What Loss Can Teach Us About Leadership, Legacy, and Living With Purpose with Shantelle Dedicke

When grief hits hard, we stopped trying to “super heal” and asked a different question: what if we didn’t outwork it—what if we listened? That single shift changed everything about how we lead, create, and show up for the people who count on us. In a candid, unhurried conversation, we unpack the tension between hustle culture and healing, why productivity isn’t proof of strength, and how a leader can step back without everything falling apart.

You’ll hear how a values-driven team earned trust long before a crisis, then proved it by running the business with clarity and care. We explain why “Family First” means actual family—not the messy “work family” trope—and how boundaries, accountability, and reciprocity let people do their best work. The story of a memorial scholarship brings legacy to life, honoring a grandfather’s craft by expanding “the trades” to include creatives and tech. From using his real signature in the brand mark to anchoring dates in family history, we trace how purpose becomes practical, visible, and meaningful.

Along the way, we rethink perfectionism in creative work—why the raw, imperfect episodes often land the deepest—and challenge the noise of prescriptive routines with a simple, liberating stance: listen to your own rhythm. We dig into mentorship that actually stretches you, rooms where not everyone nods along, and the habit of pushing past success into failure just to keep learning. We also talk honestly about disability and adaptation: losing a sense can reshape a craft, sharpening curiosity, collaboration, and design choices.

If you’re navigating loss, leading a team, or trying to build something real without losing yourself, this conversation offers grounded insight and usable courage. Subscribe, leave a review, and share this with someone who needs permission to slow down and still move forward. What’s one small choice you’ll make today to honor your people—and your pace?

JOIN OUR COMMUNITY:
Discord: https://discord.gg/y6MdmHEGJS
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/hitnrecord/
Website: https://www.hitnrecord.com

Chapters

• 0:00 Pushing Through vs. Letting Grief Lead
• 6:30 Hustle Culture Meets Loss
• 12:00 Accepting New Normal and Team Support
• 18:30 Legacy Projects: Scholarship and Agency
• 25:00 Vulnerability, Authenticity, and Audio “Imperfection”
• 32:00 Control, Freedom, and Slowing With Intention
• 38:30 Loss, Memory, and Keeping Voices
• 45:00 Family First Culture Without “Work Family”
• 52:00 Boundaries, Trust, and Delegation
• 59:30 Mentorship, Learning Rooms, and Honest Feedback
• 1:06:00 Inclusion Through Thought Diversity
• 1:11:00 Disability, Sense Loss, and Crafting Around Limits
• 1:17:00 Preserving Signatures, Letters, and Legacy
• 1:23:00 Rebrand, Milestones, and Looking Ahead
• 1:29:00 Closing Gratitude and Listener CTA

Transcript

SPEAKER_02: 0:00

There is the push to not lose momentum when something big and tragic happens in your life. I was trying to like super heal so I could get back to myself as quickly as possible because I could feel myself slipping in productivity. My thought process wasn't what it normally is. Some days I'm not good. Um I've got a great team. I really can lean on my team. They fill in the gaps for me, and I think it's the mark of a really good team. And um, some days I'm better than I ever was because I can feel his strength helping me. What if I don't try to outwork this? What if I don't try to force it down or try to make use it to be a better person? I just listen to the grief and let it take me wherever it needs to take me. That has given me a lot of grace. It has given me a lot of patience with myself because I can be very um frustrated if I'm not producing at a certain level. The reality is that there's nothing you can do about that. Regret gives us nothing. Spending time on what you could have done doesn't leave you a lot of time for what you can do. And honestly, that's not really advice. That's my lived experience right now. I cannot bring my grandfather back.

SPEAKER_00: 1:22

I cannot call him, I cannot do all of these things, but I can create things that I think that he would get a kick out of the man how do we it's now in this episode, and I'm so honored to have her here because I can't I believe that you guys are gonna learn so much, especially with how she led her company, but also how she developed herself as a person, as a leader, so much more stuff. But keep in mind, this is just an informal, informal conversation. We're just gonna have fun. Um, I'm not doing my socials. You already know. Anyways, and for you guys with hearing loss and disabilities, remember you are not limited by your condition. You are only limited by what you tell yourself. Only when you can break that is when you realize that you are limitless. Thank you for tuning in to this episode. Anyways, you were saying so I do love about how the hustle culture, I just really I don't know if it affected you in that way too, but when I lost my grandma, it almost seems like I lost the opportunity to show that the effort that she put and the sacrifices that she put into bringing my me and my brother into having a better life after having lost a person that did everything for you, it almost makes you feel like you're obligated to make sense of the loss by putting 10 times the amount, even to a point where you kind of lose yourself in the process only for the sake of living up to the legacy that they have left behind. And that's the hardest thing. And I wanted to know first, how are you doing?

SPEAKER_03: 3:15

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00: 3:16

And how have you been able to, you know, make sure that you're okay at the end of the day?

SPEAKER_02: 3:22

Yeah. So I think that's a daily question. Every day is different, you know, losing um someone that's an icon in your life, not necessarily an icon as we think from a celebrity status, but you know, we have our own little celebrities in our life. And I think our grandparents kind of are like that. My grandparents are like that. So um there is the push to not lose momentum when something big and tragic happens in your life. Um, but and I was really fighting that. I was really fighting that. I was like, I'm gonna wake up, I'm gonna take care of myself. Um, I was trying to like super heal so I could get back to myself as quickly as possible because I could feel myself slipping in productivity. My um, my thought process wasn't what it normally is, my tempo wasn't normally what it was. And um, I kept trying to get back to normal. And then I realized that um I got tired of that. I had a really great mentor who would like tell me, like, this is your bullshit, look at your bullshit. And I could feel that. I'm like, why am I trying to force myself to be okay? I'm not okay. I'm probably never gonna be okay in the normal, what I consider to be normal and regular again. And I'm just gonna um let this completely change who I am. If that's what it needs, if that's what needs to happen, I'm gonna let that happen. And so it wasn't like I'm gonna slow down, forcefully slow down, I'm gonna work hard. I was just kind of, I'm just and still just kind of every day is what it is. Some days I'm good, some days I'm not good. Um, I've got a great team. I really can lean on my team. They fill in the gaps for me, and I think it's the mark of a really good team. And um, some days I'm better than I ever was because I can feel his strength helping me. Some days I'm like, wow, that was really dumb. Like, what did I just write? What did I just do? You know? So I would say I'm 50% good and 50% like, you know, but um I'm a human being and I'm just kind of letting it, I'm letting loss do what it needs to do in my life. And that's just kind of the realness of it. And I don't know what that is, Keno, you know, I don't know what that is. I don't know if I'm gonna create something really great from this. I don't know if it's going to completely change the course of my life. I know already there have been some good things that have come out of it. Like we are starting the agency, we're starting a scholarship fund in my grandfather's name for um students that are going into the trades, which was important to my grandfather. So, but the trades now, like you and I know, that means creatives too. Like entrepreneurship is a trade.

SPEAKER_03: 6:20

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02: 6:20

Um, being working on the tech side of creatives is a trade. And so we have the opportunity to create a legacy in his name. So that feels good. Um but I don't know. We'll see. Ask me tomorrow.

SPEAKER_00: 6:33

I you know, I'm in the words of your podcast, by the way, guys. If you guys are looking for a I love this killer pitch that you always have or you that you have in the um in the description, having conversations that will never last more than 30 minutes. And then I was like, yo, that's gold. But um, I what I love and the words of your episode Let It Change You. If you guys are interested in more conversations like that, follow Hello Francis. Did I say that right? Yes, you did. It's on Spotify. Great podcast. And the words of your episode Let It Change You. And I remember this moment when I was doing research, it just hit me because it really touched me in a way that I you said, you know what? I'm just gonna let it change me. And you acknowledge the fact that you have no idea where that's gonna take you. And most times when it comes to crisis loss, we just wanna put our hands around the throat of that crisis and like, let me, let me, let me find out the answer. But yeah, oftentimes it's it's um one thing I definitely learned today is that however you respond to the situation as a leader and as a person, how you respond to it is what will ultimately shape who you are.

SPEAKER_02: 7:46

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00: 7:47

Like in the words of Dark Knight, in the Batman, it's not who you are on the outside, it's what you do that defines. I think I'm screwing that up, but you know what I mean.

SPEAKER_02: 7:57

I really enjoyed that. Uh I really enjoyed that. I think no, I think um from what stuck out to me was something that I saw that Tyler Perry said about grief. Have you seen what he said about grief?

SPEAKER_00: 8:08

No, I have not.

SPEAKER_02: 8:10

He said that he tried to outwork it, outrun it, out-earn it, outdo everything, and all grief did was wait for him to finish. And that really stuck with me. And I thought, well, you know what? Um, I like to learn from the mistakes or, you know, the experiences of other people. What if I don't try to outwork this? What if I don't try to force it down or try to make use it to be a better person? I don't try to use it to do anything. I just listen to the grief and let it take me wherever it needs to take me. And so it that has given me a lot of grace. It has given me a lot of patience with myself because I can be very um frustrated if I'm not producing at a certain level. And um I wouldn't say this is what I needed because what a horrible thing to say. But without it, I don't know that I would have this patience now. Like, you know, because I'm um historically an impatient person.

SPEAKER_00: 9:15

Me too, Chateau. Me too. I'm horrible. It is so painful. It is so painful.

SPEAKER_02: 9:22

I just am, I'm like constantly annoyed. You know, I my tempo is like, I want to go. I want to do it, you know? So, and this is just um, I I don't want to say slow me down because I think that's a little bit a cliche, but um introspective a little bit more intentional, deliberate. Um, and if I'm having a bad day, then I'm just having a bad day.

SPEAKER_00: 9:44

Did it did it ever what were some of the things that you actually came to realization? But because of course you want to go keep going, going, going. Right. But sometimes when we when we slow down, it often reveals what we're also missing when we're going at a speed of light. What were some of the things that it revealed uh to you at the time when you slowed down and you realized, oh my gosh, both personally and professionally, what were some some of those things that you finally had to that you were thankful for finally seeing it for the first time?

SPEAKER_02: 10:15

Um that I can't outwork everything.

SPEAKER_00: 10:17

Okay.

SPEAKER_02: 10:18

That you know, I can't outpace everything, that um things are gonna happen and I just I can't control it. And that's really hard for me because I like to control things. Um I'm extremely motivated by freedom. Um, and I used to think I was motivated, like different points in my life, like, oh, I'm motivated by money, I'm motivated by time with my family, I'm motivated, whatever. I'm just a freedom seeker. And I use my work to get there, use my money to get there, I use everything to get there, right? And so I have no control though over life in a lot of ways. And there are gonna be times where I cannot be free of things that make me uncomfortable, no matter what I do, no matter how hard I try. Um, and so I just need to back back off of that, you know, and and that is really hard if you're I don't like the word control freak because I think that's just a stupid term. Control freak. It's just stuff. But you know, there's just a lot that you can't control and um I can't control. And um, you know, those times are very apparent when they happen in your life, as you know, with your grandmother.

