer to myself, I have to answer to God. So it's like, whatever that is, you'd be able to answer to yourself and live with yourself to where you don't have regrets.
Speaker 1:Okay, I think this is my therapy now.
Speaker 2:How much do I pay you for your office? I just care so much. I care so much about everything and everybody. My husband says it's one of my best and worst traits as well, because it's like I care so much about everything and everybody, my my, it's. My husband says it's one of one of my best and worst traits as well, cause it's like I care so much about people and it's like you can't. It's like autumn you can't fix everybody, you can't fix everything. I'm like no, no, no, no, no, I don't want to fix.
Speaker 2:If you just try to be hopeful, if you just persevere, you're hopeful about yourself and that you can do things better. Like I've lived that, I've done that, I've been that person. I've been the person that was just like I'm ready to just go back to dust man, like I'm tired of what I'm going through, I'm tired of what I'm dealing with. I've been there and done that. But now to be on the other side of that and have a whole different perspective on life, yeah, it's. It's such a, it's such a beautiful transition, for me at least. Like it was tough, it it hurts and it hurts for years, but coming out on the other side of it, it's a beautiful thing what were the some?
Speaker 1:what was the sacrifice, or sacrifices, that you had to make to pursue the career that you have now?
Speaker 2:Career-wise. I've always been very supported by other people, by my inner circle and my family. It's more just having to double dose, because just this year alone, we'll just talk about this year.
Speaker 2:My dad's been sick for 10 years now, um, and I take care of him, but, uh, I've had, I've kind of I've had to put photography not on a back burner, but kind of like up there, cause my parents are number one for me, they're everything for me, they've done everything for me, so I'm I'm going to take care of them as best I can. So, wait, what was the question? I got lost.
Speaker 1:What was the sacrifices that you had to make this year?
Speaker 2:It's been a slow process. I I've dealt with a lot of different things, but I'll just focus on this year with my dad this time last year. I'm going to backtrack a little bit, I'm sorry.
Speaker 1:Yes, you're good.
Speaker 2:This time last year I was freaking out because it was like I don't really have a spring season, I don't have really many, I don't have many weddings booked, I don't know what I'm doing. I don't know what I've done wrong. Like, do I just hang it up if I failed? Like am I a failure with all of this? And my husband was just like no, autumn, there's a reason. Like, whatever it is, just stress that there's a reason You're not. Like it's not you. I had my own mentor.
Speaker 2:I paid for my own mentor session, kind of to get advice from another professional, like hey, evaluate me, tell me what I'm doing wrong. They're like no, you're really not doing anything wrong. Like here's a couple of things for social media that you could get better at, like grow that, and. But really you're doing, you're doing really well. I don't know, I don't know why you're you're not booked or whatever. It's like OK, let's, I don't know, what do I do now? And then my dad. My dad has spent most of this entire year in the hospital.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:So I spent most of what would have been my spring season if I was booked out every weekend. I wouldn't have been able to be there to take care of my dad. I would have been able to drive my mom back and forth from the hospital and back.
Speaker 1:I wouldn't have been able to do all of those things, so I don't really call that maybe a sacrifice, but I feel like it worked out the way that it needed to be worked out, so that I could take care of who I needed to take care of. I don't think that's. I don't think that's like something you should ever.
Speaker 2:Like I don't really know if that's. That probably isn't the question as far as a sacrifice, it's more just time, just sacrificing time, cause you don't get that kind of thing back. I'm sitting this week, I've been sitting in a hospital, hospital room, all week long and editing photos and trying to plan out social media posts with, like, not really letting anybody kind of know, because I want my page to be a lot more of a positivity yeah, like hey, I am delayed, like, hey, I'm a little behind on this.
Speaker 2:I'm very honest to people of hey I am. It's like I'm really sorry that I'm behind on this, but this is kind of what's, what's going on? Um yeah, just just time and being able to try to run a business from a hospital room. Sometimes, I think I think autumn.