SPEAKER_00: 11:28

Yes.

unknown: 11:29

I know.

SPEAKER_00: 11:30

Can you assume you did this? I know it's emojis. But no, I but sometimes um the loss and even not just loss, but financial, um even personal. Oh there's loss does not discriminate.

SPEAKER_01: 11:48

Yes.

SPEAKER_00: 11:49

It just does not. It comes for us all the same way death does.

SPEAKER_01: 11:52

Yes.

SPEAKER_00: 11:52

It will n it will always find you and just for some reason it's like it sinks its uh closet to you. But the way you going back to what we said earlier is like the way you respond to it is how it would determine how you respond to situation, how the situation will how you view the situation. Um you will create your own definition of how it means to you.

SPEAKER_01: 12:14

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00: 12:14

Some people just go off the rails and lose everything up there. But what I what I have to say is the way you took part of that is that you created a scholarship grant in in the grandfather in your grandfather's name. That right there you're carrying out the legacy. And because as a leader, one of the hardest parts that we have to acknowledge as we get older and as we get better is to realize that ultimately we have to get into the mindset to let the people that are better than us to succeed.

SPEAKER_01: 12:55

Yes.

SPEAKER_00: 12:55

The legacy, if we don't have that, then what you're really doing is you're just taking everything that you've learned into wherever you go into the next life, but you're also doing the disservice to those that you are trying to leave and to those that you're trying to teach and make sure that they're having the opportunity to get to a better life. So I want to acknowledge you for that. Where can people actually apply for that scholarship grant? And how much can you tell us everything?

SPEAKER_02: 13:22

Right. So we're launching it on December 18th, which is my grandmother's birthday. Oh, wow. And back in the day, in the early stages of the agency, we used to do the our 24 hours of change on that day. Because my grandmother is Frances and my grandfather is Roy. So the agency is named after them. Um, and so we're gonna launch it on December the 18th, and we're gonna have a we have a portal, uh page built on our website. It's all ready to go, but it hasn't been launched yet. And then we'll um the deadline is April the 15th, and then we will announce the winner on May the 23rd, which is my grandfather's birthday, and which is very timely. And so this individual must be a high school senior going into a trade school or um someone who is currently in a trade school and wants to continue. And so um, yeah, I mean, I we've never done anything like this before, but our as an agency, I think our talent is to create. And so no matter what happens in life, good, bad, or the other, we're gonna create something from it, hopefully. Um, hopefully it'll be beautiful. Sometimes it's not, sometimes it's total crap and no one should ever see it. Um, but you know, I think this is one of those times where it's gonna be really fun and it's gonna be a great thing for my family. It'll be um a new tradition for my grandfather's birthday that we can celebrate his life in a way that's meaningful that continues his legacy of crafting beautiful things. My grandfather was a carpenter, he made great things. His garage is like so um actually my favorite project from this year is not one that's public that anyone has ever seen, but I took photographs of his garage, like uh uh kind of like lined up like his tool bench, and then I um uh framed them for my son's apartment and I made them for my brother. So they have my grandfather's tool bench in their home as well. And so I think it is just taking all of these things that he created and collecting all of this little screws and his hammers and his wrenches and you know, um pushing that forward and making sure that his life print is still here, you know, which is very important.

SPEAKER_00: 15:29

The third thing to add on to that is the fact that you wanted to celebrate the importance and the value in those who choose to follow the career in the trades. Because like even if you think president, if you think um singer, celebrity, but also the the backbone of our country and everywhere else around the world is also including the people that work every day in it in the trades.

SPEAKER_03: 15:54

For sure.

SPEAKER_00: 15:54

Jobs that don't normally get celebrated enough. And that right there, it's like they do so much of good work that we don't they it almost feels like a thankless job. And so for doing something like that, it you bring awareness and some sort of validation for those that have not been able to get that sign, that some type of attention that they deserve.

SPEAKER_03: 16:17

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00: 16:17

And the other thing is, Gentle. I know the laws it makes it harder to from our personal perspective to give ourselves some grace. So I want you to know that you are a strong person and that it it it's hard to believe what we tell ourselves, but it's uh it's also just as important to believe what other people are telling you because when we don't slow down, we need to hear what they're saying too.

SPEAKER_01: 16:42

Right.

SPEAKER_00: 16:42

You are doing a great job, and you are I almost get inspired by guys, Shando, can you can you drop your socials and talk? Oh sure. Um your whole name and your company. It's uh guys, it's Francis Roy Agency. But no spoilers, go ahead.

SPEAKER_02: 16:57

So I work for the Francis Roy Agency, FrancisRoy.com, and that's Francis with an E, not an I. Okay, that's my grandmother's spelling. Um, and we're um at Francis Roy Agency on Instagram, but you can follow me on Instagram at Chantel PD. I am not a police department, although everyone follows me.

SPEAKER_00: 17:15

Wait, you get comments more people.

SPEAKER_02: 17:17

Every freaking police department in the fire department follows me.

SPEAKER_00: 17:21

Chantel PD. Okay, I did not think about that. Just you're good.

SPEAKER_02: 17:25

Because my middle name is P is an initial P, and then my last name is Dedic. So I, you know, I'm like, oh Chantel PD. That's like Chantel's who I am. And then so when I first got that tag, like on Twitter, my Twitter account was like 90% fire departments and police departments. Oh wow. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00: 17:43

After your username?

SPEAKER_02: 17:44

Yeah, I guess because they were just searching all the PDs.

SPEAKER_00: 17:47

Oh, it's the algorithm.

SPEAKER_02: 17:49

Yeah, they were finding me. So Chantel PD on Instagram. I don't have an X account anymore, but you go into Blue Sky? I don't know. You know, I try not to get very political. And honestly, I didn't leave X because of political reasons. Um I drive a Tesla.

SPEAKER_00: 18:06

I mean, so I just exited out of the conversation. Just let the let the platform do what it's gonna be. It's it's just for me, it's I don't have time.

SPEAKER_02: 18:14

Yes. Okay, there are other platforms that I like to spend my time. X is not one of them. You know, um, I don't have anything like profound uh and prophetic to say. So you sure about that?

SPEAKER_00: 18:28

Your podcast was filled with every wonderful gem stuff again, guys. Follow it. You will get a lot of applicable lessons that will make your life 10x better.

SPEAKER_02: 18:39

And sometimes you will just hear me in my closet on the verge of total collapse, which really yeah, and you know what is crazy about having a podcast is you can spend all of this time on what you think is the best episode that you have ever done. Oh, I am you, oh my gosh, this guest from Australia, like amazing. No one, I mean, she's so incredible, blah, blah, blah. And it's like you put it out there and yeah, it got okay pickup. And then I will be, it'll be 11.59. I'm like, I've got to crank out an episode. I made a promise, I'm gonna do it. I'm at my wit's end. I'm exhausted, I'm tired. I'm gonna record this episode in my closet because that's where I get the best sound. I'm just sitting on the floor with my eye, with my, you know, air paws, and I'm like on the verge of collapse and exhaustion and listenership through the roof. They love it.

SPEAKER_00: 19:28

Oh, wow.

SPEAKER_02: 19:29

Why do you think that is?

SPEAKER_00: 19:31

I mean, the fact that you're going it this far, it had to, it had to do with the promise that you hold to yourself because you hold it sounds like you have a standard that you always want to meet.

SPEAKER_02: 19:40

Do you think it's because people like just hearing people when they're at their wit's end?

SPEAKER_00: 19:48

All of our answers could be the right answers. There has to be no wrong answers. Because there are some people that do have they don't have access to the people that they want to be around with in terms of uh distance, but by having this amazing technology where they can hear your thoughts from another place, they're looking, they're actively looking for uh ways to make the most out of their situation. And so the things that you could say will help them immensely.

SPEAKER_01: 20:11

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00: 20:12

So there's any answers that we give, it's literally that could be the right one. Or all of them is just right.

SPEAKER_02: 20:17

Well, and what I think is so interesting, because you and I talked about audio, like sound.

SPEAKER_00: 20:24

I'm not the best person to talk about this.

SPEAKER_02: 20:26

But yeah, but I hear what you were saying because you were like, are you sometimes recording on your phone? Which is you kindly telling me, why are you not paying more attention to the sound on your phone? On your phone. Oh no, but I know, but I'm what I'm saying is like the episodes where I'm so obsessed with the sound because I'm like, oh, this guest, like I just want it to be perfect. People do not seem to care. And then I will sometimes be in a coffee shop and you can hear the clinking of the cups and everything, and they just and so that is when I decided I don't care. I'm just gonna get strip away this idea of perfect for this podcast. And I'm just going to show up for our listeners. I'm gonna record something, even if it's 10 minutes of me just rambling and being pissed, which I like to call angry brunch, like sometimes that, or if it's this wonderfully produced two-part series with an author that's I'm just gonna create something. And um, sometimes people listen to it and sometimes they don't.

SPEAKER_00: 21:30

Well, see, the funny thing is the episodes they release, I just never even focus on the quality. I just focus on what you were saying. Because like I said, deleted change of episode.

SPEAKER_02: 21:40

I could not give a crap about the sound because I was like, Well, see, that's so interesting because you're a sound like guy, you know? So you think the content is more important. It is. Okay. Well, that's good feedback for me. It is. Okay.

SPEAKER_00: 21:54

Again. Deaf. Please take it with advice. There you go. There we go. Take it with advice. I can take the advice. I can take the advice. Please take it with caution.

SPEAKER_01: 22:03

Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_00: 22:04

This is definitely a reason to be cautioned about. Okay. But I have to say it's just the you can almost there's certain people that will have this personality, but there's no connection because they don't really believe what to say. Where's where like the things that you do say, you believe it so much that people will believe it. And I again go back to most recent episodes, especially the ones where you were so raw and you were just talking things out. In a world where we find everything that's perfect, as corny as a sound, guys, authenticity is the hardest thing to you can't fake that.

SPEAKER_02: 22:38

You can't well, it's very vulnerable. Uh you know, it's a place of vulnerability and no one likes to feel that. I don't, I hate vulnerability. Really? Yeah, but it's where I am the truest form of myself. Like when I feel raw, when I feel exposed, it's where some of the I find my best work. And it's very frustrating. But if I can get there where I feel incredibly vulnerable, like this makes me feel vulnerable. Okay. Um, as it should, you know, I think this is important and um the things that we create are important. And spending time with you is important. It makes me feel um anxious, a little outside of my um comfort zone and a little vulnerable, but um it's worth it. It's worth, it's worthwhile. It's worth doing um to kind of push yourself to get there just a little bit, even if it's not perfect and your ponytail's jacked up and you've been working all day and you know, that kind of stuff. And so I think that's who we really are, is when we're most vulnerable, is who we really are. It's who I really am. I don't like to give advice. You know that.