Speaker 1:I think that's not that's. That's a worthy sacrifice, because no one will ever remember what we're doing, what kind of luts we're using, what kind of settings we're even making, with how much hue saturation uh, yeah, I destroyed this image with a lot of grain, I don't know. No one will ever remember the tiny things that you've done for your clients. Clients are yeah, they're not. They're not going to go away. There's always going to be more clients, and the reason why I think it's a worthy sacrifice is that, while you might lose out on many amazing clients, you will not lose out on the time that you have spent with your dad, especially the way they have helped you from the beginning. Right, that is the one thing you will always be able to take all the way to your grave, even.
Speaker 2:Yeah, because yeah, I'm not going to have any of the shoulda, coulda, woulda.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:You know, because I did, I always showed up. You know because I did, I always showed up. You know, despite whatever the trials was, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1:And that's something I wish I did with my grandma. But you know, I've discussed it multiple times in the other episodes. Just like lots of should'ves, I'm in the exact opposite Lots of should've, would've, could've and it's something that I'm at a better place now, but it's something that still deeply affects me, even in the work that I do, even the work that I, even in the work that I put as to develop myself as a person, and even hearing your story, it just as a reminder that we all need to work on the things that we should have been better at, and that's why thank you for sharing that story.
Speaker 2:I see, the thing thing about it too, is with your experience, whatever that experience was, you've learned something. Well, whatever, it was that you went through like you. If you feel like you were, there were things that you could have done better, you let that. You let that experience change you and you learned from that experience.
Speaker 2:So you didn't just go okay, yeah, that happened and moved on. You weren't blind to you know whatever it was that you saw and you looked upon yourself and you said, hey, I could have done better. And you let that change you to where you. I guarantee you would never let that happen again if you had that same scenario with anybody else. Does that make sense? So it's still not. It's not. I still wouldn't say look at it as a negative, because it's not, because you learned and you're changed and you're better for that that was a gift, that that person was able to give you.
Speaker 1:In that experience that you went through Parents, even though as annoying as they were when we were little, the best feeling that I ever got was now understanding that they were still figuring things out at the same age and, um, god damn it. Anyways, um, now we're going to dive into. I don't want to cry tonight. I don't want to cry. I don't, I'm not, I'm not ready for that.
Speaker 2:I've been crying all week. It's okay, all right.
Speaker 1:Before we dive into the career aspect, I want to give you the opportunity to say this or answer this question what would you say to people that are dealing with ADHD? Then you said sensory issues and you see autism, or I'm on the spectrum but it's not.
Speaker 2:I'm like a very high functioning, like it's very, very low, but having ADHD kind of puts you on that spectrum.
Speaker 1:One thing I hate when people say is with the condition, please don't ever define the rank of whatever that is. It's just as important as every other condition. So I wanted to give you the opportunity to offer some level of hope, some words of hope for those that want to do the same thing that you're doing yeah, struggling with those.
Speaker 2:Don't be afraid to do things the way that you want to do them, the way that, because the way that I process things, the way that I come at my business, I build my business, is a way that is functional for me. You know the way I have a bucket in my house that if something doesn't belong there and I don't want to put it up, it goes there until the end of the week when I go okay, well, this is cleaning day, I'm going to pick this bucket up and put everything where it goes down, kind of thing. If that makes sense.
Speaker 2:Don't be afraid to run your life the way that you want, just because society or whatever you know, clean all in one day or do this all in one day, that kind of thing you don't have to, is something I my husband has ADHD too, so we we get along really well on that, but we're but our tics are different, if that makes sense. Um, cause for me to say, like cleaning the kitchen it's you would say it's just one task, Like that is the task of cleaning the kitchen, but for me it's like it's 10 tasks, because you have to empty the dishwasher.