SPEAKER_00: 23:50

Yes, one episode you said you were talking about the topic of maybe just let people figure it out for themselves because oftentimes when we give, when we're always when we start to establish ourselves as the go-to person for everything, we're not really helping them in a way. We're just constantly giving them a shortcut. Yeah, they sometimes there's a value in just seeing them struggle a little bit because they need to, like you said, they need to be in a zone where they're not comfortable. They have to figure that out. So I actually love that episode, by the way.

SPEAKER_02: 24:19

Thank you for listening to that. Oh my gosh. Um research. Reserved. So um you're so smart, Keno. Um you're so smart. Uh so I feel like every time, each time someone asks me for advice and I provide it, yes, I cannot take that advice back. And they that individual can make large life decisions based on what I'm about to tell them. Do I feel qualified at this point in my life, in my 45th year of life, which my grandmother says you never say two things, your next move and your age. And I just broke that rule. So it's fine.

SPEAKER_00: 25:03

But Damn, I just broke that rule too today.

SPEAKER_02: 25:06

Right, with me. That's fine. And I'm seeing all of these things on like TikTok where we're interviewing 30-year-old people and saying, if you could go back and give your younger version advice, well, I don't know what the hell I would tell myself. I'm not old enough. Like what? And so all I can do is share my experience.

SPEAKER_03: 25:26

Okay.

SPEAKER_02: 25:27

But I'm not gonna tell you what to do with your life because you know, and and I also feel like you need to listen to your intuition. We don't do that enough. There is absolutely agree so much information out there. Everything is a Pinterest board, everything is a do you know what this guy is doing? You need to emulate the CEO's morning routine. He's getting up at 3 45 and he's doing 65 punches. Like, come on. No, no, no, no, no. Come on, it's it's crazy. Like, maybe you're not a morning person.

SPEAKER_00: 26:01

It's not gonna work.

SPEAKER_02: 26:03

Maybe you're not a morning person and you need to listen to your body, you need to listen to yourself, and you need to figure out when you are your best during the day and pour everything into that window. And if it's at 3 45 in the a.m., peace be with you, brother, do it. If it's at nine o'clock at night, let it shine. Yes, you know, and um I think that we're just listening to too much too much noise out in the world. Yes, we're not listening to ourselves.

SPEAKER_00: 26:34

Yes, yes, and with the advice, it just kills that intuition that should have been built on our own terms. It should be natural, that's not true. Not influenced by anybody. Because I feel like if you're influenced by so many people, then you lose the identity that you lose the opportunity to form the identity that you want to have as a person. And by constantly having advice that's being influenced by everybody, you're not really making you're not making you're not giving yourself the opportunity to stand out be with what you want to express. So, guys, action number one. You just heard it from her Shanto Dedicy, Francis War Agency, the CEO, and also the mother of I think it's Jack.

SPEAKER_02: 27:16

My dog, yes, Jack. Jack, yes, Captain Jack. Declan.

SPEAKER_00: 27:21

Yeah, I was there's that D I remember. Yes, yes, cute dog, guys. Anyways, um, I actually do have a question. So you based on you did you talked about advice. You don't want to take advice or give advice, but how is that any different to there's that one episode that you uh had with your grandmother and you and she was like, Yep, what more sort of things you uh could give me or the uh viewers? So how is that any different to her doing that?

SPEAKER_02: 27:48

What a great question. I feel like when you're 88 years old, that is when you ask someone for advice. Like I that woman has lived lifetimes and lived through things. I mean, to me, we don't ask our senior citizens for enough advice. We put them, we we, you know, and I uh love the senior center in Niceville and I love being around the seniors there. And seniors need to be treated like seniors in high school. They need to be put on a pedestal and given the opportunity to offer mentorship. They're not in the last phase of life, they're in the phase of life when they can offer us the most. And so my 88-year-old grandmother has earned the life experience to give advice because the advice that I would give right now, what if like 20 years from now I learn that that's not it? When I'm 88, please text me, call me, I will give me your advice. But right now, no, that's crazy. But I think it's an exceptional question. It's a really good question. Um, my grandmother has earned that. She has lived this incredible life that she thinks is not very big, but has created so many things, right? And um gives the best advice. My grandmother says, if you're gonna tell everyone you're a lady, you're not. I apply that to so many things. Like if I have to go around telling everyone I'm rich, I'm not. If I have to go around telling everyone I'm smart, I'm not. You know, you shouldn't have to just live it. You know, wake up and live your life and be who you are. And uh people will eventually tell you who you they think you are, you know, but you shouldn't have to go around bragging and telling everyone who you are.

SPEAKER_00: 29:39

Then they're just rejecting or to compensating for something if they're doing that all the time.

SPEAKER_02: 29:44

Yeah, maybe. Or, you know, it's they're forcefully trying to, you know, get people to understand who they are, and it's you know, just spend a little bit more time with yourself and figure out like why are you not resonating that way naturally? Um, maybe you're not. Who you think you are, and that's okay, you know, and um you just need to spend a little bit more time with it. I certainly don't know who the hell I am at 45 years old, but I know I'm working on it.

SPEAKER_00: 30:10

And that okay, to add on to I love it's actually it was an actual painful lesson, and also a new one that I just learned just now. A painful lesson and a reminder that I wish I asked my grandma a lot more questions. Yes. Ah, I don't want to cry. It's okay. It's been a year already. It's been a year already. It's okay.

SPEAKER_02: 30:38

A year is not enough. You know what else I've learned about grief is that everyone wants you to be over it, and you don't have to be. You can totally cry and feel comfortable with crying. Cry every day if you want to. Sometimes I'm just at a stop sign and it hits me, and I'm like crying, you know.

SPEAKER_00: 30:56

Yeah, but it's like you not when you say over it, but it's like you think you're over it, and then you're just like, oh, it's it's been a while now. But then you hear something just like it hits like it's yeah, when you said that, I I I keep recalling the conversation I have with my grandma. It's all just, how are you doing now? That's her name, by the way. Uh she raised me. She's the reason why I can speak the way I am. She she uh when I was long story short, she put me on her uh lap. And whenever we go to trips to on the way to my hearing uh sessions, she would point out cloud, can you say cloud, trees, grass? And I'm just like, all the phone calls should have been more than that. It should have been nine. Can you tell me the time how you were able to uh put so many sacrifices with um grandpa? But I don't have that anymore.

SPEAKER_02: 31:51

And it's just like But do you know the answer to that?

SPEAKER_00: 31:54

Huh?

SPEAKER_02: 31:55

Do you know the answer what she would say?

SPEAKER_00: 31:58

I don't. And that's the hardest, yeah, that's the hardest truth that I'm still working on accepting. And it's just like um I would I wouldn't even so I'm not a heavy believer in I lost my weight in in religion, especially in Christianity. But this necklace is my grandma's yeah five years despite all the gifts that she was given. She wore this every sorry, no cursing. I'm sorry, grandma.

SPEAKER_02: 32:27

Oh, we're not supposed to do any cursing.

SPEAKER_00: 32:29

No, you're good. You're good. You're good. I I do this every single time. Um this once is like I tried, I find I keep finding myself thinking I would never do, I keep finding myself praying um just some sort of like even the act of forgiveness. I'm sorry I never did asked you, but I'm gonna try learn from that. And you know, just hearing that, um did you feel like you never asked enough? And do you ever find yourself when you record this episode, maybe when you said 45, did you ever think you were do you ever see yourself finding in a place where you eventually listen to those things and especially what your grandma uh told you? Do you ever find yourself that maybe the person that you are now when you record those, maybe when you get to 45, when you look up at that person, you will have that ability to reflect on that and see if the lessons that she taught you at that age are still applicable at that age that you're going to be.

SPEAKER_02: 33:34

Yeah, for sure. I mean, um, everything we create is a diary, it's a journal in some way, you know? And um I always look back at things that I have written 10 years ago, or even social media posts or whatever, and I'm like, oh my God. So who was that? You know, like who is that? But instead of being hard on myself, I'm I praise and I'm like, you've come a long way, you've learned a lot and continue to learn, like just always being willing to learn, I think is important. My grandmother, um, I spend as much time with my grandmother as I can, especially now, you know. But you know, in my grandfather's last year, I got very intentional. I had the gift of seeing him um sort of get like I had a little bit of time. And so you can't always know that you're gonna have that time, right? That time is not always available. But instead of being like, well, my grandfather is sick, like that's just life. Greg, my husband and I decided, like, no, we want to go home as much as we can for as long as we can. And um, you know, even when I was a kid, uh, my grandfather, who's a great storyteller, um, you know, he was he would always like take out photo albums and and show me. The older I got, the more I started to pay attention. When I was a teenager, I just like, you know, just let them talk. You know, I wasn't really absorbing that because when you're young, you don't see what a gift it is to be old, you know. And so, but the older I got, the more I was like, okay, who is this? You know, and he would look at me like I've told you this like a thousand times. But, you know, I think just sitting with him, being intentional with him, asking him questions was really important. Um, and so I still do that with my grandmother. Like I'm going to um Thursday I leave to go spend some time with my grandmother. And um, cooking is a way of uh creating memories in our family, but it's also a way of creating continuity. And so um my grandmother makes she everything she makes is incredible, you know, and I really love to cook uh a lot. And so I asked her, I said, can you teach me how to make dumplings when we come up there? Because I've always watched her, but never really been intentional with that. But now I'm being I am I am more intentional on purpose because it's not just the time, it's the knowledge. It's the they have so much to teach us, but it's not just our grandparents, it's everyone in our family.

SPEAKER_00: 36:06

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02: 36:07

Everyone that's older than you, you have time to ask them what they know if they're willing to share it with you. Like there are people in your family that you might want to ask questions because you don't want to do that. You there's so there's learning to be had in what you will apply and what you will not apply. Who you want to be and who you don't want to be. And that's okay. It's not negative. Um, and it's not meant to like throw any shade at anyone, but every single elder in your family is like an encyclopedia. And so maybe you don't have that time with your grandmother keynote, but you have it with your mom, you know, and your dad, and those questions, it's not too late to ask those questions to them.

SPEAKER_00: 36:52

You know, they were here this past weekend. I I was with my girlfriend, Amanda and we were driving away, and I I could hear my mom and dad joking, laughing, you know, year and every now and then, but like at the age 26, like, I don't wanna, I don't wanna stop hearing that. Right. And there was a guest that I had on my podcast, uh, Quinn Aaron Lovey Brother, and he said something about the soundtrack of our life. Our parents, grandparents, and it's just like it felt so weird when everything became quiet. I don't want the soundtrack of my parents to go quiet. And the other thing I love what you said was your grandfather and your grandmother seemed to embody this family verse. Yes. And I remember there's one episode that you touched on a little bit, which was you and your husband and you guys worked so much. You but it seems like you're always together, but never took the time to uh really be present. And so, how has that since dropping that episode and also with what you went through with your grandfather and now learning the lesson learning the lessons from your grandmother? How have you been able to take the steps forward to make sure that the family first also it not only exists in your workplace workplace in Francis War agency, but also in your family life?

SPEAKER_02: 38:14

Right. So, family first is our first core value at the agency. Um, and we don't mean our work family. We mean your family should come first. Um, we don't have a work family. Work family, to me, families can be toxic sometimes. You can do things to your family that you wouldn't do at work.

SPEAKER_00: 38:33

Yeah. Uh like putting my brother uh in the snowball.

SPEAKER_02: 38:38

Exactly. But we want to have an environment where you can put your family first. And that is that and that I think clarity is really important. Um, and we don't really call ourselves a work family because uh we're a work team for sure. We're a strong team.

SPEAKER_03: 38:57

The Avengers.

SPEAKER_02: 38:58

The Avengers. We're a strong team. In my opinion, we're one of the best teams. We're the best team I've ever belonged to. Um, but because we're a good team, we can spend time with our families, the time that we need to spend with our families, and we can prioritize them. And that's what family first means to us. My grandparents are great about that. They're great about your family comes first, everything, you know, we, you know, we're always together on holidays, that kind of thing, all through when I was growing up. So um I have found the older I get and the more distractions there are in my life. I am around my people, but I am not with my people. And it can be very easy to be like, well, I'm with my people all the time, but I'm not like sitting with them, asking them questions, being very intentional about our time, um, and and being free of some of the things that really distract us throughout the day. So that's a work in progress for me. Um uh I'm very driven by my work commitment. And so um, you know, not necessarily, you know, being intentional about putting that to the side at times and well, not at times, every day.

SPEAKER_00: 40:12

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02: 40:12

You know, turning that off so that I can be with Greg and our dogs. And I found that I need that. I need it like exercise. If I don't have it, if I don't have that time with him and where I can talk to him, be present with him, um, or be around my kids, they really fuel me up. Then I start to feel tired and I get burnt, not necessarily burnt out from like a work perspective, but I start to get run down. And so that fuels me back up. And I have I need it in my life and I should have it every day, right? Is this time with my people. And so, and I think that they need that for me too, uh, to be better. So we all need it to be better, but um, it is a work in practice because distractions are the real deal. It is so easy for Greg and I to be sitting right next to each other. So we do this thing. Hey, Greg. Hey, Greg. Haven't seen you in a while. We do this thing. We're I mean, we're like every other couple. We like to scroll on Instagram.

SPEAKER_03: 41:18

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02: 41:19

Um, so I'll like mirror it to the Apple TV and we're just scrolling.

SPEAKER_00: 41:25

But you're so you're just focused on the TV. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02: 41:29

We're just like laughing, you know, we're laughing, we're sharing things. You know, it's it's like watching a movie sometimes. And so I think there's a compromise. I don't know if that's very good. But and he screws my algorithm up sometimes too. Oh my god. Because what he likes is not, you know, obviously what I like. So we have like a shared algorithm, I think. Yeah, you know. Um, that's why I had to get off of TikTok because I was like, I I can't have fishing on my FYP. Like, I don't know what this is. But, you know, it's just, you know, this is our day together. We're we cook a lot together. Greg likes curates music for me. He tries to control my mood with music. He doesn't think I know that he does that, but I know he does. So like music is a big part of our life and um and things like that. So, but it doesn't have to be this elaborate thing. It really is, we just want to be home.

SPEAKER_00: 42:20

Hi guys, Kino here. Just want to take a second to say thank you so much to each and every single one of you that has been with me on this journey for hidden record and just sharing all the stories of all of the creatives that have appeared on the show. If you enjoyed deep conversations like this, make sure to hit like and subscribe on YouTube. And if you're listening on a podcast platform like Spotify, make sure you follow that so you won't be out of the loop for every month. Cause I try to drop at least two episodes. So grab your popcorn and soda and let's get back to our conversation. The common thread and all this, it just so happens that you know how they're saying money will bring you happiness. But what I keep hearing is what reviewers you is your family, your kids. Yes. And that doesn't seem like it's the that should have been the right message to be spread across, but not this materialistic, yeah. I wish I knew that when I was younger.

SPEAKER_02: 43:11

I kept You are younger, Keno.

SPEAKER_00: 43:14

No, no, it's just I put so much part in. I will get the best camera and I will define who I am by the best equipment that I have, but no, not anymore.

SPEAKER_02: 43:24

Well, I mean, there's nothing wrong with having a standard. Have a standard.

SPEAKER_00: 43:28

Okay.

SPEAKER_02: 43:29

That's fine. Like we have a style, you know, we have a standard, we have a way of life that we enjoy, but it's not the most important thing. Because if the important, if the most important elements in my life were removed, which is what I learned with my grandmother grandfather's loss, none of that other shit matters. You know, I don't even care. Like, um, I love clothes and I love this and I love that. And, you know, when I was going to my grandfather's funeral, I was like, I don't even care what I'm wearing. Tired, I'm I, you know, it was exhausting. It was, um, so the things that are kind of like the decisions I make in my day that I think are important are, you know, are not the most important decisions. They're sometimes what makes my life a little bit more enjoyable. Like I love beautiful aesthetic, I love, you know, um art and I love clothes and I love owning things and having things. I mean, who doesn't love that? But they are so not the most important things in my life. And I would trade all of those things for the most important things, right?

SPEAKER_00: 44:38

Tony Stark said to his father, and his father asked him, Oh yeah, the smartest thing he ever said to you, or something like that. And then Tony says, Oh gosh, I hate how life imitates art. Money can never money will never buy a second of time back something like that. Right. And like I I am so glad I got a voice memo of my grandma.

SPEAKER_02: 45:02

She was talking about Oh my gosh, you do? That's a what a gift.

unknown: 45:06

I know.

SPEAKER_00: 45:07

I know. I love that. And my um my mom, her iPad just lost everything that we had of her.

SPEAKER_01: 45:15

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00: 45:16

But I found voice memo, and she was talking about her experience in World War II. She's such a strong believer, and you know, I keep saying this in my podcast. It's like one thing I wish I could tell tell my grandma is this. I know that I might be wrong, right? I don't know. But I want one of one of the things I want the most is that you are gonna be the one that proves me wrong. You proved me wrong about religion, you proved me wrong about my decision to leave the whole entire way because I'm willing to accept that truth. Because I know she knew better than I ever did. They always do not get that back.

SPEAKER_02: 45:58

But Kino, don't you think that it's a very specific gift to you that you found that voice memo? Because that is the way that that is your lens in the world is audio, right? It's unique in your world, it's completely unique to you. Anybody else in your family could have found that, and you find it, and that's because that's her gift to you.

SPEAKER_00: 46:26

Oh, we didn't know it at the time. I saw your Instagram. You yeah, you had you had the voice memo. Yes. With your would your uh you call your grandma Mima and then um it's Mima and Papa. Yeah, yep. You saw that, but like, yeah, what a gift.

SPEAKER_02: 46:40

And it's just like Yeah, you have to record you have to keep your voicemails from your people.

SPEAKER_00: 46:44

Yeah, wait, what?

SPEAKER_02: 46:45

Your voicemails, yeah, keep your voicemails. I've got birthday wishes from my grandfather, I've got when he checked on me when the hurricane was coming, and I can keep playing that. And I'm you know, so like don't delete voicemails from your grandparents or your parents or the people who were important to your life. You know, I have voicemails from my husband and my kids and my grandmother. I mean, you just don't know when you're gonna need them.

SPEAKER_00: 47:12

And I like it's it goes it goes both ways too, you know? Like we have to we carry the responsibility to give leave them something behind because we never know either. And it's just like I I think that's earlier we talked about podcasts. Maybe that's it. Maybe that's also one of the answers. People resonate because maybe we what we say and what you say on yours could also be the one thing that they might need needed at the most. Even the the lives that you impact, the way they view you, because they could even put you on a pedestal in terms of you did save their life at one point, and you you never you will never know how much of your words had an impact on them. So that's their own way of keeping a voicemail from you.

SPEAKER_02: 48:00

Sure, yeah. That I mean that's a lot of responsibility. Right? Um but responsibility, sure. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00: 48:08

But it's a want that is that will transcend beyond the materialistic stuff.

SPEAKER_02: 48:14

I I think that's what we all hope for, right?

SPEAKER_00: 48:16

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02: 48:17

That's what we hope for is to create something that helps someone, whether in whatever our medium is, whether it's a podcast or a painting or a poem, that we are doing something that's good with it, you know? Yes.

SPEAKER_00: 48:36

And like going to backtrack on what you said, the fact that you had a family first and that culture that you have fostered in your family. Now, understanding that your grandfather was also one of the first ones in the line of your family that truly had a loss that was significant for everyone, right? How has that been able to, for you, how have you been able to transfer that onto your team? Because each and every one of our team members, whoever we're in we're we're working for, each one of us have a huge and unique impact on the overall team success.

SPEAKER_01: 49:11

Right.

SPEAKER_00: 49:12

And so what have you been able to do after this? Um it's not a tragedy. We would I think okay, first thing I want to touch on is grief. Nothing, stuff like that should never be identified as a tragedy. Sure. It should not, it should be identified as a celebrity. Uh uh no, not celebrity, a celebration of life for sure. And when we carry on the responsibility to live off live on with their values. And so going back to what I said earlier, it's like with your team, what were some of the things that you learned as a leader to take a step back and let your team truly take everything, take the reins.

SPEAKER_02: 49:50

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00: 49:51

Including trust.

SPEAKER_02: 49:53

Well, my team um has done the hard work of building trust. They earned trust a long time ago. So um what I didn't realize was I have always had this ability to step back.

SPEAKER_03: 50:08

That's hard.

SPEAKER_02: 50:10

I've always had that ability to step back. They were always there to do that. Um, I it was a really proud moment for me when I had a client say, your team did such a great job. They actually did better.

SPEAKER_03: 50:24

Oh, wow.

SPEAKER_02: 50:25

Like they were fat, they responded like faster and better than you would have. And I think it was because they knew it was a hard time in my life and they they were compensating for that. You know, obviously they were giving 110%, you know. Um, and so, but I don't think um you have that safety net without trust. Um I learned a lot though how important it is to be there for my team when things like this happen to them.