Speaker 2:You have to reload the dishwasher. You have to get everything off the counter and put that in the dishwasher. You have to wipe the counters off. You have to shake the rugs. You have to clean the oven or whatever it is. You have to sweep, and then you have to mop and put the rugs back down and then the kitchen's clean. It's 10 tasks compared to the one that's my thing, to where most people would just be like, yeah, you got to clean the kitchen. It's like it's no, that's like a whole. It's a whole breakdown of tasks. Right, I can't just, oh, clean the kitchen.
Speaker 2:It's not one task, it's five yeah um, and I, I had this thing of like well, I had to do it all at once, I had to do, or if there were dishes that didn't fit the dishwasher, I couldn't stand it because I don't wash them, yeah, and I saw this video on social media somewhere I think it was TikTok or something, and they were like just wash it again, just run the dishwasher again.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Like it goes through. I know that's the simplest. I probably sound absolutely nutty for this, yeah, but it's like why didn't I ever think of just not being stressed out by the dishes still on the sink? Why didn't I just run the dishwasher again?
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:You know, does that make sense at all?
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:So yeah, just don't be afraid to have a system that works for you. Your system doesn't have to conform to societal norms or to anybody else's system, or the way they run their business, or the way they run their lives or the way they run their errands.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Or how they deal with people or communicate with other people.
Speaker 1:Just errands, yeah, or the how they deal with people or communicate with other people. Just find the system that works for you and do that. There you go to. You all adhders, adhd, I don't know. You know, like there's, there's many killers okay, that's very wrong word to use. Um, yeah, I'm gonna stop here because I, I don't want to say any other words because I'm— Cancel, huh, cancel, cancel me, do it Okay, but now— Kids. That's a great segue, kid, kid, with the way you process things, how were you able to formulate a plan and a business? The way you run your business, how did you combine what you have to learn to live with and to make sure that the business works for you?
Speaker 2:Ooh, how did I make it work for me? I just run my system. I just make the system fit. So how did I do that? I don't know? A lot of trial and error.
Speaker 1:That's everything, a lot of trial and error.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I bet that's a lot of, because I used to struggle a lot of trial and error. Yeah, I bet that's a lot of, because I used to struggle a lot with answering emails quickly Okay. Because I was using two different systems. I had like an intake form from like one advertising company, but then I would have to physically take their information, put it into the other one.
Speaker 1:Okay.
Speaker 2:And then I, so I never got around to it. I would miss jobs over the last, you know, few years prior of, because I just I couldn't email them back quick enough or I didn't ask for a phone number, I didn't get it. You know that kind of thing. So trial and error on like finding a system that I wanted to invest in that worked for me so that I could run the backside of the business properly, cause it's not as fun as taking the pictures and editing them.
Speaker 1:You know, this thing.
Speaker 2:I can hyper focus on something for hours and be like, oh, I edited that whole gallery and today, all right, but at the same time, the things that I don't like that don't that? That don't give me the dopamine. Up here, it's like I'd rather do anything else, like answering an email or something, and I take this the wrong way. Folks, I love talking to y'all, but I'm terrified of talking to y'all.
Speaker 1:Oh my gosh, Does that make sense?
Speaker 2:Yes, Like I have to be able to talk to you and talk on the phone and answer the phone and do all the answer the questions. I can answer your questions. I have the knowledge. Yes, but sometimes it takes the tism and I'm like I. It doesn't I.
Speaker 1:Do you have to find yourself in the right mood to do it?
Speaker 2:Because I have to have the right circumstances in that day. Like I take appointments on, I take appointments like two days a week.
Speaker 1:Oh, wow, okay.
Speaker 2:I have two specific days that I've mentally prepared myself for the entire week, like, hey, you're sitting down and you're doing office work, tuesday afternoon after four o'clock. You know, you know, from this time to this time, because that's my system, that's how I have to trick my brain into doing the things that it needs to do because it doesn't want to do them, naturally.
Speaker 1:So you're saying, if you're on the, yeah, hi, my name's Adam, I want to get off, I don't want to do this. Is it like that kind of dual voices that's going on the same time and I can't imagine how mentally exhausting that can be.
Speaker 2:It's me having my desk and like knowing I have an appointment at five o'clock. I'm like, ok, we have the appointment at five o'clock. What do we need to do? We need to prep ourselves. Oh wait, barkley needs to go outside. I let Barkley out and it's five o'clock. Where did the 15 minutes go? What happened o'clock? Where did the? Where did the 15 minutes go? What happened? I didn't just stare into space for 15 minutes, did I stare into space for 15 minutes? All right. And then I have to like, run, grab my notebook and my you know. Then I feel like I'm scrambled for something does that make sense?
Speaker 1:yes, because I, it's like I, yeah you just feel like you need a structure to keep but it's a trial and error of finding the structure that works for you.
Speaker 2:So it's again my structure and my system may not work for everybody.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:That kind of thing. But for me I have to set appointment times in the afternoon when I've already eaten and I know I'm going to be in like a good frame of mind, so that I'm not nervous on the call, because people can pick up on that.
Speaker 2:If I call and I'm like, oh hi. And then I go, oh it, well it, um, yeah, and this is, this is how I do this, and what was I saying and why was I saying it? Like, if I have that kind of attitude about it, it's not going to come off as professional as not even just professional, but it's trustworthy if my whole gig is for you to trust me.
Speaker 2:I mean to sell not sell you, but sell you on trusting. Hey, you're investing thousands of dollars into me for this. Like you can trust me if I can't answer your question because my brain's on the proper thinking pattern for that moment. Like that can. That has failed me multiple times.
Speaker 2:It's like okay, well, you don't think as clear in the morning as you do in the afternoon, so schedule your appointments in the afternoon, schedule your calls then, and kind of keep things systematic so that I can work it properly and give clients my best foot forward.
Speaker 1:Now we're going to do the opposite side, your work. What were some of the things that you had to put into the bucket to make sure that your mental space is full of free space that you can focus on, that you can allocate to the things that are the most important? So what are some of those things that you had to deal with in this career?
Speaker 2:So you mean, just to make sure I understand your question, like what are some things that, like, I can't handle at that moment? So I kind of put them aside to deal with?
Speaker 1:Yes, and then you have to remove. It's kind of like the conversation that we talked about. So there are photographers that were identified as scammers but when they were really not. Yeah, there are some weddings that you took on so many weddings. How did you walk through that hell?
Speaker 2:In regards to having a, it's just being able to communicate still clearly, like we discussed a little bit earlier, of as much as I want to be your cheerleader and stuff Like if you and you text me at 830, 9 o'clock, 930 at night and my brides do all the time, or sometimes on a Saturday, they're planning their wedding while I'm working one. So it's kind of like I have to kind of sit you on the shelf, but I'm not just going to leave you on read either.
Speaker 1:Unfortunately, guys, we are running out of time. I get lost into the conversation and please, please, in the comments, let Autumn know that she did wonderful. You really did wonderful. Like seriously, all the questions that you have answered are filled with so much value and you are going to help somebody. Whether that's not going to be acknowledged or not, trust me, you're doing good.
Speaker 2:Thank you.
Speaker 1:Okay, appreciate it. Lightning round, guys, it's lightning round, let's go All right. So lightning round. How were you able to Actually let me first Ms Phillips, or Mrs Phillips, sorry, how were you first Number one? Question number one how did you deal with clients that are not very receptive to the pricing model that you have chosen to make profit for your business?
Speaker 2:Go Pricing model. That's really easy. I just we may not be the best fit to work together, that's okay. I offer as many payment plans as I can. I do a certain percentage down and if it's like we're going to get into in a minute that. I've had clients that are like, hey, I'm getting married in six weeks. I haven't heard from my photographer, or they did that on me, or I think I got a scammer Like what do I do? And I'm like okay.