SPEAKER_00: 50:54

Oh, wow. Okay. Um, and that I really sorry, that's a good boss mentality, by the way. Not a lot of companies do that. So I actually want to acknowledge you on that.

SPEAKER_02: 51:04

Yeah, well, I mean, they this is gonna happen to all of us. We're all gonna experience loss. And so it gives you the perspective of what other people need. Um, and because I knew what I needed at that point, right? Like what I needed was a break. I think we have the opportunity to be the to be a hero in our team's lives when they need it the most. And um, you know, really going above and beyond to make sure that they have everything that they need. They did that for me. You know, um, I didn't have to worry about anything for the first time in a very long time in our business because um you own your own business, so you know like it really owns you. There is not a lot of time that you if you want to um grow your business, it's really hard to take a lot of time off. Um, you can do it. It that's your choice, of course. Um, I choose not to do that. And so um I push, push, push, and then but I needed this time, right? I needed to take this time off. And so my team just rose to the occasion. They I mean, they made me realize that I I was probably um not taking enough time off.

SPEAKER_00: 52:19

Oh wow.

SPEAKER_02: 52:20

So, and I know I can do that. I mean, they're very high performing teams. Super, yeah, super proud of them. I mean, I don't know that I'm in a position of pride because it's I don't I don't own the performance of my team.

SPEAKER_00: 52:38

Okay.

SPEAKER_02: 52:39

It's collective.

SPEAKER_00: 52:40

Okay.

SPEAKER_02: 52:41

Um, but I think that uh I certainly was in awe of them. Um very humbled, very inspired, very motivated by by their um the way that they kind of rose together and did everything. Not that I do so much that it took them all, you know what I mean? But just the feedback from clients was we didn't miss a beat. You were f they were great, you know. Um, so really in awe of that.

SPEAKER_00: 53:07

One thing I will appreciate about the age is that you are now limiting what you like. You said the noise, the noise, you're now closing off certain things, the noise. One thing I will appreciate is that I love that I want to learn. I still need to learn.

SPEAKER_01: 53:22

Yes, always.

SPEAKER_00: 53:23

And one of the books, guys, I recommend it. It's called the uh the the leader loss of leadership. Okay. Man, why am I forgetting the author? I'm sorry, whoever you are who wrote it. I'm so sorry. But one of the things that it said in there was like when you're a leader, every decision, almost everybody will blame you for it. And that's the hardest thing because you are the one that's steering the ship. But what your team did, that is such a beautiful and a hard thing to accomplish because it's hard enough to um get everyone to agree to put their ego aside and see the bigger picture, the mission.

SPEAKER_01: 54:01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00: 54:01

And on top of that, to treat each other like family, that's a hard and a rare thing to cultivate in a work environment.

SPEAKER_02: 54:10

Yeah. And well, I think it's because we don't treat each other like family.

SPEAKER_00: 54:14

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02: 54:15

We treat each other better than family.

SPEAKER_00: 54:17

Hmm. What's better than family?

SPEAKER_02: 54:18

I don't know what other word that's it's well, because you don't always treat your family very well. Not you, but some people.

SPEAKER_00: 54:24

Okay.

SPEAKER_02: 54:26

True great with your family. Yeah. And I try to be great with my family too, but we take liberties with our families that we don't take with others.

SPEAKER_00: 54:34

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02: 54:35

You know, we um and I I think that that's not always appropriate for the workplace.

SPEAKER_00: 54:43

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02: 54:43

For a high functioning team, you can't have the drama of a family.

SPEAKER_00: 54:48

Then the thing is, like what you said, there are gonna be hard things that are gonna happen. Eventually you're gonna have to let your guard down and let them see for who you really are. And that now would embolden them to be like, okay, I can see that you're human. You're not just a machine that wants to go, go, go. Right. We have our moments of weakness.

SPEAKER_02: 55:05

So I think it's but I But that that's them seeing me as a human, not a family member. And I think that because they're a very high-functioning team, um, we're like any high-functioning team. You close the ranks, you do what needs to be done. And then at that time, it allowed me to be with my family the way that I needed to be with my family. And I don't mean it like all families are bad. I just I don't think that the dynamic at work and the dynamic in our families, they shouldn't be the same. Unless you work with your family, and then that's whatever. I have that's a whole different thing. That's a whole different thing, right? Like I have a family, like my I have my own business. So naturally, sometimes my business is a family business, right? Like my son Greg owns his own um website company that we contract to. So proud of you. Love you, Greg. And it's uh Kironeco Digital.com. Very fantastic. Um, so really proud of him. Uh, but at work, we're working. And um, and that can muddle the lines a little bit, right? When it's your family, because um, but the dynamics of a family um and the things that you do, the decisions that you make to protect your family, they don't mirror the decisions that you have to make at work. You know, I mean, maybe there are some jobs out there that do that that have to be more like another tragedy here caused by me. Uh you know, but our work is not life or death. You know, it's professional, it's polished, I like to think. It's um collaborative. And in order to do that, everybody has to show up and and um really be their best functioning self. And um if not, that's what we have unlimited PTO for.

SPEAKER_00: 56:55

Unlimited pay time off? Wow.

SPEAKER_02: 56:58

Take one of those days, friend.

SPEAKER_00: 57:00

Yeah, I'll be gone for uh two months in the Himalayas. I'll be back, guys. You could uh send me a rock mail. I'll get to it when I can.

SPEAKER_02: 57:07

But but but families can be volatile, they can be passionate, they they can be um unpredictable, you know? And that that, in my opinion, is not a fit for a high functioning team.

SPEAKER_00: 57:22

Yeah. Because a team you need to be stable, consistent, but it's well, I'll just honest.

SPEAKER_02: 57:28

For sure. Honesty, you know, for sure. Not that, but I'm just there there are crossovers. But um, I'm I'm just really firm and I don't think that the work family is healthy.

SPEAKER_00: 57:41

Because like leadership also applies into the personal life too. Because the what you learn from um your personal life in terms of leadership can also apply to work, but it's hard to wear the line with that one. If you say honesty with just family support, because who you are, like from from what I've known ever since I interned for you guys by what oh guys, by the way, if you're looking for internships and if you want to uh tidy up your skills as a graphic designer or a business leader, leadership skills, anything like that, go to Francis Royal Agency. They have a page for internships. We do. Well, oftentimes you have to see they will they will have posts where they look for a specific position. Other times, if you think you have something to offer that's not listed, you can email them. Anyways, this episode is sponsored by Ohila!

unknown: 58:31

I'm kidding.

SPEAKER_00: 58:32

But like what I appreciate, what I've learned from you is that go-getter, you're a go-getter, you believe in the quality, every single thing. But it's hard enough to separate who you really are from personal and workplace. And for example, like Hillary, Hilary, you're awesome. How are you able to take the steps to delegate? Because like even if you can't accept um, if you even if you can't find a way to separate who you really are in the family um dynamic or family aspect for the lack of a better word, how are you able to delegate some of parts, some parts of yourself, some parts of yourself to your team members? Like Hillary, right? Yeah.

SPEAKER_02: 59:15

Janae, Hillary, um every every person on my team. Well, I mean, Hillary's been with me since the beginning, you know. I mean, and so is Janae. I mean, it's been really the three of us and Kelsey since the beginning. Um, you know, it's so difficult because um my team, I would kill for my team like a family would, right? Like if Hillary called me right now and said, I need you to do X, Y, Z, I'm in trouble, I would drop everything and I would do it. Because not because we're a family, but because I respect her and she has earned that respect. And she has been incredibly loyal, and I am loyal to her. Um, she's dependable and she knows that she can depend on me. It is a responsibility. Reciprocated relationship that is built on trust. It is also a very professional relationship because one of the very first promises that I made to Hillary was to always put her career development before friendship.

SPEAKER_03: 1:00:15

Oh, wow.

SPEAKER_02: 1:00:16

And I think that that's important. Um, you know, too often we try to be quick to be friends. And when you are friends with someone, you will make decisions that will preserve that friendship. And sometimes you have to make decisions that are better for that person professionally. That will help them advance. And the friendship muddles that, Keno. It it blurs it. My commitment to Hillary is a lifelong commitment. I and everybody on my team that I'm going to sponsor you, I'm going to propel you. I'm going to be your champion. Are we going to hang out on the weekends? No, that's for your family. That's for your family. Do I um there are certain members of my team that would have been with me for such a long time that I love and admire them and respect them like Hillary and Janae and, you know, um certainly almost everyone at this point because we have very low turnover, which is fantastic. But my commitment to them is a professional commitment. Um, it is a position of I will champion your success. And if we're buddies, I will do everything that I can to protect the friendship. And I'm that may, that may be not always putting you first. Oh my gosh. I think that that is so tough. It is so tough because um, you know, there are some people who work for me, they're so fun. Like I want to be friends with them. I want to hang out with them. I'm doing them a disservice by being their friend. I need to be their champion, Keno. And I can't do that if I'm their best friend.

SPEAKER_00: 1:02:13

That's actually the one of the topics of this conversation today that I have in my team.

SPEAKER_02: 1:02:17

Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_00: 1:02:18

It was I was frustrated with that aspect.

SPEAKER_02: 1:02:21

It's so hard. And that's why, you know, it's difficult to work for your family and it's difficult to work for your friends. Because they will treat you and you will treat them with the concept and idea that your relationship is always gonna hold everything together. No. And it will not.

SPEAKER_00: 1:02:42

Accountability gets lost. Correct. Because we as friends are like, oh, you're late on what you it's okay.

SPEAKER_02: 1:02:48

It's not okay. It's not. It's not okay you should be charging your friends and family more.

SPEAKER_00: 1:02:54

Hey, Aaron, you're late for Thanksgiving. All right. By by tomorrow, I'd want$100,000 for being late. But I get it. It's like you you lose accountability, you start to lose the quality of the work because all because you're sliding, you're letting things slide just to protect our feelings for it's not. I don't understand why. How is it I don't even know this that's the one thing I I will admit. It's like, how do you even begin that process or conversation? It was it's easy for me to see it before the other person, how do you even begin to have that conversation to make them not feel like you're not any less of friend? It's just that's a delicate conversation to have because you have to watch out for their ego and their feelings. But at the same time, you're trying to give them their best.

SPEAKER_02: 1:03:46

Well, and I don't mean all of this by saying that it's not personal. You know, I hate it when people say it's not personal, it's business. That's not this. That's not what I'm saying. You know, I think it's um having boundaries and allowing other people to also have boundaries, seeing and respecting their boundaries. And if the people who are on my team do not view me as someone who is going to champion their success, first of all, they may feel hesitant to be honest with me when things are really important. They may be hesitant to tell me how they really feel because they don't want to hurt my feelings. And so it's not really the removal of emotions, but it's just clarity. It's transparency. It's saying that I am gonna champion your success and I'm gonna put your professional career first. Your personal stuff is actually your responsibility.