Speaker 2:Well, you know, if I am available on this date we're not mid-wedding season I try to negotiate or kind of do what I can you know to work with if they have a specific budget about them. So if I can serve you and I can make you happy and take that stress relief off of you and give you the confidence you have someone you can trust as your photographer for that day and it yeah maybe a little different, if it's like a short notice kind of thing.
Speaker 2:Um then yeah, I'll work with you as best as I possibly possibly can to make sure I pay my bills and pay my employees and and that you get top-notch service we just won.
Speaker 1:We just heard that connect Connecticut just switched to wanting to vote for Autumn for the presidential candidate for being the best photographer. You just want to stay. Next question we're hoping to win Iowa this time With this question. Here we go what is the best work that you've done recently? Spoiler alert Santorini.
Speaker 2:Please walk us through that experience and how you were able to this is what we should have spent all our time on is this, this ridiculous story go um. So it was the best and worst trip of my life. Um, I land, I land in Athens. I kid you not in the Athens is on fire what. Athens was fire. There were wildfires everywhere. That started. I was on a 13-hour flight, Not Santorini. I landed in Athens and we flew out to Santorini for the day.
Speaker 1:Oh my gosh.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so on the project that I was on, we were flying there and while we're crossing the ocean, wildfires broke out all across Athens. So we get there and the Airbnb and everything we're supposed to be staying at for the event is under evacuation. So I got sick landing when we landed. We'd been in the air so long and I get motion sickness. I got sick getting as we landed the plane, so I had that. That. I was motion sickness. Oh my God, I got sick getting as we landed the plane, so I had that that I was dealing with. I had a really bad migraine because of everything I just dealt with and all this flight, because I was flying by myself. It was the first time I'd ever flown anywhere for that long by myself.
Speaker 2:I was absolutely terrified and I proceeded to spend the next 10 hours 10 hours in the Athens International Airport while everything was on fire, kicked out of our Airbnb, the hosts and everything that were in charge of it all were trying their best to find us other accommodations, fix everything, save some of the shoes. It was crazy. That was how it all started. Once we got to the couples and the event itself, we got to hang out at a winery. We did a lot of shoots. It was a lot of fun. I don't I'm running, I'm ah tism's ticking, but it was a lot of fun. It was a lot of fun. I had a lot of fun. Don't go to Greece in August.
Speaker 2:It's really hot.
Speaker 1:It's really really hot, well being the biggest step that we all can take as a creative is going literally for you. You wanted to help fire. You took the first step into being uncomfortable. How, why was that so important for you when it came to growing as a creative? The fact that you wait, question. Was that the first time out of the country?
Speaker 2:No, that was the first time for work out of the country.
Speaker 1:Oh, wow.
Speaker 2:That was my first time for work out of the country, but I had been to Barcelona, spain, in 2019 before COVID hit, so I've only been out of the country twice.
Speaker 1:So with that experience.
Speaker 2:What did that reveal about you that you are so proud of? Honestly, just the fact that I did it. It was like I did this, I did this, I worked so hard and I did this.
Speaker 1:What was it on? I saw, like you know, Annika, she has a page on her website where it's like a bucket list. Yeah, Is this part of the bucket list?
Speaker 2:Yeah, so the personal side of this trip is that I said again, I'm a Christian, so it's like Greece is where the Acropolis and everything is. Paul gave a sermon there.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:And I was like I'd always said and I'm still going to do this but I was like, just in case, this is coming first, now that I wanted to walk the same roads and stuff out of Italy that the Apostle Paul did, I was like, okay, well, I'm not going there, I'm going to Greece for work. So I was like you know what? The Apostle Paul still gave a sermon there, so I still can say I stand and stood where he was, and so I got to do that. That was like the best personal accomplishment that I got to do. That I've said I was going to since I was like eight years old Give her some clap. Yes, accomplish things.
Speaker 1:Okay.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I learned a lot about myself that I can hack a lot of things alone, more than I thought I could. I was very adventurous and I'm not normally, so I'm a nervous Nancy. If you guys haven't gotten this far, I'm a nervous Nancy.
Speaker 1:Nancy oh.
Speaker 2:Nancy, it's just a figure of speech.
Speaker 1:Nancy, that's the first time I've heard of her Nervous Nancy.
Speaker 2:That might just be my mom thing.
Speaker 1:There's a lot of things that my mom says that I have learned in my adult life that nobody else on the planet says but it's normal for me because it's normal for her. The only reason why I was so confused is because that reminded me of the one famous or used to be famous uh, detective, that's fictional nancy drew yeah nancy drew. Okay I, that's the first time I've heard of it. Nervous nancy nervous nancy yeah all right, I'm gonna start calling everyone.
Speaker 2:I know never go ask my mom of like where did you get this? Does anybody else ever said this, or is this just a nice thing? Miss phillips.
Speaker 1:I mean, I invite the uh invitation to be on my podcast to just simply talk about one topic.
Speaker 2:Where did Nancy, oh Lord, don't get her on here. Anyway, lightning round.
Speaker 1:I just heard that we have won Iowa. We need to get other 50 states. But the other thing was with the creative business. Okay, how do you learn to delegate your work? Because every work that we do, you know we treat it like a baby and we have a hard time to let it go. Yeah, so what was the hardest thing that you had to learn to let go of because you knew that it was the right move to improve yourself as a business person and as a creative? What was the hardest thing that you had to let go?
Speaker 2:I had to find people I could trust. That was it I had to find and I did. I have a team of I have my husband's actually joined my team this year too, yeah yeah. So it's just finding people you can trust, just finding somebody who has the right personality and you have the right personality for the job to be a wedding photographer. Because if I'm going to tell you now if you're in photography or wedding, if you're in photography or the wedding business for money, don't do it. You're not going to last. If you're in it for purely money, don't do it. You're not going to last. Don't even bother trying, because if you don't have the bad emotions some days, don't do it.
Speaker 1:I mean that literally honest with you, don't the literally? It's literally what you did. You went out, went through hellfire and still made sure that the couple is so happy with the pictures that you took that right there. You know what that looks like, guys someone with passion. If you're in it for the money, you're probably gonna be like, nah, I'm not doing it.
Speaker 2:I've been doing this for over eight years now and it's like the money will eventually come. The money will eventually come. You just make sure that you're treating people properly and you're putting your best foot forward artistically, and you'll get there. You just keep working at it. You'll eventually get there and don't see your obstacles as walls see, that's the hardest thing is like.
Speaker 1:I recently turned 26 and I just had I'm not at the place where I used to think as 18, where it was like um, realizing that time and money or time and energy we only we have two limited resources time and energy. Yep, and hardest part about that was learning where to put them, especially after spending the fact that you spent eight years. It's like not knowing how things are going to work out, but you still continue to give your time and energy in hopes that it will work out. That takes.
Speaker 2:And it's because I love what I do and I love people. It's not because I'm like you know, money, money, money. That's not the reasoning. But in regards to the question, just to make sure you find people you trust and I've had the honor of meeting a couple amazing people Shout out to you Baldwin, he's my associate. He's like the only person that I've had the honor of getting to know and getting to work with and getting to know him and his beautiful family that I would trust to be like yeah, I know you can handle a wedding day for me because I know he's going to handle the people properly, not just the artistic aspect. He's got the artistic ability hands down. But I trust him more than I trust anybody else because I trust how he's going to handle those clients. I trust how he's going to handle those people. So how he's going to handle those clients, I trust how he's going to handle those people, so I trust him to go anywhere with me or to handle clients without me. There that kind of thing, it's just focus on people.
Speaker 1:Wonderful answer, ms Phillips. Okay, last question, and now we're going to wrap up, okay.
Speaker 2:You ready.