SPEAKER_00: 1:04:44

Yes, agree.

SPEAKER_02: 1:04:46

It is your responsibility, you know? And but there have been big things that happened at the agency. Hillary's pregnant right now. Whoa. Yeah, she's got a baby due next month.

SPEAKER_00: 1:04:56

My first or second or her second baby.

SPEAKER_02: 1:04:58

Oh and honestly, no one's gonna love that baby more than me.

SPEAKER_00: 1:05:02

Well, maybe are you already already are you already not giving are you not giving the opportunity to Hillary to assign you? You're just gonna I love you, but I'm already DM. Right motherfucking.

SPEAKER_02: 1:05:13

No, her her sister and her mom, obviously, her husband. What? But like M. Janae had uh, you know, a baby. People have gotten married, like all of these things have happened, and I love that for them. I'm I'm happy, it's it's amazing. Um, it's you know, am I in someone's wedding? No. There are boundaries, you know? There are boundaries, and I want those boundaries to exist so that they can live their life to the fullest, and I can live my life to the fullest.

SPEAKER_00: 1:05:46

And there's no love loss if you just establish the right steps to make that possible.

SPEAKER_02: 1:05:51

I think you have to have an honest conversation and you have to say, what I want to prioritize here is the success, your success here. And in order for me to do that, then you have to be responsible for your personal success. I will be a champion in your professional success. Um, but does that mean that you don't love that person? You're you don't think they're fun and awesome and cool and um, you know, I you know, no. I mean, obviously you do. I admire everyone on my team. They're so talented, they're interesting, um, you know, but are they staying the night at my house? And, you know, no, every now and then I have parties in my house and they'll come or whatever. But, you know, we're not like going on girls' trips and, you know, it's just there's a bounce, there's a line. Miss D, I have a question. I'm sorry. I'm just talking. I have a question.

SPEAKER_00: 1:06:47

Yes. How are your team members able to differentiate seeing you as a friend, seeing that you are going through something that's very difficult? Yeah. But at the same time, how are they able to balance between the friendship but also the responsibility of who they are as a team player? Yeah. And also you from your perspective as a CEO, but also a friend, to give them the space to understand why you're going through.

SPEAKER_02: 1:07:10

Yeah, this is so easy for me to get through this. This is so easy for me to answer Keenel because I think my team knows me and they knew what I needed was for them to take care of business so I could be with my family. They weren't worried about being my friend at that time.

SPEAKER_03: 1:07:26

Oh, wow.

SPEAKER_02: 1:07:26

Because I was surrounded by my family. They took care of the agency, and that's what I needed from them. And they did it better than I could have done it. They totally rose the occasion, they killed it, they knocked it out of the park, and that's what I needed. And I think that that communication, the clarity that we have, the transparency, they it it wasn't a question. I didn't need them to be calling me all the time and checking on me. I needed them to make sure that my business was still there when I returned. And that's what they did. And that I think that that comes from having a culture of honesty and trust and building that from the very beginning. And I mean, yes, were they texting me and hey, just check it in? Are you okay? Hillary is specifically because Hillary is very intuitive. And you know, we've she's Hillary's my right hand, you know, and it has been. And because of that, she knows if she doesn't hear from me, something's wrong.

SPEAKER_00: 1:08:27

Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_02: 1:08:28

She'll be like, You're too she'll she'll call me and say, You're too quiet. What's going on?

SPEAKER_00: 1:08:31

I'm just borrowing her for this. Okay, Hillary, you can calm down.

unknown: 1:08:35

Right.

SPEAKER_02: 1:08:36

She's like, You're too quiet, but she knows me really well. And um, I think that uh that is only developed with time.

SPEAKER_03: 1:08:44

Okay.

SPEAKER_02: 1:08:45

They knew that what I needed them to do was be strong on the business side because you know it's that's my way of life. That's how I feed my family. It's how I'm um building something to hand down to my children if that's what they want. Um and so they knew that if they took care of that, then I could take care of everything else. And and that's what happened.

SPEAKER_00: 1:09:10

See, going to I love I think we can all agree to the value, the mentorship that your grandparents have given you. But now, in the future, when you mentor someone who's just enough, just walk through that door, 18 years old. Yes, here's my resume, Miss D, I'm ready. Yes, what are some of the things that you will eventually because I know you say, I don't know, I'm not gonna give advice. I get it. Yeah. But for the sake of this conversation, in order for them to truly rise up to the occasion, because I believe that the leadership has the responsibility not only for themselves, but also the good of the company and the people that they look after. And part of that is to cultivate the opportunity and the environment to give them a chance to naturally learn how to look after the company and also you. So there are a lot of things that you have done. Guys, I'm telling you, it's a real deal. Okay. So when an 18-year-old, 20-year-old, whoever walks through the door, yeah, what are what are the things they what oh my gosh, I'm already stuck in because I'm already excited. What are the things that they need to keep in mind when they get into when they get their first step through the door and at whatever companies that they're applying for?

SPEAKER_02: 1:10:24

Right. I think um to understand that um just be honest with what they're looking for. Um expect I think everybody to be human in the process, to not have to know everything, um, to be okay with looking back and feeling a little cringy at maybe what you might have said or done. And that's totally normal. Everyone does it. Um, you know, uh one of my favorite mentors, and he's still a mentor for me, Darren Rudloff, he was my boss in Wyoming. I absolutely adore him and brilliant man. He said, everyone puts their pants on the same way, one leg at a time.

SPEAKER_00: 1:11:07

That's actually uh so simple, but actually effective.

SPEAKER_02: 1:11:10

So simple, it's extremely effective. And um, I think what he what I always felt like he meant by that was that uh we're all humans having a human experience and that no one's better than anyone, and that you don't have to be afraid. And um, you might be afraid, and that's okay to be afraid, but the person interviewing you is just as scared to I am scared, guys. Yeah, they're just as scared, right? Like you showing up, you're you're um anxious and you're vulnerable and you're overwhelmed and you don't know what's gonna happen next. And guess what? The person interviewing you is also feeling that in a different way. Um, they don't know if you're the right person. And maybe they've hired they've interviewed a hundred people and they're exhausted and they're overwhelmed and they're anxious. Um totally be yourself. And if that is the right situation for you, then you it will fuse together. Be yourself and your people will find you. And that way when that match happens, you don't have to worry about keeping up the facade of someone that you aren't for a very long time. Um, and if you're yourself and they don't want you, then that just wasn't for you and you weren't for them, and that's okay. Um, not everything is not everyone that's come to the agency has been a match. We haven't always been the right thing for them. And they haven't always been the right thing for us, you know, and um not from like an exclusion kind of way, but um because we hear a lot like, oh, it's so cool, like it's gotta be so great to work here. Not everyone has thought it is a great to work at the agency, you know. Some people walk away from the and they're like, that was total crap. Oh my god, that was not for me, and that's totally fine. You know, that is totally fine. Um at 18 years old, I was just I couldn't even drive. I was like so terrified. And I had a baby.

SPEAKER_01: 1:13:07

Oh, wow.

SPEAKER_02: 1:13:08

Yeah. So I had a I had Gregory very young. And I mean, he was a baby. It was like me and him and Greg. And it was terrifying. The whole world was terrifying. But what I know is you're gonna get through that. You're gonna get through it. You're gonna just put one foot in front of the other. No one is better than anyone. Everyone just wants to figure it out. Um, and we're all humans having a human experience. And um at the end of the day, Kino, like all of my success and all my failures have been very similar.

SPEAKER_00: 1:13:43

Hmm. Really?

SPEAKER_02: 1:13:45

Yes. They've all been similar and they've felt similar. Every big win has kind of felt a little bit like and every failure has been a little bit.

SPEAKER_00: 1:13:55

Maybe it's it's because the standard of what how you are defined a success is I don't think so.

SPEAKER_02: 1:14:00

I think it's because uh we're always looking for that end result.

SPEAKER_03: 1:14:04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02: 1:14:05

And really the end results are not all that disseminate, they're not all that different. You know? And so um you might as well just enjoy it because really the living is in in trying things, failing at things. Um, I kind of push to failure sometimes. Um, I'll push past a success into failure purposely so I can learn something new. Um, and I think that's really important. I'm sometimes happier in a fail state. I don't know if that's good, but um every major launch point for me has been right after a significant failure, a big one. Some of the best things that ever happened in my life came right after huge catastrophic failures.

SPEAKER_00: 1:14:55

But some people are just so terrified to even um realize that because they're still uh reeling in from that. And it takes it takes a certain type of I don't even know what that looks like because every one of us are unique in how we respond to it. And this actually, the way you describe that reminds me of the quote, which is the pebble and the mountain.

SPEAKER_02: 1:15:16

Um that's my favorite quote.

SPEAKER_00: 1:15:19

Yeah, and it's like the you p the pebble and the mountain, and then the difference is how you ask it to move, how you ask to move it.

SPEAKER_02: 1:15:28

So the difference between a mountain and a pebble is in who you ask to move it.

SPEAKER_00: 1:15:32

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02: 1:15:33

Correct. And so I'm looking for my pebbles in this world.

SPEAKER_00: 1:15:37

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02: 1:15:38

Yeah. If this thing is a giant mountain, there's probably somebody better and smarter for it. And I'm gonna find them and it's gonna be their pebble, and they're gonna flick it, and it's gonna be beautiful. And it might take me two years to get to that point that it took someone two weeks to get to. But I love that quote because I think it illustrates the importance of having a smart team and having surrounding yourself with people who have different talents than you and being humble enough to know that you're not the smartest person all the time.

SPEAKER_00: 1:16:12

Ah, the topic of today's We have so many topics. Why are you hitting so many topics from today before why? Because I'm a podcast host. I'm just kidding. No, no, no, not this. What happened outside before the podcast? That's the exact same topic that I had to talk about. I am sick and tired of being told that I'm really good at what I what I do. I want for once in my life to be told that, hey, um, you need to learn this. I I I'm tired of being told that I'm good at the camera, I'm tired of the lighting. I don't want any of that anymore. Right. I want to be humble for once to know that I still have a long way to go. Because I realize there's so much value in that. I don't want to have yes man's, all of this. And it's just like when you said you you need to have people who are smarter than you, who are way better than you, and and the ability, and the fact that you said you admitted to to to saying that it might make it might take me two years to do it. Right. To acknowledge that it will take for you that that amount of time to learn requires humble and acceptance. Not a lot of leaders tend to have that because they're all about I'm great at what I do, I made this possible, this and this and that, but they never think about it. I mean, it's not just me, it's the we. It's the we in the team that made things possible.