Speaker 1:Yeah, now that you've gone into this business eight years, ever since the inception of you being born on this earth, to discovering the camera that was what you would call a Walmart pointed shoe camera to learning how to balance between your personal life taking care of your parents and having to live with the fact that you were adopted, to now making this career possible and successful for you, going forward into the future, there are two things that we and the 10,000 souls that are watching through this camera. The first question is this what would your legacy, what would you want your legacy to look like when you're, because there will be a time when we can say our time has passed. What is your legacy and what does your legacy look like?
Speaker 2:I think I'd have to say is that I did everything I could to treat everybody the right way, that I put my best foot forward and artistically, is that I cared enough about each little moment, because it's all the little moments that make the big ones.
Speaker 2:It's not always the standing at the. In regards work-wise standing at the altar. In regards work-wise standing at the altar, saying I do, sometimes it's the private vow reading that nobody else saw that prior morning, or it's the little moments that mom put my necklace on or, you know, your first look with your dad, that kind of thing. It's the little moments that count, and so I just I want to make sure that people go yeah, she caught every little moment she valued. She valued every little moment that she had. She didn't put anything for granted, she did everything she could. I'm sorry I'm starting to cry and I'm not going to cry, but you take the time with every individual that you can and that's what's most important.
Speaker 1:Good answer. And then the second one is what is the?
Speaker 2:weakest part of you that you're still learning to work on. I'm still learning to love myself every day, every little day, uh, you make a little bit harder to love yourself just a little bit more and to do things that keep bringing out the authenticity in me, um, without, without losing any other part of me.
Speaker 1:Okay, so guys, we're out. I got no more time. If time wasn't real, I would do this forever for every other guest. I wish I could, but you will always have her in the future, yes or no? Oh yeah, see, I'll be here. See time, we'll buy more time. But, um, can you drop your socials and where can people find you? The website, everything that you have that's related to what. I would love for you to drop that right now so they can find you yeah, so basically everything I have is autumn and co photography.
Speaker 2:It's autumn and company, but um, instagram wise is at autumn and co photo, so it's co photo, um, and then website wise, it's wwwautumnsphotographycom and what are your availabilities for the couples out there that are looking for a great photographer?
Speaker 1:What are your availabilities?
Speaker 2:Right now I'm presently booking. I'm almost booked up for spring, so I'm focusing on summer 2025 up to summer 2026 right now.
Speaker 1:Good yeah, couples Can they be up DM, her, dm her.
Speaker 2:Okay, I have a lot of fun announcements coming in the first of the new year too, I have a lot of fun announcements coming on my pages for the first of the year.
Speaker 1:We have a lot of fun things happening. I can't talk about them yet, but they're coming. Yeah, NDA guys, sorry. And then now any last words that you have never been, that I never got to give you a chance to speak out on.
Speaker 2:I tell everybody, to capture the action, you have to be in the action. So don't be afraid to just to show up and show out, put yourself yourself, put yourself in the center of attention. Sometimes it's really hard, it's really scary for me it was and it still is every single time I do it but you learn a lot about yourself and you get to meet a lot of cool people when you're not scared to show who you are and be authentic to who you are.
Speaker 1:All right, guys. That is it for Hen Record. I will see you all in the next episode. Bye, bye. I will see you all in the next episode. Bye-bye, bye.
Speaker 1:And that's a wrap for today's episode on Hymn Record. Thank you so much for sticking with us and I do hope that today's episode was insightful and also it gave you some kind of fresh perspective in your creative journey. If you're listening on Spotify or any other podcast platform, a quick review is definitely gonna help. It helps other people find us and, for those that are watching on YouTube, make sure you drop a comment down below or a question, because I would love to see what your thoughts are. If you have any takeaways, advice, insights, anything of the sort, I'd love to see what you guys have. And, most importantly, I hope you guys can take away a lot from these conversations, especially if you have hearing loss or disabilities, because I want you to know that you are not limited by your condition and that you are more than just that. Thank you so much for watching, stay inspired and I'll see you all in the next episode. Thank you.