SPEAKER_02: 1:17:34

100% the we. If if if we didn't have Hillary, we wouldn't have a podcast. I have wanted to quit that thing so many damn times. I can't even tell you. She is the reason why we have a podcast. Wow. She is the driver, the consistency, the um, she talks me into it. And now JC on our team does this too, you know, and Kelsey on our team, but they guys. I know they're amazing. They they hold my feet to the fire. They um, you know, they they remind me of the promises that I made. They're um uh very consistent. I I think that if you are in a room and everyone is nodding their head, you've heard that.

SPEAKER_03: 1:18:14

Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_02: 1:18:15

You've got to find other rooms too. You don't necessarily need to replace that room because you have something to offer there. But, you know, pushing yourself out and um learning from others is incredibly important. Um, and there's a lot of value in finding mentors and seeking mentors intentionally. And I don't mean like, I mean, I love podcasts, you know, I'm a podcast host, but listening to the podcast, a podcast, is not the same as sitting down with someone who has knowledge that you do not have. The one-on-one asking questions, um, bringing a problem to them that is specific that they can help you solve. Like nothing replaces that. That's so true. Nothing replaces that.

SPEAKER_00: 1:19:03

Oh, you have described that so perfectly. I've been looking for a way to describe that, and you actually place because I it's uh and I love the one where everyone's nodding your head um all the um all the time. It's like at least there's a value in someone to quest challenging the status quo to a certain extent. Sure. Is because if you are not constantly reminded of the things that you are not doing better on, then you're just plateauing. At least being told about what you are not good at is the best way to grow. Yeah. And also, guys, we are also running out of time.

SPEAKER_02: 1:19:38

Oh damn it! Oh no, that's gone so fast. Oh my god.

SPEAKER_00: 1:19:41

I know. I that's crazy.

SPEAKER_02: 1:19:43

I know you're gonna have to cut some of this out.

SPEAKER_00: 1:19:46

Oh no. A little bit. The longest, the longest episode that I've had to edit, and I don't use AI because I pride myself in going from the beginning to the end. Four hours. Oh my god. Yes. I had a guest. Uh that's Quinn Irwin. That's the one I because we got so into the conversation, yeah, and we just forgot everything. And I was so proud of that. Because yeah, tired, cool, but for hours. Wow. I could only I only got it down to three hours. I think hungry.

SPEAKER_02: 1:20:20

I'm gonna need a snack. I need a little rice.

SPEAKER_00: 1:20:27

30 minutes. I kid you not. Can't do it. 20 minutes was just death silent, like quick silence. Not like it was just like it added up to that much, and then the jokes that I need to protect your identity or your image. But under that, four hours was the longest runtime. Wow, that's impressive. What?

SPEAKER_02: 1:20:46

That's impressive.

SPEAKER_00: 1:20:48

Yeah. And anyways, I I don't know where we're going. But um, yes, guys, we are running out of time. Unfortunately, I just love to there's so much more to be talked about, and that's why aspire, always aspire to look for mentors. Chantel is one of them. She's here, ready to take you on. Just don't ask too much advice. Okay, you're gonna need to learn. Okay.

SPEAKER_02: 1:21:11

I'll I'll do my best to um share my experience in that situation or provide an example of another um wonderful human that can share.

SPEAKER_00: 1:21:20

Okay, there you go. You just heard it. Now, there are a couple of things I want to just wrap it up. First, I still, you know, after I left the internship, again, great internship. Okay. Um, after I left, it seems like you you guys kept a consistency in keeping a uh female-centric team, which is great. Because I don't think there's enough recognition and awareness that a team that's filled with female deserves the amount of recognition for a opposite gender team. Yeah. So, like, what are I just want you to, I want to give you the opportunity to start breaking down some of the misconceptions and the myth of female empowerment and having a team that's led by women and also being led by someone who is a woman too. What are I would love to give this opportunity for you to speak on that because that is a real issue that needs to be fixed too.

SPEAKER_02: 1:22:16

I don't know if you're gonna like my answer.

SPEAKER_00: 1:22:17

What?

SPEAKER_02: 1:22:18

I don't know if you're gonna like my answer.

SPEAKER_00: 1:22:19

All right, I'll tune out my hearing aids, but no, no, no, no. We're all about authentic authenticity.

SPEAKER_02: 1:22:26

I love I love that. So um that's not intentional.

SPEAKER_00: 1:22:30

What?

SPEAKER_02: 1:22:30

It's not intentional. We um this diversity and inclusion in our um agency is the way that we practice that is thought diversity. We want people who think in different ways, people who have different educational backgrounds, different experiences, come from different places. It just so happens for us, those people have been women predominantly. Um, we've had guys on our team, um, but it but it it isn't like we are a female fueled agency on purpose. We the women who are on our team just happen to be the best and smartest people for the job. And they all just happen to be women right now. And that might not always be the case, and it certainly hasn't always been the case in the past, but um I don't know that I can honestly say that that intention has been because I want a female-led team. Um I want the smartest people for the job. And those people on my team are women.

SPEAKER_00: 1:23:45

And I think one of the beautiful and scary thing is that our decisions often have um unintended um results. Right. And when I see that, when I saw your team roster, I was like, good on you for just sure giving the confidence because like, dude, the world is gonna be, it's it's gonna be more divisive, it's gonna be more chaotic than ever. But to have a voice that advocates whether intentional or not, yeah, it's the best way to at least make a contribution to a better world, no matter how small or big that is.

SPEAKER_01: 1:24:18

Sure.

SPEAKER_00: 1:24:18

And so I even if it wasn't intentional, I still have to acknowledge you. Acknowledge you on that.

SPEAKER_02: 1:24:25

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00: 1:24:26

And thank you.

SPEAKER_02: 1:24:28

I mean, 10 years from now, I could be leading an all-male team. I don't know.

SPEAKER_00: 1:24:31

It's gonna be like an NBA.

SPEAKER_02: 1:24:34

Like a hunting. I don't know. But regardless of um gender or background or education, um, I feel confident they're gonna be the smartest people.

SPEAKER_00: 1:24:48

Okay, actually now the follow-up question is this for the people, for the community that I want to represent and help them give an opportunity to have the same opportunities that we do, what can what are some of the things that you can say to them, even though you may not have direct experiences of what that is actually like? What are some of the things that this is the one time I'm going to ask for advice for that community? What are some of the advice that you can give to those that have disabilities and hearing loss to know that they can do this?

SPEAKER_02: 1:25:19

Right. So um my best lived experience is that I always listen to myself first.

SPEAKER_01: 1:25:29

Okay.

SPEAKER_02: 1:25:30

And my gut, she knows she's smart. And if something doesn't feel right, it's not right for me.

SPEAKER_01: 1:25:39

Okay.

SPEAKER_02: 1:25:40

And I ask myself first, I check in. Um, and I think that I try not to reach outside of myself for the answer so much. I know what is right for me. And I think whether you have a disability or not, I personally I am down a sense as well. I have not had a sense of smell for over 30 years. Yep. And so, and it's ironic a little you cook and you I know. So it's a little bit ironic because I cook. What? And I can't smell anything that I cook ever. And have not for, you know, a very, very, very long time. Not quite 30 years, but like 25. So um, I was in zero. I have complete dysplasia. Um, I can't, if you were this is a horrible illustration, but if you were to hold dog poop up to my nose right now, I would smell nothing. So despite our disabilities, we can still do the things that we love. We can still experience them in different ways. Um, cooking for me, because I can't smell, like I don't have that experience with food. But Greg is my nose, and he and I connect. I need him. We connect that way. But I have different textural experiences with food. Texture is everything for me. The balance of texture. I'm I spend more time with it and I'm more deliberate with the way that I cook because I'm down a sensory ability. And so I don't think our disabilities should hold us back. I think they should push us to appreciate and learn in ways that other people cannot learn and to seek experiences and um uh kind of look for, be a little bit more curious than someone would be who just takes for granted that they can hear, right? Just I take that for granted. I spending time with you reminds me what a gift it is for me to hear, you know, and that I need to um appreciate that more and that you really kind of open my eyes to that, right? So that sitting with you, I'm like, okay, I shouldn't take that for granted, this ability that I wake up and take for granted every day. And maybe on the flip side of that later on, when you're drinking out of your drink and you could not smelling. Are you or you're you know eating french fries, you might smell them a little differently and a more intention because you know that I cannot? And so I don't think it should deter us, Kino. I think it should just make us realize that we're unique because we don't experience things the same way, but we can make our other senses sharper.

SPEAKER_00: 1:28:33

Does that mean are we required to have loss, no matter what skill it is, to truly learn? Because how are we able to truly understand what we have in front of us is something that's truly valuable? That's so is it really possible to truly understand the value of something in front of you without experiencing some type some type of loss?

SPEAKER_02: 1:28:54

I think you found the theme for your whole episode, right?

SPEAKER_00: 1:28:57

Yes.

SPEAKER_02: 1:28:58

It's the thread that that loss makes us appreciate everything it you know makes us see in ways that we wouldn't have seen or seen before or experienced things that maybe we wouldn't have experienced. So I think it's a great question. Um, it's a beautiful question. And it it probably is true in a way, is you know, we have to suffer a little as humans. We have to suffer on some level in order to really live life the to the fullest, probably, whatever that means. Um but the suffering is important and it's part of the human experience. We seek to never suffer.

SPEAKER_00: 1:29:42

But the whole definition of human condition is to suffer in So the question is you know, if I could smell, would I be as good at I mean, this is this is the reality.

SPEAKER_02: 1:29:55

I'm only good at so many things. Cooking is one of them. Ain't gonna lie, I can throw it down. But would I maybe cook the way that I do now if I could smell? I don't know.

SPEAKER_00: 1:30:08

I think that you're you're right. I I don't know. It's almost like the same uh question as what's the meaning of life? No, I don't know that answer. I don't wanna and I don't want to I don't wanna get into that. But like what I mean is like that's almost the same equivalent to that level of is there an answer to it? And I I think well actually not rephrase there is an answer to it, but only when we reach 88, 90.

SPEAKER_02: 1:30:33

Yeah, how yes, that was a very smart wrap-up there. It's so true. Like my grandmother probably knows, you know. I have no idea. I have no idea.

SPEAKER_00: 1:30:46

So, where what are some of the next projects that you're working on as Chantel Dedicate? Yeah, and also as the leader of Francis Roy Agency. What are some of the things that's coming up for you guys?

SPEAKER_02: 1:30:57

Uh well, my grandfather's uh memorial scholarship that's coming up, that's the big one. Um, we are already starting to think about our 10 years at Francis Roy because we're in our ninth year. So thank you so much. So we are gonna go through a big rebranding project. It'll be our first one um to celebrate 10 years. So those are the big things.

SPEAKER_00: 1:31:18

Oh, I'm so sorry. There's one question you just said rebranding. I know you said the importance of the handwriting with your grand uh how what are you gonna do to preserve that? Because that was such a beautiful message that you had. Right. What are you gonna do to preserve that?

SPEAKER_02: 1:31:34

Well, I'm I think I put it on everything I can.

SPEAKER_00: 1:31:37

Okay.

SPEAKER_02: 1:31:37

Well, and okay, so I'm gonna try not to cry when I tell you this because it is it shocked me. But when we were developing the logo for my grandfather's scholarship, Janae, who was our art director, she's now the senior director of design at the agency. She just got promoted. Way go. Yay! Um, she said, You know, I have your grandfather's signature. Wow. And I was like, what? When did she have that? Like, how did she get that? And I guess a long time ago, in the beginning of the agency, we were gonna name our um email the Roy Report.

SPEAKER_03: 1:32:10

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02: 1:32:10

And we had my grandfather write, just like my grandmother's Francis signature, we had him write his name. He printed his name, and we never used it because we don't call it that. We call it hello, Francis, right?

SPEAKER_03: 1:32:23

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02: 1:32:24

Um, and so now my grandfather's actual handwritten print is the logo of the scholarship that's in his honor. So the preservation, I think, of that is just the things that we touch, the our our voice, what how we write, how we do all these things, they deserve to be preserved. And we do that at the agency by um using their signatures and using it as our logo mark. And and that will not go away in the rebrand, but I know that crazy. It gave me chills. I thought I was gonna lose it, and I hate crying.

SPEAKER_00: 1:32:59

So I don't my grand my mom was she um she traveled to the Philippines and she was cleaning out my grandma's stuff. I remember this room, um, it was filled with our toys that we were given, and she was cleaning out, and there was a book, it was a Bible. Mom was going through it really difficult, and and and she was trying to make sense of everything. She opens this book, a letter comes out, and it was a letter that and I wrote years before. She she knew that she was gonna pass.

SPEAKER_02: 1:33:37

Ah How are you going to preserve that? How are you going to preserve that?

SPEAKER_00: 1:33:45

Through the actions that I do and through keeping that letter, my mom has it.

SPEAKER_03: 1:33:51

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00: 1:33:52

In that letter, it said, oh fuck, uh fuck. It's a um, she had a beautiful way of writing things like poetry. And the letter it's a uh grief me if you must. For um, I'm already for it's it has so it says something along the lines of basically you can grief me when you need to. But it's time for me. It's time for me to go, for I I still have more to live. Um and I still have more to do. But no. Oh my gosh. No that I'm here if you ever need me. Uh yeah. It's that's amazing. I'll show you too. I still have to picture it. Wait, it said, like, just just call me, call on me, I'll be nearby. Just know that I'm not gone. Um, you have given me the love that I have that I will always cherish, and please to give some love to yourself. Ah, when you grieve, oh my gosh, I wish I'm not human.

SPEAKER_02: 1:35:01

No, you're great. I mean, I think um, who who said that when you walk into a room, your ancestors come with you, you know, and that your ancestors, they come with you, your people, you know, that's the strength of your people. I think as Filipinos, we really feel that. We feel very connected to our people culturally. Um, and that what a gift from your grandmother. Like what an amazing gift. So the preservation of that is important, and the way that you choose to honor her legacy is a responsibility.

SPEAKER_00: 1:35:39

Well said.

SPEAKER_02: 1:35:40

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00: 1:35:41

I'm literally fighting. I heard you. I'm you're a good kino. It's just when that letter fell out and my mom read it, she broke down, and I when she sent it, and I'm like, Yeah, that's a lot. I refuse to believe that she it's such a weird thing. She knew that she was gonna and I hate I didn't want to believe it.

SPEAKER_02: 1:36:01

I just didn't want to believe it, but how old was she when she passed?

SPEAKER_00: 1:36:08

She she was over 90. Yeah, I mean those what a freaking blessing.

SPEAKER_02: 1:36:13

Yeah, that's it is, but her that letter is her wisdom and probably some of the answers to the questions that you hoped you asked her. So reading that should give you strength, a little bit of grounding, right? And um a little power knowing that you carry her with you. I think that's so important.

SPEAKER_00: 1:36:34

It's funny you say that because my mom gave me a book that was only written for me. And it was my grandma, she really wrote it for me, and my mom was like, she left it for you, and it was all the prayers about God because she knew I lost my way. And uh every chapter was every part of the emotions, happiness, frustration, every little emotion so you can name. Yeah, and she wrote all of her wisdom.

SPEAKER_02: 1:37:06

Keno, I don't know why you think that you don't have the ability to ask her questions. She left you all of these answers. How important? I'm gonna start interviewing you. I'm gonna start interviewing you. So no.

SPEAKER_00: 1:37:26

I just wish I rode more back.

SPEAKER_02: 1:37:30

Well, the reality is that there's nothing you can do about that. There's nothing, there's regret gives us nothing. So you work on the things that you can do something about, which is learning from her words. You know, even if you have to read them daily is a little devotional. Um, I kept all my uh cards that my grandfather sent me, my birthday cards and stuff. And, you know, when I need a little bit of strength, that is there for me. I can return to that. That is a gift. Um, but you know, spending time on what you could have done doesn't leave you a lot of time for what you can do. And so I would focus on that if I were you. Well, and and and honestly, that's not really advice. That's my lived experience right now. I cannot bring my grandfather back. I cannot call him, I cannot uh do all of these things, but um, I can create things that I think that he would get a kick out of that he would think are cool or funny. Anytime I wanted to do something crazy, my grandfather was the one that I would call because he would say, Girl, you just think you think of the craziest stuff. Or he'd go, girl, where did you think of that? Or where'd you come up with that idea?

SPEAKER_03: 1:39:01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02: 1:39:02

How do you find that? You know? And so I would love, um, I hear that in my head when I think of when I do something that's a little bit um, I just recently, a couple months ago, I bought a car that my grandfather would have gotten a kick out of. He would have been like, girl, who taught you how to drive this car? And so, um, you know, just keep pushing and knowing that I believe that he still has um uh a uh a way to experience all the things that I'm doing in my life now, you know, and that he's um watching over me and and kind of still laughing and getting a kick out of some of the things that I the crazy shit that I want to do. You know, so I remember I took my grandfather to seaside.

SPEAKER_01: 1:39:55

Why?

SPEAKER_02: 1:39:55

We drew I took my grandfather to seaside many years ago, and he goes, How did you find this place?

SPEAKER_00: 1:40:06

Did he did he uh react specifically to Allie's speech where everything's so wise?

SPEAKER_02: 1:40:09

No, we didn't go that far. He was like, How did you find this place? But you know, my grandfather, who was like a living map, you know. I mean, it I'm from Louisville, he like a couple months before he passed, Greg and I were visiting a few months before we passed, and he was still giving Greg directions all over the city. I mean, sharp, you know? And he it always gave me a little bit of a giggle to do something that he felt like was amazing or cool or funny, or um, and so I look for ways to kind of recreate that experience. And so um, you can give yourself a little like grandma pat on the back anytime you do something that you know she would be proud of, even if it's not a big deal to anybody else. Because our grandparents have this way of celebrating little things about us that people are like, that's stupid.

SPEAKER_00: 1:41:08

Looking back on it, yes, I can see now.

SPEAKER_02: 1:41:12

Yes, grandparents are the only people who are like cheering you on for crazy things like going to the bathroom, like you know.

SPEAKER_00: 1:41:19

When I got to tattoos, I mean, and I'm like, please don't do that anymore. But then when I told her to mean she said, Oh, that's so beautiful.

SPEAKER_02: 1:41:24

Right. I was like, what? Because you can't do any wrong, right? You can't do any wrong.

SPEAKER_00: 1:41:29

No, I'm going more.

SPEAKER_02: 1:41:30

Right. But like, but yeah, I mean, huge wins. Grand grandparents celebrate everything about us, and uh, we should do that for ourselves when they're gone.

SPEAKER_00: 1:41:42

That's what I love about the podcast. I I didn't even do this just for views. I maybe, maybe subconsciously I'm doing this to find the answers that I need for myself to start healing from. And you are definitely that that right there.

SPEAKER_02: 1:41:58

I'm glad to be a part of that. Thank you for inviting me, Keno.

SPEAKER_00: 1:42:02

Anyways, you were saying the projects, what's next? Oh, uh you talked about your grandfather's.

SPEAKER_02: 1:42:08

Yeah, the the rebrand, obviously, our team here, which is gonna be huge, and I don't know what's gonna be next year. Um, 2020.

SPEAKER_00: 1:42:16

No, there you will know what's coming in 2025. You're gonna be a better you, and you're gonna be have a team that's even gonna be better than this year. And most important of all, you are now going to realize that everything that this that's happening at this moment, you will do better in the future in 2025.

SPEAKER_02: 1:42:33

I hope so.

SPEAKER_00: 1:42:34

No, it ain't gonna be hope so. It will happen because you believe so. So thank you, Keno. Thank you so much for being on this podcast.

SPEAKER_02: 1:42:42

I'm super honored.

SPEAKER_00: 1:42:44

As always, guys, I already pre-recorded the entry ending, which I'm so thankful for because I can't do this while I'm crying. Um so and yeah, they they pre-recorded. But in case I don't put it in, thank you so much for watching. Uh, this has been Henrikor. Chantel, please drop your socials one more time so people know where to find you and also the Francis Roy Agency and how else they can get in touch with everything that you're involved in.

SPEAKER_02: 1:43:07

Sure. So FrancisRoy.com and then um at Francis Roy Agency on Instagram, at Chantel PD, not the police department on Instagram. We're on LinkedIn and Facebook. I mean, we're easy to search for and find.

SPEAKER_00: 1:43:23

So thank you guys. That is it for Henrik Corn, and I'll see you all in the next one. Bye. That's a cat cut. And that's a wrap for today's episode on Henry Court. Thank you so much for sticking with us. And I do hope that today's episode was insightful and also it gave you some kind of fresh perspective in your creative journey. If you're listening on Spotify or any other podcast platform, a quick review is definitely gonna help. It helps other people find us. And for those that are watching on YouTube, make sure you drop a comment down below or a question because I would love to see what your thoughts are. If you have any takeaways, advice, insights, anything of the sort, I'd love to see what you guys have. And most importantly, I hope you guys can take away a lot from these conversations, especially if you have hearing loss or disabilities. Because I want you to know that you are not limited by your condition and that you are more than just that. Thank you so much for watching. Stay inspired, and I'll see you all in the next episode.